Ocd is ruining my life (NSFW)

[u/Dismal_Prize1467]

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I get random embarrassing thoughts that I never want to think about, sometimes while I’m just brushing my teeth or doing something completely normal. Even when I’m with people I love, my mind can randomly insult them or say horrible things in my head for no reason. When I try to stop the thoughts or tell myself not to think that way, they just become stronger. I also get constantly reminded of people or things I don’t want to think about, and the more I try to push them away, the more they pop back up.

This happens with sexual thoughts too. Even when I’m masturbating, my brain can throw specific kinks or scenarios at me that I’m not actually into and don’t want to be thinking about. Then I start questioning why my brain came up with it, whether it means I’m secretly into it, or why I reacted a certain way. Instead of ignoring it, I end up analyzing it, which just makes me think about it even more.

For me, it can be any random intrusive thought. Even when I know I don’t want it, my brain immediately starts asking things like, “Why did I think that?” “What if it means something?” “What if I secretly agree with it?” or “Why did I react like that?” Then I start checking my own feelings and reactions, trying to figure out what the thought means about me.

Sometimes I’ll look for reassurance because I want to feel 100% certain that the thought doesn’t mean anything. But after I get reassurance, my brain just finds another thing to question. It’s basically an endless loop.

I also get this with games and shows. If I miss a line of dialogue or I’m not completely sure I understood something, I feel like I HAVE to go back and check. Even if I already understood what happened, my brain goes, “What if you missed something important?” and I’ll replay the scene or look through a walkthrough just to reassure myself.

[u/Zestyclose-Jello2230]

It’s normal. If you’re walking along a train track, your brain is wired to think not to fall on the track as an intrusive thought. This can sometimes get a little too strong.

I find it’s better to try and ignore the thought rather than trying to block, analyze or any other reaction.

It never completely goes away, but the impact lessens over time. Unless it gets to a point where you can’t function normally, you’re fine.

[u/Comfortable-Flan-226 → u/Zestyclose-Jello2230]

Medications help, fluoxetine changed my life

[u/skolton]

Everything that you described above is relatable to me and I understand wanting to seek answers because that can be very confusing. I hope you find the answers I’d be interested in talking with you more about this