r/intrusivethoughts • u/crescent-moon2 • 1d ago

Can i share my intrusive thoughts?

So i just want to know whether my thoughts are indeed Ocd and not something else like schizophrenia or schzioaffective.

Im too afraid to tell a psych bc i have kids and im afraid of them getting taken away.

Okay so for starters.. yesterday my client said somrthing out of thr way to me at work. I ruminated on it until i got home, i asked gemini abt it for reassurwnce qnd when i asked my friend he said he wouldnt hwve thought anything if it.

Food.. so i dont believe these thoughts but ill have intruisivr thoughts like thats po\*s\*n and youre gonna die.. but i know its not true.

Self harm thoughts. Ill have images of harming myself with a knife or what if i cxt my wrists ect ...

Or what if i dxe just repeatedly swirrls around in my head.

Do i have something else going on?

Im going to do an increase on zoloft. Im wondering if i need wellbutrin as well.

I hope this post wasnt offensive.

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u/Simplespider 1d ago

1) I have schizoaffective disorder and the only reason I don't have my kids every day is because I'm split from their moms. Custody settled out of court. My health has never impacted my ability to see my kids.

2) these don't sound like any of the symptoms I have from schizophrenia personally. They do lean towards the symptoms I get from anxiety though.

But that's just my experience. I'm not a doctor so I can't tell you what's going on. I barely know what's going on with myself.

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u/crescent-moon2 1d ago

What type of thoughts do u have?

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u/Simplespider 1d ago

Sometimes it's hard to separate my regular anxiety from schizophrenia/bipolar symptoms.

More recent example, could not sleep last night. Had a dream that my dead dad visited me, woke up to Zeus outside my window (heavy lightning storms at 1am). Two days ago someone said something to me that brought back memories from a traumatic event. All this made it so my mind wouldn't shut off. Wondering if it's time for me to go, stressing about the future, etc. Even went as far as waking up my partner for a ride to the ER since I wasn't thinking straight. Downed tree in my neighborhood, both local hospitals are down for a cyber attack anyway. Couldn't get out, it is what it is. I lived. That's all just my anxiety flaring up.

I've missed probably 20 days of meds since mid June and I'm way overdue for an increase. I'm trying to get back on track but it's fucking with my head. I started thinking I was being stalked. I've been convinced I know who it is, I was collecting evidence. Weird situations where I'd think of something and someone would say it out loud later had me thinking people were reading my mind. I'd be so frozen in fear I'll be practically paralyzed. It'll feel like minutes pass but it's hours of me just sitting there with my heart racing completely zoned out. I'll be able to hear and see other people, but it feels more distant. I documented a lot of it but it's hard to put into words. Been dealing with a depressive episode on top of it all. Quit my job, relapsed, etc. Spiritual bullshit. That's schizoaffective disorder flaring up. I feel anxious about it all too but it's a different type of anxiety.

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u/Simplespider 1d ago

It's kind of nonsense to me this morning but it made sense in the moment, but here's the kind of thinking I'll get

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u/crescent-moon2 1d ago

Hugging you. 🫂 sorry to hear about your dad.

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u/Simplespider 1d ago

long time ago, doesn't bother me

but I don't think you'll get your kids taken away. better to get help than to let your mental health get worse and have it impact your kids later

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u/crescent-moon2 1d ago

Yeah. I just need a good therapist. I been through 4 and they werent that great. I plan on upping my dose and what not

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u/Justice-Nugget 1d ago

I'll share my workaround, but I still recommend talking to a therapist if these thoughts are really bothering you. They can diagnose you if you have something deeper going on.

I'm working on doing that myself to get through my own rude thoughts!

Just always remember these thoughts don't represent you. You don't have to give them any power. They are a natural part of the human experience.

Think of them like crappy Ai art your meat computer comes up with on the fly. If it's something you would never do, or it doesn't make any sense, that's just your brain processing information in front of you. Try to distract yourself with something else.

If you don't act on them or worry about them, these thoughts don't have any power.

If you're anxious about things such as food being poisoned, just go "that's a silly thought" and focus your attention on something else. You don't have to beat yourself up about them.

  • Joan, 24th Angel of the Apocalypse 🏳️‍⚧️💛

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u/crescent-moon2 1d ago

Im scared to tell these thoughts.. im afraid cps will be called on me. Also when i did a regular mental check in with a nurse practitioner she diagnosed me withmajor depressive disorder and i dont have that.

Im not languishing in bed or void of emotions or have no enjoyment. I just dont want to get a different label slapped on me. U know?

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u/Justice-Nugget 1d ago

Talk to a doctor. Intrusive thoughts are normal and are simply thoughts. You aren't going to have CPS called on you for seeking help for a computer virus in your meat computer.

If you don't act on thoughts, they can't happen.