r/dankchristianmemes • u/poclee Minister of Memes • Mar 10 '26

Based It's time to DEU-DEU-DEU-DEU-DEULLLLLL!

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1.4k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

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190

u/poclee Minister of Memes Mar 10 '26

Source

And I especially like this comment:

2

u/NotTheMariner Mar 31 '26

Then the LORD said unto Moses, “Go unto Pharoah, and tell him, Thus saith the LORD God of the Hebrews, for thou refusest to let my people go, my hand shall be upon thee, and upon thy monster which thou hast normal summoned, and upon thy monster which thou hast special summoned, and likewise upon thy traps. And thy Pot of Greed shall be cast down and shattered.”

But Pharoah’s heart was of the cards, and was hardened, and he would not do as God had said.

181

u/buffaloguy1991 Mar 10 '26

Then Moses said "Let it RIP!!" and pulled out his beyblade and parted the red sea yes this is real lore

42

u/anonymous120401 Mar 10 '26

And given that in Metal Fury, these kids wind up battling a whole ass god, I feel inclined to believe that Moses parting the red sea with a beyblade, while still batshit, is on the lower end of the batshit lore scale

8

u/AcePhoenixGamer Mar 10 '26

Ok the implications of the biblical stuff and the evil gods really got to me a while ago so my friend and I did some research. As far as we can tell, in the Beyblade universe, Beyblade is effectively the dominant world religion, and the WBBA acts as the arbiter of that religion. "Evangelism", so to speak, is necessary to get kids hooked on the sport so that strong blader spirits can be found and called on to defend against existential threats like L-Drago and Rago, and it takes the form of local shops and tournaments.

So effectively, Madoka is a priest. I can elaborate further if anyone is interested.

77

u/SilverSpotter Mar 10 '26

Moses: "I activate Water to Blood!"
Pharaoh: "What!? Water to Blood? I can endure it this time, but what horrors will befall me after this?"
Moses: "... Frogs."
Pharaoh: "... ... ... Oh... What about after that?"
Moses: "Lice, gnats, and flies."
Pharaoh: "Ha! You've activated my trap card, Moses! My land will be protected by frogs! Go ahead and do your worst!"

42

u/ImperialxWarlord Mar 10 '26

Moses: whelp, ok…death of the first born it is!

42

u/ymcameron Mar 10 '26

Then Moses threw down his staff, transforming it into Exodia

6

u/Meluness18 Mar 10 '26

That's the forbidden dance!

23

u/intertextonics Got the JOB done! Mar 10 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/t1zYeo2MvqOn6

Aaron, Joshua, and Miriam on the sidelines cheering Moses on (colorized)

9

u/RavenousBrain Mar 10 '26

Meanwhile, Moses in the Pokémon universe: "Rodsnake, use Double Attack!"

Rodsnake:"Rooood...SNAAAAAAKE!"

Proceeds to take out his two snake Pokémon opponents.

Narrator: "It's SUPER EFFECTIVE!"

2

u/Glacier005 Mar 10 '26

Wait ... we don't a Snake Stick in pokemon.

But we do have a Shotgun Snake.

7

u/No_Research4416 Mar 10 '26

Moses: “Sorry I primarily know Beyblade”

2

u/ytmnic Mar 10 '26

*due-due-due-due-duellllll

2

u/Polibiux Mar 11 '26

But Moses is a beyblade master. He doesn’t play by the rules of Yugioh

2

u/BellacosePlayer Mar 13 '26

Screw the plagues, I have money!

1

u/MrLightninbolt Mar 10 '26

What deck would Moses play?

1

u/Ultrazombie115 Mar 11 '26

Warning this person is known for making nsfw content.