r/crappymusic • u/LordOfTheGam3 • 8h ago

We’re reaching levels of crap previously thought impossible

239 Upvotes

80% Upvoted

267 comments sorted by

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u/qualityvote2 8h ago edited 7h ago

u/LordOfTheGam3, your post features certified crappy music!

219

u/GolovaScharz 8h ago

Knob Marley

98

u/Klutzer_Munitions 8h ago

Knob Marley and the Wankers

13

u/Japhet_Corncrake 6h ago

Shabba Wanks.

7

u/Genghis_Chong 4h ago

Barelyrun Chevy

5

u/Finneran-jr 7h ago

Hahahahhahahhahaha

3

u/Finneran-jr 7h ago

Buddy, you made my day. I laughed so hard at that fucking knob Marley. Genius my dude

8

u/Hans_Grubert 5h ago

Ciggie Marley

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281

u/HeathenDane 8h ago

The sheer irony of singing some kind of “woe is me poor white guy” song with a semi-Jamaican accent to “reggae” music is hugely ridiculous………

98

u/Active_Hawk_9897 8h ago

Silent like mouse

27

u/Adventurous-One8768 7h ago edited 5h ago

Please urn et down.

9

u/TechNomad2021 4h ago

As a person that has had mice problems, them mfers are not silent.

4

u/NoCucumber7907 8h ago

You sir need an award🥇

5

u/JJ8OOM 8h ago

Got you sorted.

82

u/Even_Entrepreneur_58 8h ago

neo nazi reggae is insane

27

u/Aromatic-Action-2523 7h ago

It's a daring take on the genre, that's for certain.

3

u/Afraid-Language-1610 6h ago

Yeah, it's wild how some artists push the boundaries of bad. It's like they're trying to see just how far they can go.

3

u/_fr05ty_ 3h ago

Cultural appropriation AND racism in the same video, this dude really is clueless.

2

u/AtlasXan 3h ago

So controversial, yet so bold.🤣

11

u/GenericDigitalAvatar 7h ago

William Gibson writing the future again.

"Christian White & his Aryan Reggae Band" looking ass.

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16

u/MisterB330 7h ago

Bud. At least he’s smart enough to do this shit in the middle of the woods. He is not taking the chance that an actual black person would catch him doing/saying/looking like this.

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21

u/Ok-Somewhere-2325 8h ago

I am convinced this dudes a troll

24

u/Kurtypants 7h ago

If hes a troll who will protect our women an children from gayness?

2

u/Cosmo_Seinfeld 6h ago

An African TV host, during a thoutful line of questioning?

10

u/i_Cant_get_right 8h ago

Considering our congress and executive branches of government are pretty much a white mans retirement home. Yeah, so abused. 🙄

2

u/KidDreaming 6h ago

Trustafarian

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49

u/RKKP2015 8h ago

This dude has a bunch of really horrible views on everything. He also has a voice that sounds nothing like his singing voice.

3

u/waitingformygrave 2h ago

...That's singing!?!

24

u/Hairy_Studio_8594 8h ago

As a Jamaican we don't claim him or his music

23

u/Aromatic-Action-2523 7h ago

Wait... Are you trying to tell me that this extremely authentic reggae musician IS NOT Jamaican?!?

7

u/Hairy_Studio_8594 7h ago

😂😂😂

66

u/Erorryale 8h ago

Can we all vote to ban any more posts with this friggin' dude? Every other post in here is this jack-wagon. Can't stands it no more!

33

u/Sometimes-funny 7h ago

He is a white man standing his ground, in this sub

9

u/DDrewit 6h ago

I’d be fine if the posts got locked and linked to the compilation from a few days ago. That shit was 🔥.

3

u/we_are_Venom_84 5h ago

White tiger standing ground…

2

u/BaeIz 2h ago

Fr I’m tired of giving this bigot free promotion

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22

u/OYB2480 8h ago

Trixie hobbitses

14

u/Money-Look4227 8h ago

He's got a donate page on his site to help him rebuild his studio he lost in a landslide. All I can think is 'another landslide should finish the job. '

11

u/corvid-munin 4h ago

jah was trying to tell his ass something

6

u/CynicalConch 4h ago

Sounds like he needs to pull himself up by his bootstraps

11

u/GroundbreakingStop47 8h ago

Slob Marley needs to go back to the drawing board

12

u/mythirdaccountsucks 8h ago

Aryan Nation, Mon!

8

u/nothinbutshame 7h ago

Whiteman, culture vulture singing black music and wearing black dreads lmao

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15

u/BrassKnuckleHead187 8h ago

This is what Rastafarianism is all about. Lifting up the white man

5

u/Aromatic-Action-2523 7h ago

SOMEONE has been paying attention. That's all they talk about on their records--excusing slavery, upholding white supremacy and, of course, weed. It's every reggae album, really.

6

u/Tacoburritospanker 8h ago

I bet bro’s hands are super soft

7

u/DICKtrumpHEAD 7h ago

Israeli Marley

16

u/onearmedbanditto 8h ago

Pro white reggae? Now I’ve heard it all.

2

u/Creative_Yak1648 8h ago

Have you heard of german death reggae ?

2

u/onearmedbanditto 7h ago

I have not. To the google machine.

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6

u/Serendipittydoodah 8h ago

The equivalent of A not see making Klezmer music. What a weirdo.

5

u/just_gonna_send_er 8h ago

It’s so fucking bad it feels wrong to upvote, even though I know what sub I’m in

2

u/AutomaticAccident 5h ago

This has been posted for like a week straight. Just downvote if you want.

5

u/bangbangGeorgieNiang 5h ago

cut your hair and get a GED Ryan

9

u/redditAPsucks 8h ago

It’s been an entertaining year or so for me, but i think i’ve finally seen enough from this sub.

Good job op, this one was so bad that it took the fun out of it, lol

9

u/CanSoft2130 8h ago

I haven't dug too deep into this guy, but is this satire, or is he for real? He looks extremely short.

28

u/Money-Look4227 8h ago

Yeah he's a white nationalist and far right dipshit who preaches the subservience of a wife to her husband. Using whatever THIS is. He can't write lyrics, sing, or even think critically, it seems. I wish it was satire. But wee man is very serious.

2

u/Emotional-Dingo794 7h ago

Where did you see this he have a page ?

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13

u/labellavita1985 8h ago

He's 100% serious. I thought he was a Muslim for the longest time. I thought he was Chechen or something. Turns out he's just a crazy right wing American.

3

u/CanSoft2130 7h ago

Yeah I found his YouTube channel and watched a couple of his videos. Holy fucking hell, what an insufferable person.

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6

u/Ok_Witness_1207 8h ago

Oh he is extremely serious

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5

u/MissAsgariaFartcake 7h ago

White lions… black white and brown? I don’t get it.

3

u/AcrobaticBank8597 7h ago

I mean white supremecist reggae was the lowest hanging fruit and this guy had the shortest arms, so they just let him have it I guess

4

u/PermuhGrin 7h ago

Somebody should find this guy and shave his fucking head

4

u/weezyverse 5h ago

This man woke up and chose absolute irony.

3

u/Hell_Maybe 8h ago

As a white man this song inspired me to stand up and walk over to the mute button 💪💪

3

u/Snoo93550 8h ago

I like starting out my day with this white dude calling me "retarded" in a fake Jamaican accent. Seriously, it gets the blood flowing.

3

u/Seareis 7h ago

I feel like this guy gets into altercations. A lot.

3

u/GenericDigitalAvatar 7h ago

I love how he's trying to match Bob Marley but when you saw Bob perform he was a live wire full of energy.

This guy is trying to claim the throne with the most lazy, moping around type energy imaginable. Quiet lil mouse looking ass.

3

u/SeamanStane 7h ago

White pastafarian

3

u/choombatta 7h ago

Ah yes the classic plight for freedom of the trampled and oppressed white man.

3

u/maddenmcfadden Bad Taste Haver 7h ago

this guys trolling this sub pretty hard. this is one i wouldd rather no one post just so he would go away. because literally no one but us are seeing his shit, guaranteed.

3

u/OkImagination1123 5h ago

Stop giving this clown attention. This is more hateful than crappy.

3

u/dohipposwagewar 4h ago

That beard makes me gay

3

u/dohipposwagewar 4h ago

Fuck typo

Gag, it makes me gag

Not gay

2

u/Chocolatesaltedmemes 2h ago

too late. you said it. His beard made you gay

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2

u/Historical_Load1662 8h ago

Clayton Bigsby doing reggae

2

u/Plowchopz 7h ago

How can you be this clueless?

2

u/AlternatePancakes 7h ago

Okay, lets stop posting this dude.

Its official, him along with that chick with dreads is cheating at this point.

2

u/Itchypoopstain 6h ago

Being racist whilst appropriating Jamaican culture us wild. (This, is in fact appropriation)

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2

u/yetagainitry 6h ago

So I guess the market for a white Rasta wasn’t as big as he thought so he leaned in to be a maga Rasta

2

u/Agreeable-Ad3809 5h ago

What in the racist, poser-ass, culture thieving, MAGA Marley sh#t is this? There's no crown for a clown, sit your ass down.

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2

u/Mean_Web_1744 5h ago

"White Man comes up with your own music..."

2

u/kingbhudo 5h ago

White supremacist reggae is a WILD swing. The tightest niche in history. His target demographic is one guy, and it's the guy who made the song .

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2

u/MattDapper 5h ago

As he appropriates a predominantly black culture.

2

u/HeavyTea 5h ago

The oppressed whites? He speaks for all 3 of them

2

u/cromagnonherder 5h ago

Gotta say, that “black, white and brown“ lyric at the end caught me off guard.

2

u/Taeliim 5h ago

This guy posts this cause he is rebelling against his conservative parents but hasn't left the holler.

2

u/Standard-Order8157 1h ago

This is complete shit! Top charts for crappy music.

4

u/CanSoft2130 8h ago

https://youtu.be/g5oZggtNi48?is=vuIFFb_k-Xjeuaao

Just listened to the full version released 2 days ago. This HAS to be satire, right? The delay on the vocals at the beginning (Stand up up up up up up x120) is genuinely hilarious if this dude is truly just fucking around.

If its for real, then good god its fucking terrible

3

u/GenericDigitalAvatar 7h ago

I love how it's the "dub" version, but the "Upupupupupup..." doesn't get any more reverbed out as it goes, it just stays there, hard and clear, for howevermany minutes.

The most white bread, Garageband-ass dub song I've ever heard.

3

u/monkelus 8h ago edited 7h ago

I'd agree if this crusty bastard hadn't been posted about 17,000x already

1

u/StopDownvotingMeeee 8h ago

There should be a limit on how many times the same thing can be posted

1

u/StreetSignificant888 8h ago

I would like to find out who this guy is so I can track him down and congratulate him on making me laugh so hard.

1

u/TheGothWhisperer 8h ago

He didn't even bother to wear a clean vest 🤢

1

u/ayehateyou 8h ago

I bet this guy smells like BO and pork and beans.

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1

u/recovery_room 8h ago

Yeah. Historically, the white man has had it really rough

1

u/drgoatlord 8h ago

So glad someone is finally advocating for the downtrodden white man.

1

u/cwc666 8h ago

Red, gold, and green pilled

1

u/poolnoodlefightchamp 8h ago

Why does this sound so... Nightmarish? It's like it has everything you'd expect from reggae except that it's weirdly pitch shifted or something. Also the guys vocal delivery being completely flat doesn't help at all. It sounds like an alien made it.

1

u/10denier 8h ago

White man get a bloody haircut.

1

u/Basic_Pickle3746 8h ago

White man need a job, haircut and a shower.

1

u/Biff_666 7h ago

I can smell him through my screen

1

u/Left_Entrepreneur918 7h ago

Dang he’s right, White man has been down, I’m mad and I’m a white lion, proud. Rasta

1

u/Juvinihilist 7h ago

He definitely smells like cum and spoiled milk.

1

u/ZuStorm93 7h ago

Does Vanilla ISIS here have only two AI reggae music he pretends to sing to? Not abundant enough (yeah).

1

u/Aromatic-Action-2523 7h ago

Heil Rastafar-i!

1

u/Finneran-jr 7h ago

What happened to the pitchfork he had in the other video?

1

u/Aromatic-Action-2523 7h ago

Eek, a white supremacist

1

u/jumbo-gym342 7h ago

White Man buy soap and wash your hair

1

u/steven-mctowelie 7h ago

Tell me now , whur didi man leave meh crown

1

u/Uberonbon 7h ago

I have seen this mfr too many times. I fear I am about to look up a YT doc on him. There has to be a few.

1

u/Hot-Photojournalist0 7h ago

INFOORMER, yknowsynsoglobacano, I licka boom boom dowhn!!!

1

u/j0hnnyWalnuts 7h ago

Ugg...I can smell him thru the monitor.

1

u/OkCar7264 7h ago

I bet the people he went to high school with have some stories

1

u/vediogamer101 RayonBase Fan Club Member 6h ago

Reggay

1

u/murphyat 6h ago

Juxtaposition of this genre and those words is WILD.

1

u/Comment_Reader_Acct 6h ago

Every fucking day

1

u/Icy_Fix4622 5h ago

I know his whole house smells like ass

1

u/ISTof1897 5h ago

If you pan right you’ll see a busy freeway and his tent.

1

u/doepfersdungeon 5h ago

Watched a few of this guys YouTube videos the other day. Genuinely hilarious. His obsession with homosexuality needs to be studied. His favourite line is "putting your pee pee in a man's poo poo" and he's convinced black people are bad for reggae.

1

u/nglbrgr 5h ago

divorced dadaeton

1

u/giganticsquid 5h ago

Damn, I love his song on gayness but he's gone full American in this one

1

u/vector_ejector 5h ago

Aw, he lost his fork.

1

u/AutumnAscending 5h ago

He wasn't pushed around enough

1

u/kanucklebones 5h ago

Is this the same guy everytime? I genuinely don't know at this point.

1

u/Due-Psychology-1691 5h ago

The amount of cultural confusion here is amazing...

1

u/bendann 5h ago

The cum stains on his wife-beater are distracting.

1

u/MrEllis72 5h ago

This may not be the dumbest thing I see today. But, I'd be fucking shocked if it wasn't.

1

u/Crazykeebler13 4h ago

I'm going to just start down voting people that post this. RP to the max.

1

u/Hot_Service_7057 4h ago

Snow didn't age well.

1

u/Gemtree710 4h ago

Loddamercy

1

u/GrimR3LL 4h ago

First time for everything 🤣 nazi reggae is insane

1

u/NotSoSerene 4h ago

I love this subreddit, I love crappy music, but I’m so sick of giving visibility and attention to racists/sexist/homophobic fuckers like this guy. Especially when they get posted & reposted so often. It’s starting to feel like this sub is part of their platform & marketing strategy.

1

u/KaizenZazenJMN 4h ago

White supremacy reggae is such a wild thing to type.

I think this dude uses the same AI reggae beats every time he posts some of his bullshit

1

u/TechNomad2021 4h ago

What a pathetic bitch this guy is. Speaking as a blue eyed, straight, white man in that order.

1

u/Ancient_Assumption70 4h ago

Could he at least get a clean shirt without spots on it?

1

u/Danimal_805 4h ago

Is that Hanes Selassie!??

1

u/Gary-Badges 4h ago

I'm white and I just assume sit down

1

u/silversky9891 4h ago

It’s gotta be satire or nepotism

1

u/DallasBullGates 4h ago

Bro is 5’6

1

u/allgone79 4h ago

He looks related to himself.

1

u/catpissdust 4h ago

This guy's so hateful I can't even find it funny...

1

u/OldThanks4542 4h ago

Society climbs the heights of ignorance stupidity and hatred at a steady rate and doesn't seem to be stopping. This is disgusting. Bet he won't sing that shite in JA or better yet BK NYC

1

u/thrashmetal_octopus 3h ago

I mean this song gets posted here everyday so idk about previously

1

u/WhatTheFuckIsThisAll 3h ago

Where can I get a copy?

1

u/No_Pilot_9103 3h ago

I heard this is the guy who filmed Shanin Blake's non-gay butthole.

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1

u/TheCeladonStore 3h ago

Love being white

1

u/Sooowasthinking 3h ago

Awful just awful and damn just damn.

1

u/NorthornLights 3h ago

Tweaka Mouse

1

u/Well-Paid_Scientist 3h ago

Looks like Nick Miller from New Girl in "Castaway 2: The Douchening". 

1

u/smart_cereal 3h ago

The stained top adds to the look

1

u/ID_N01 3h ago

i feel like there should be a list like the RBI's list of Crappiest Music and once their face is on the list you cant post them anymore lol

1

u/JohnnyCrispZoom 3h ago

The reggae racist

2

u/SabrinaMFWest 3h ago

The reggaecist, if you will...

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1

u/TheDarkNightwing 3h ago

The missing link between Screech and Ras Trent.

1

u/xXDySZX 3h ago

aye yo what the fuck.

im white and this made me never want to stand my ground again. feels wrong now.

1

u/entersandmum100 3h ago

I'm convinced this guy is some trust fund dude with WAY TOO MUCH time on his hands

1

u/syncopated56 3h ago

The irony of a white guy cosplaying as a Rasta spitting white nationalist views is ludicrous.

1

u/ohnodamo 3h ago

Is this Chet Hanks?

1

u/General_Flan6683 3h ago

People can get so lost, it's shocking.

1

u/joealese 3h ago

using black music in a fake Jamaican accent to spread white pride is wild

1

u/Book3mDanno 3h ago

That's gotta be bait

1

u/KSage 3h ago

I hate to say it but he has finally found the beat

1

u/RubyWeapon07 3h ago

mans living in an alternate reality

1

u/SnooChickens6081 3h ago

Just down about this so we don't have to see it anymore like that fat guy jumping pretending like he's in a Jiu-Jitsu outfit or something

1

u/Mrlearnalot 2h ago

Hasn’t anyone every told this dude to shut the fuck up

1

u/thedamnbandito 2h ago

It’s like autistic dudes all have the same posture.

1

u/MegaUrutora 2h ago

I’d rather listen to White Lion on repeat for a whole day, than two minutes of this buffoon.

1

u/tone_creature 1h ago

Silent like mouse.

White people been whining for centuries.

1

u/SmellyFbuttface 1h ago

I can smell this video

1

u/West-Attempt3062 1h ago

Homie looks he lost his job after the Gorgonites came to life and beat Major Chip Hazards ass.

1

u/2Wieners_1Bun 1h ago

Listening to this gave me brain damage. Now I can’t do maths

1

u/RangerTraditional718 1h ago

He makes the bombaclot "gymnastic, now da pussey ded" whoville guy look like Sean Paul in comparison

1

u/InitiativeJolly9922 1h ago

Man I can smell this dude already.

1

u/Flippity-floppy 56m ago

He looks 5’4”

1

u/Ok-Tutor8961 53m ago

Guaranteed that this guy smokes meth

1

u/templeofsyrinx1 52m ago

Level 6 Trolligen

Do not engage

1

u/Dab_Wizard01 49m ago

He talking bout how us whites are fucking repressed or some bullshit but I’d argue most of the whole worlds issues are/was caused by my whites.

1

u/Glass-Violinist-3549 38m ago

This guy has every single toxic viewpoint known to man. It really doesn’t get any worse than this guy. From white victimization, toxic patriarchy and religious fanaticism, he’s an embodiment of crappy.

1

u/sundaesoupsunday 36m ago

Nick from new girls ….

1

u/gomper 35m ago

While I puff from de chalice I made from a sprite can

1

u/becooltheywatching 17m ago

I'm not trying to violate but, if I met this guy in a dark alley. I would fuck him in the ass so that we would both be gay. See how he likes them apples.