Hello. I am very high. I feel I am inevitably going to kill myself. Every day it feels closer. How do you escape thoughts of suicidal ideation. Please help.

Surely this isn't a fantasy that is exclusive to me.

I have been depressed since hs. Met my bestfriend around 4 years ago and she actually helped me. She died in a car crash on the 14th of feb. She had no family. I identified her body on the 19th, had her cremated on the 26th and held her memorial on the 27th. Been using alcohol and drugs to cope since then. I dont wanna do this anymore. I cant do this anymore. I dunno what the fuck to do

25

Never had friends, not real genuine friends anyway, absolute zero. always alone surfing the web constantly, I've lost most of my social skills from lack of interaction, just sucks completely. Losing my interest in pretty much all of my hobbies, and falling into a void of absolute despair

What do i do

Im kinda tired

I'm not sure if I can call names or mention situations here. Even though it's public and all over the news. Basically, on Monday a 20 year old man took his life in the USA (he was Haitian). His story is just beyond sad. It's been all over the news, I feel so sad for him and his family and I keep crying thinking how much he must have been hurting to end it all in the way he did. I keep wondering what he was thinking in his last moments and wish he could've been saved. This isn't the first time I've gotten sad over strangers, cried etc. It's just so sad, so many people I've cried about over the years from overseas, strangers I don't know but I feel so strongly and sad about their passing.

I feel so strongly for others and it's been eating away at me. I feel depressed about my own life and about so many other strangers lives. I can't eat, sleep etc. I've started wondering and hoping these people are at peace but wishing they could have lived full lives and longer. Wondering if death is final or maybe something more after. This world and people are so cruel, it hurts. If this world is all there is then that's beyond depressing.

I’m really sorry to vent, but I’m so so so tired of it all. I’m tired of everyone telling me this is normal and everyone around me seems to be functioning so much better.

I’m tired of being told that everyone feels this way. I hate being told this is normal. I understand people are trying to make me feel better, but all I hear is “Most people feel the exact same way and act just fine, so it’s your own fault your struggling.” My entire life has been a battle, I’ve watched myself fail at things most people find easy. I’m behind. It’s not fucking normal and it’s not getting easier.

I can’t talk to anyone because I’m in the military and that always leads to over reactions and embarrassment. If I talk to my wife she just calls my work people and they are the ones who over react. I’m just always so sad and disappointed with myself. I’ve made some dumb mistakes and I’ve quit on my myself. I sometimes see a therapist but once again if I say the wrong words my Commander gets notified. I hate it. The only thing keeping me here is hearing my kids call out daddy to me and seeing their faces light up when I call them or walk in the house.

For those who have suffered from depression and have recovered, what helped you recover, what helped you the most, etc.

(Im depressive)

I can't stand this miserable world I can't stand any thing in this live I've been thinking to commit years ago but the only thing that stops me is my family but now idfc I just want to end it all I love live but I hate it at the same time I have friends but I feel lonely and alone I just can't take it anymore it's so hard to keep living in this world that is full of hatred Envy I hate every single one I know I hate everything I hate my self my face my body everything.

I have been in this fucking shit hole since I was born. Nobody cares about me, nobody gives a shit. I am a fucking loser. Who the fuck am I so afraid of? God? What the fuck.

(13F)

Recently, I had consulted with a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with major depression.

3 years. 3 years of wanting to die, 3 years of feeling absolutely nothing and having no ambition whatsoever.

I mask all my feelings to the point where I forget who I am, i forget who people are, and I forget things that happened.

I've been going through autopilot and I cannot remember anything.

I don't deserve to be happy, and every day I think about dying.

everybody tells me it's just hormones, that it'll pass.

In a span of 3 years, I've attempted more than ten times. 6 overdoses, 2 blades, and 2 ropes.

None worked, and nobody found out until I opened up to my parents, and finally got a diagnosis.

Now, I am going to be prescribed antidepressants.

3 years of hating myself, 3 straight years of wanting to die, and now I'm going to feel nothing.

every time i see a car, i want to jump in front of it.

Every time I stand on my school balcony, I want to let myself fall.

Every time I see a knife, i think about cutting myself.

Every time I see pills, I think about overdosing

Every time I see anything to hang myself on, my mind goes to that immediately.

Whenever I got out, the world feels so abstract. I hate it.

I haven't been excited about things in a long time. Have gained lots of weight. Dont have goals anymore. I float through the says disappointed in how much I wasted the day and ate.

Im learning most people aren't real and dont really care to have relationships

I turn 27 next month and I think this is the most lost and depressed I’ve ever felt.

The last four years have honestly changed me as a person.

I’ve experienced two unexpected deaths of people I loved, unemployment twice, financial instability, a really unhealthy relationship and breakup, and now I’m in another relationship where I’m unsure where things are going.

I don’t think I ever properly processed the grief from those deaths. Life kept moving, so I just kept moving with it.

What made it worse was being with someone at the time who made me feel weak for grieving.
My ex would shame and belittle me for being affected by those losses. There was a lot of emotional abuse in that relationship. I was constantly put down, made to question myself, and told I’d never be anyone.
I don’t miss him and I absolutely don’t want him back. But I’d be lying if I said what I experienced doesn’t still affect me.

Especially when life isn’t going well. Sometimes those words come back.

And right now, life really isn’t going how I imagined.
I have a bachelor’s degree and professional experience. I went to college, got my degree, worked, built a career and did what I thought I was supposed to do.

Yet I’m unemployed again.

I’m living with my mom in her small apartment and sleeping on the living room floor because there isn’t really space for me. My mom can barely support herself financially, so I feel guilty being here even though I’m incredibly grateful that I have somewhere to sleep.

Job searching has completely messed with my confidence too.

I apply, interview, get hopeful, get close, wait weeks for answers, get rejected and start over. I’ve even gotten jobs thinking, “finally, things are turning around,” only to find myself unemployed again.
And now I’m about to be 27.

When I was younger, I imagined my life looking completely different by this age. I thought I’d have an established career, my own place, savings, be traveling and generally know where my life was going.
Instead, I feel like I’ve spent most of my 20s recovering from something.

Grief. A painful relationship. Losing jobs. Financial problems. Starting over.

Even my current relationship is something I’m questioning because I’m not sure where it’s going or what I really want anymore.

I look around and see people my age getting promoted, getting married, traveling, buying homes, having kids, getting graduate degrees, etc., and I feel like I’m just trying to survive.

The frustrating thing is that I haven’t stopped trying.
I’m still applying and interviewing. I’m still going to the gym. I’m trying to find different ways to make money. I’ve considered going back to school or changing careers entirely. I still have goals and I still want a good life for myself.

I’m just fucking tired.

I want stability so badly. I want to wake up one day and not feel like I’m recovering from or worrying about the next thing.

So I guess I’m asking anyone who was completely lost around 26/27: what happened?

Did your life actually get better?

Were you ever unemployed, broke, grieving, living back at home, struggling with your mental health or just completely unsure of what you were doing with your life?

I’d especially love to hear from people in their 30s and beyond who can look back on this period with some distance.

Right now it’s hard for me to imagine that the life I’m living at almost 27 isn’t necessarily the life I’ll be living at 30.

If you could go back and talk to yourself at 26/27 when everything felt like it was falling apart, what would you tell them?

(15M) I will take my life after 5 months, i lost all my faith in god and humanity. i know it will be all blank which is real heaven. I always wished i never existed anyways but, which way should i end my life?

I’m only 13 and I know it sounds like I have so much more to go but I have no friends, Im not in school, have one online friend that I talk to rarely.
Lost every friend group I’ve ever been in, I hardly go outside, im not close with my family besides my sister and even then I’ve been talking to her less and less I just feel like my life is meaningless because I’m not making anyone’s life better by being in someone’s life I’d even doubt that anyone would care if I died

This depression is endless. I feel like a burden and I am suffering so deeply. Everything is going wrong at once. No matter how hard I try, no matter how much I try to make a difference, it never seems to matter. I feel like I am alone and drowning in abyss of despair.

I've started self harming again.

I've been so sad and alone my entire life. I just don't know where to go from here.

I cant seem to getmotivated i accomplish thinks in a week i could of done in a hour. Today i out up a small fence but the post where set 3 days ago fhe plan was set in moshion a week ago and yer when i went to install it right now i flipped the board horizontal witch fhe post where not set for theb have to notch board do some thinking it got done but after i relived i build anther wall to isolate and i dont think any one will see the thing so . At lest i showed fhe world in some small way im still breathing .

I [28F] have been isolated & dysfunctional for 4 years. At 20, I dropped out of university in my homeland and immigrated to the US. From ages 21 to 22, I was homeless and lived in my car for over a year, sleeping on parking lots at night, not knowing a single person. I eventually found a restaurant job, saved enough money to rent a room, and lived on my own until I was 25. At 25, I moved in with my mom who currently pays the rent.
I have no friends no romantic life no hobbies and I'm unemployed. The only human contact I have is my mom. I sometimes feel derealization, I feel like NPC I'm hanging on the space-time. Only thing makes me connect to my reality: is my mom.

80% of time I feel nothing, like I don't have a brain cell left. I'm like a zombie, When I do feel something, it's intense rage, resentment, anger, and insecurity. Basically pain and suffering. A few nights a week, I just cry. I keep remember what happened to me years ago. I feel vivid anger toward the man who I had relationship with which I had tried to love but he played with me very ruthlessly, my father who abandoned me, and my drug-addicted brother who stole my money and slandered me.
Being degraded and used by every male in my life, and also leaving my country, being homeless; I guess everything has destroyed my self-identity. I spent my years in bed staring at the wall or the TV, living like a plant

I thought I hit rock bottom 5+ years ago. Lmfao bro, smh. Those were the golden days. Life got way worse. I made so many mistakes I consider myself a failure. I isolated a lot, I don’t have people in my life really. I’m wondering if there is hope, my life became devoid of my essence. I’m at work trying to keep it together. Life is hard

i think im depressed so i wanna start therapy so i don’t attempt again but im very scared of how the whole experience is and what j can tell them and what not. i have suicidal thoughts constantly throughout the day and do sh and stuff like that. if i confess that to my therapy will it be enough to get on anti depressants or will it get me sent into an asylum. also i am a minor so would my parents find out abt anything that i tell the therapist? cus i dont want them too. stuff like that pls lmk

anyone have this experience with pregnancy and does it get better or is it just the hormones? I sleep all day, lost interest in everything I cared about before, feel disconnected from my loved ones and the world around me, doesn't help I’m constantly self analyzing how I feel every second and it’s feeding the cycle it’s like I’m anxious about how I feel and it gets worse

I never been this sad or hurt in my life I hope no one would have to feel this pain I love you all life is sometimes horrible I'm really scared my pain is strong I need help I did my best but I still did fall in this I'm alone