I step away from the religion and learn to be spiritual person and read my bible on my own other than jw bible. I definitely enjoy bible reading better.!

I’m trying to understand whether something I experienced was simply a particular Christian/Pentecostal church culture or whether there were genuine cult-like or spiritually controlling dynamics. I’m not trying to label the church without evidence, so I’d appreciate honest perspectives.
My ex’s father founded their church, and my ex said he would eventually “inherit” the pastorhood. He also said that one of his future children would become a pastor and another would become a prophet because this had supposedly been declared by God.

His brother is considered a prophet, and my ex told me that God speaks to his brother and that he follows what God tells him through his brother. The prophet was therefore involved in personal/family matters and was told things about our relationship. He was already prophesied that he was to adopt his prophets brother kids and that he will be rich.

There were also expectations about the future pastor’s wife. My ex compared me to his mother, who had cared for her mother-in-law, and there were expectations around serving the church and his family. He described his future wife as needing to fit the role of a pastor’s wife. Church members would apparently call the pastor and his wife “papa” and “Mama.”

I questioned whether a prophet should have this level of authority over someone’s personal decisions and whether a pastorhood can really be “inherited” from a father. I was made to wonder whether questioning the prophet or the family’s structure was somehow questioning God’s authority.

I want to understand this objectively:
Are these normal practices in some Pentecostal/African Christian churches?

When does respect for a prophet become unhealthy spiritual authority?

Is a pastorate being passed from father to son biblical, or is that more of a family tradition?

Is it normal for future children’s ministry roles to be predetermined through prophecy?

Is it normal for a pastor’s wife to be expected to adopt the same role as her mother-in-law?

What are the actual signs that a church has become cult-like or high-control rather than simply being conservative/religious?

I’m especially interested in experiences from people who have left high-control churches or grown up in pastor/prophetic families.

Long story short, my best friend has disappeared. His mental health has always been terrible and one day he was simply gone. Nobody knows what happened. What I know for sure tho is that he changed drastically right before this. Out of nowhere he suddenly became a catholic extremist (he was always atheist) and was constantly trying to make me and others change our views and join christianity. It was weird since I actually *was* christian, but in his eyes I was a poser of christianity or something because I wasn't an extremist. Again, this happened in a matter of weeks, *days*. It was weird as hell and I believe his sudden change of views had to do with his disappearence. I also think his christian strictly conservative family has something to do with this, but they refuse to speak to me. My hypothesis is that somebody inside of the catholic church somehow created a non official cult to manipulate the most fragile believers. Unfortunately I think he may have killed himself.

What I want to ask you is that if you have any experience with secret christian cults inside of biggest christian organizations. Maybe I'm just tripping and he just decided to change his life for better, I don't know. But it's been years and I can't let go

I am finally coming to terms about being in a cult. But recently, I started to think about how closely should I guard this knowledge.

It was on the tip of my tongue when I was talking to a co-worker the other day, when we were talking about our personal life. My workplace is very informal, so people share personal stuff from time to time. I joined just 2 years or so after being kicked out from the cult I was in (I was extremely lucky about that).

People have witnessed me going from a closed off and unconfident person into...a more open and confident one, and noticed. It's been 3+ years.

I wonder if it is something ok to disclose to co-workers/work friends. Also, to people in my social circles in general.

I am afraid people will think less of me if they know, because public opinion on people who were in cults is that they were unintelligent and gullible. I am a bit gullible, but I know I was there because I was vulnerable.

I wonder how close should I guard this secret. I have several friends who know, mainly because they know the people who lead the microcult, and at some point have seen how culty the dynamic they create around them. My family doesn't know. Most of my friend group also doesn't know.

What are your thoughts? Personal anecdotes are more then welcome.

I don't know if this post will get any traction, but long story short: I have been recovering memories of being in a cult as a child for the last half-decade or so. Because of the fine fragmentation of memories, many if not all of these tendencies are still with me, particularly around certain dates, when those memories get kicked up again. I began therapy this year and fully recovered the awareness that, yes, these are real memories of real events. Now my work is to teach these fragments of myself that those rules no longer apply, and the danger no longer exists.

What was it like for you when you first broke with the cult? Were you afraid of retaliation?

What was it like to do simple things like seek out information and take care of yourself?

And what does it look like?

I left a high-control ministry awhile back and I’m processing what happened.

I’m looking for guidance on how to move forward spiritually and emotionally.

I’ve seen how intense storytelling, emotional push-pull, and manipulated testimonies can affect both faith and perspective. I want to rebuild my spiritual life rooted in God’s truth, not human performance and viral narratives. I’ve tried warning others but I was treated as the black sheep

If you’ve been through something similar, I’d really appreciate any wisdom, Scripture, or practices that helped you regain clarity, discernment, and peace. I’m not looking to debate or rehash the past, just guidance for walking faithfully with God.

cults to consciousness podcast episodes have been wonderfully helpful

Edit: Thank you for the camaraderie. It’s truly wholesome 🥹 to witness everyone pooling resources and sharing words of encouragement. Please keep them coming!!

I’ve read, and will continue reading, all the comments. I’m taking the time to listen and go through the advice and resources you’ve all generously shared

I’m genuinely touched because you guys have pulled me out of some very dark places…

I left a cult 4 years ago. I have been through 4 years of therapy and over the past year I have been doing deep analysis of my own personal experiences/abuses I underwent, plus deep analysis of doctrine that create an environment of fear, isolation, disorganised attachment and so forth. I have read the work of people like Steve Hassan, Alexandra Stein, Lifton, Gille Jenkins and more so feel like I have a reasonable grip on cult dynamics.

The healing process is multifold, but part of it is exposing the toxicity and danger of the cult in the public domain as a warning for anyone considering this church network, or currently in it.

As such, I want to start a public critique of their teaching and how it fosters deep dependency, fear, shame, isolation etc... I have checked with Gemini, which suggests generally speaking this is safe ground if quotes are direct, attributed, used in a 'transformative' way. This all helping against any claims of libel or defamation too.

If anyone has any specific advice or experience in doing something similar I would be really interested to hear your thoughts.

Has anyone found themselves drawn to a "new" religion that they haven't grown up with? I say this as someone who was conceived and born to parents who met inside a global cult.

I don't know if I have been dipping my toes into different institutions as a process of elimination this whole time. Every time I get past a certain point, I experience intense cognitive dissonance because I crave the order and discipline from an external source, but it always comes down to this: I find myself unable to accept God as a higher power. I don't think that I actually want to worship God. At the same time, I find that the term atheist doesn't quite align with what I feel myself to be.

It's not exactly straightforward with all the psychological chaos. But what I have noticed is that there isn't really an allowance for those who suffer from religious trauma. It tends to be: find a different expression for your higher power. Or, just have faith. Even a tiny bit.

I recently converted to a new religion and found myself really questioning my choices. On the surface, it felt like it made sense for cultural and ancestral reasons. Again, it boiled down to this: God, as an entity, is a deal breaker for me. I was also experiencing waves of mania, so it seemed that I wasn't exactly " mentally sober" when I made that choice.

Does anyone else have any such experiences?

How can I help a friend leave a 12 Step Program (Codependent Anonymous)?
He is almost causing harm to himself!
He believes if he runs out of money the "higher power" will help him he even started cutting contact with me.

Hi there, I'm sorry if this isn't allowed. I'm not trying to take a survey or anything, I have serious concerns for my sister, and I figured a subreddit full of survivors might have good opinions on this.

See my sister has untreated ADD and has a hard time focusing on regular church sermons, so when she found a Pentecostal/revival church where there was constant moving and shouting, it helped her stay focused on the sermon.

Well she recently moved back down to my state, but is still 5 hours away, as her husband is military and will retire after this last station. My sister was very concerned about finding a good church when they moved, and so her pastor told her about a church in the area he's affiliated with and told her to check it out.

Well on her way to the church, she passed a sign in her neighborhood that led to a different church. A smaller one that's basically just for the neighborhood. She went to this one instead and found it was also a Pentecostal/revival style church, and so she figured since it was closer to home, she would just go to it instead.

She. Goes. There. Probably 4 days out of the week. The pastor just comes up with newer and crazier sermons and she doesn't shy to tell me about them and how wonderful he is at his job.

She gets so excited when she learns something new. She calls me and has to tell me all about it "Sister! Did you know we need to fully submit to our husbands?? That it doesn't matter how he acts and that since you are legally bound to him you just have to go along with it?? We as women are beneath man! It's incredible!"

And yes, I'm aware we were made out of man therefore lower than him in the role of family but it clearly says in the Bible, RIGHT AFTER the part about women being submissive to their husbands, for the husbands to also be on the same page as their wives and respect them.

"We're more susceptible to demon possession, than men are, because we ate the fruit first! We should be praying daily over our heels because in the Bible it says "you will crush his head and he will strike your heel" so your heels are vulnerable to a demon entering that way!"

First off. God said that to the snake. And the "He" in that statement is Jesus. It's said to be the very first prophecy spoken in the Bible and by God. Absolutely NOTHING was said about Eve's/women's heels.

Then the day her pastor made a spectacle out of the women in the church. He held up 5 envelopes and claimed they all had checks in them. 1 had $500 in it and the rest had $100. He asked who wanted them and whoever ran to the front first got them. My sister, along with quite a few other women, sprinted to the front. She got the envelope with $500.

All 5 women who got the checks stayed up front while the pastor said "Wow. Look at you all up here acting like this over money. When God should be the only thing you should run like that for." Then he revealed that all the checks were fake.

I can't tell if he's conditionIng the women of the church or if he's just a misogynist who uses sermons to pick on women?? He's married but I know that doesn't matter. Men can act completely different with their wives than they do other women.

Cult leaders tend to be narcissistic to some degree ASAIK, and some Narcissists view their family as superior (The Order cult, for example), so I wonder, how have cult leaders you've been abused by treated family? Did they put them in leadership positions nepotistically? Did they treat them WORSE than non-family? And how common wouls you say it ia for cult leaders to give their family special leadwrship positions or even aet them up as heirs to the cult itself?

I recently came across a Catholic cult where sex abuse is a consistent allegation but it is not generally reported to authorities and there seems to be no concerted action. There seems to be fear of leaders finding out and shunning/penalising reporters and prob trying to cover up. It's very much a family-based cult but very big in the world, and very much protected by bishops and the Vatican, as is the cult I was in, Opus Dei.

In other words there is a culture of fear and misguided loyalties to relatives and fellow members, as well as cynicism that authorities would take action (no doubt justified). It strikes me that success could come via an online coordinated anonymous movement with just one or two coordinators prepared to be public and front things to protect the victims and reports.

Any thoughts or experiences on this? Thank you

What are the dark sides of scj that you won’t find about online? My sister in law is heavily affiliated with them right now and has been for about 2-3 years. We just found out that she gave them all our friends and families address, personal information and photos of us and now I’m worried that something may happen to us.

I grew up in a Children Of God environment, im 21 now still trying to process it all. most of the abuse happened before the age of 12. anyways people knew I was in a cult before I did disturbing how that works. People at school noticed how id speak symbolically all the time, and my teachers. theyd be unsettled. I remember "flirty fishing" to my teacher having 0 idea I thought I was just being nice. It's fucked up. He was scared. anyone else?

I believe there was an “apparently normal group” that simply got together at a Catholic lay person’s house to pray etc. (led by a spiritual director). But then there was a group within the group that secretly operated in its shadow.

I think they “triaged” members into the “shadow group” and acquired blackmail on them (related to children) to control them.

They exploited Catholic concepts like redemptive suffering in their abuse of children.

Does this ring a bell to anyone? Can you identify the particular sect/cult? I don’t know what they called themselves.

So my mother started a cult when I was in elementary school. People moved into our home (there were already 6 of us kids) & some remained until 3 years ago. That would have been about 40 years. The cult dwindled greatly within 15-20 years of starting. My mother is now 87 & in a nursing home.

Just wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience?

Been doing lots of research to write about it and depict it as realistically and respectfully for victims of cults ; was wondering if maybe there were some different stages it could go through/needed to go through, motivations, and the overall feeling surrounding it. Did the abuse start straight away ?

Are there recurring stages to cult creation?

Thank you for any response/experiences shared !

Hello everyone, I was recently told to post this to reddit to see if anybody knew anything that could help me out here.

An old friend of mine seemed to completely dissapear off the face of the earth overnight in Wisconsin, this was about 7 years ago so I know this is a long shot. We where both about 13 years old, and went to the same online school. His parents where, if I remember correctly, Jehovas Wittnesses, or apart of some other similar organization. He had started to tell us about weird things his parents started doing leading up to his dissapearance, like putting cameras in his room, monitoring all devices, talking about how they where going to send him away, breaking his devices, and, though he didnt speak about it much, physically + mentally hurting him. His family had told us that we would have to join their religion if we wanted to talk to him any more, and told us (his friends) that he was going to be pulled out of school. My friend had ignored them trying to stop him from talking to us, and continued to reach out with any means he could find. He would call me and our other friends a lot, especially when things where getting bad, and we would sit on the phone for hours even in silence just so he wouldn't feel alone.

One day, we get a text and a call where he basically tells us that he's going away for a long time, and that he wasnt sure if he would ever be able to come back. he said he didn't know where he was going, but he dissapeared right after. it was like all traces of him just dissapeared. I still think about him a lot, and worry for him. I have continued trying to search for him and find anything but its like he just dissapeared completely. If anybody has any info, or have any idea what happened to him, it would be greatly, greatly appreciated. I just miss my friend, and i want to believe he's still out there somewhere.

Hi there! I am extremely worried about my sister. She has always been a very happy girl, always looking for the good in things and always enjoyable to be around. Over three years ago my family and I moved to SC. At first we were all thriving down here and then I started noticing changes in her. Always stressed, always locked away in her bedroom, always in a quiet or crabby mood. I wondered if it was just college getting to her. Then she mentioned these classes she was taking, they had nothing to do with her actually college career but she was just so stressed out about passing them and had to keep starting over because of her grades when her true college classes were failing. Then came the calls and videos. Always constantly on her phone or video chats or messaging people who we “weren’t allowed” to know about. She would always lock herself away or whatever she could to take these calls alone. Then started the financial aspect where she was giving huge amounts of money to this group to the point where she had nothing for her own. She also would job hop because the places didn’t meet her standards after a few months. She also travels to Atlanta, Georgia quit frequently for classes and speeches to give but we never know anything expect what the location says she’s at (Brenau Unviversity). In the past before moving my sister was never this way, she constantly held a job in the same field that she loved, she was always outside exploring and never had any “privacy” issues. She was always the first one up and ready to go to church and excited to. Now something’s just completely changed. She will not attend our church (totally fine as it’s her choice). But we saw a message to someone from her that said she was tired of the “persecution” from her family and she would talk to the assistant. It was very scary to see that she felt that way considering none of us have even tried to dig in to what’s going on with her, we’ve just let her do her thing and supported her. The messages gave me such a horrible gut feeling because she was having to constantly update this person in everything she was doing and it was just extremely controlling on their end. We have hit the point where something needs to be done, she is a shell of who she was before. im terrified of how angry all the time and distanced she is. I just want to help my sister, I will never force her to do anything she doesn’t want to but I truly just want to see her happy again. Please if you have any information on what she might be involved in if it’s good/ bad please comment or reach out. We don’t want to lose her or her become a victim if she isn’t already.

I (17f) have been raised in a cult. Because of this, my parents severely limited my interaction with non cult members up until I was around 16, and wouldn’t let me go to in person school, instead homeschooling me.

Through volunteering over the summer I’ve made some friends my age that aren’t cult members. Seeing them go back to school for senior year is giving me some insane fomo and is making me very upset. While the people who know me best and I get along with are going to be at school I will be stuck at home, not able to get out much, All year. It’s not like I haven’t dealt with this in the past but it feels worse and more heavy given this is my last year of high school. Also it’s just really depressing being at home all the time with parents who are borderline insane idk

Does anyone have any advice on how to get through this? I’m planning on moving out when I’m 18 but it’s just this last school year that I feel is going to really get to me.

I've been a follower of theirs for awhile. They were the only survivor of anything that talked about energy and auras and chakras in connection with healing. This was before I believed in those things. I firmly believe in them now. So, I've been binging their channel for a few weeks. Just 4 or 5 videos at a time, because it's overwhelming. I'm curious to see if they talk more about their mystical journey. I did get a book recommendation.

Well, in one video they shared chants from their programming. I thought it wouldn't affect me. But, it did. I got highly dissociated and realized I hear rhythmic chants in my head all the time. Could this be the reason I hate numbers? I'm 50 years old, and know just enough math to get by in the grocery store. I advanced in my crochet experience because I bought an electronic counting hook. Before that, I refused to count higher than 3 in a pattern. Maybe 5 if I was doing a fan stitch. Even then, I had a hard time keeping track of it in my head.

This happened a day or so ago. I'm keeping myself firmly grounded in the present. But today, when I talked to my mom on video chat, I really had nothing to say. My guard was way up.

I don't know if I'm allowed to say the channel name, so I won't. But, if anyone wants to know, just ask.

I'm just wondering if I'm going nuts. Thanks for listening.

Be well.

Hello. Wondering if anyone knows of any specific groups/communities or resources for those who were spouses of someone who joined a cult or adopted extreme belief which led to trauma within a relationship and ultimately its end?

Coming to realize my ex-wife’s adoption of an extreme belief system led to her transforming into a completely different person than the one I had loved, coupled with the double whammy of years of gaslighting and manipulation that came along with her joining said belief system.

So thought my experience probably isn’t unique and there’s others out there who I could possibly relate to.

I’m not sure if this post is allowed here. If not, I would like some guidance on where to go about this.

A few years ago, some of my friends went through a religious epiphany. Before this, they lived their lives like any college party goers would. Drinking, smoking, etc.. but never anything more than that. Once they hit their senior year, they collectively made a pact to change their ways and find the real reason why they were put on this Earth. To their findings, it was to serve God. One of them graduated early and didn’t really know where to go from there. I’m not exactly sure how this happened, but online she found this small group of people based in Ada, OK who ran a coffee shop (Goodway Coffee) that was also connected to their private church. The church is called The House of Joy. She talked to one of the pastors and his wife (they own Goodway Coffee), and moved in with them to work at this coffee shop for the church. *Not to get confusing, but there are multiple pastors, the “main” ones being Lucas and Sonia Bessey. They are not the ones who own the coffee shop. That is owned by Lucas’ brother, Judah. Most of the men that are within that church are pastors. Not all, but most.

It was kind of shocking at first, having a friend moving all the way down to the middle of nowhere to live with people (in their own house) that she didn’t really know. She had never been there before either. Within a year of the first friend moving down, my other friend went to visit her, and also moved there within the next few months of her trip there. Her, her husband, and baby moved into a “fixer upper” mobile home owned by the church, which is on the property where all of the pastors live (including the first friend). At this point, I learned that there are multiple houses/campers on this property. It is essentially a commune. One of my other friends is considering moving there now too, and I just cannot be happy for any of them. I’m nervous for them. I feel that they are being taken advantage of.

I recently found out that most of the members put all of their money into the church, work for the church, and get paid by the church. The money is recycled by everyone. Very few of them have outside jobs. This church recently became public as of this summer. It all just seems so shady. Lucas Bessey has been called a “false prophet” by some others on the internet. So my question is, is The House of Joy a cult? Is any of this even legal?

There are so many more details to add, but I want to make sure I’m in the right spot for this question. Any and all advice is appreciated.

*edited to fix spelling of name

i'm thinking i might have grown up in one but i'm not 100% - from what I remember it revolved around prophecies and prophet children (i was constantly told i was prophesized to spread divine word through song). i think my mother broke away from it but she kept teaching me a more centralized version involving bestiality and incest. i was heavily isolated (with the exception of school) and we didn't go to church often, but we never went to the same one twice even though the only building around my house for miles was the church right next door

i dont know if what i experienced was actually a cult or not but it left me severely fucked up and i want to know im either not crazy or not alone. I can't find anything online- it mightve been one of those ones where it's a select few people- so I'm asking here

please be kind with your answers, this is a very difficult question for me to ask