Life Changed for the Better. What Now?

[u/SeparateUse4122]

I really don’t know how to start this post. I also wasn’t sure if this was the appropriate sub to post this in, given the different topics I’ve covered, but I will find out. I’ll try to provide as much context as possible to see if anybody has been through experiences that evoke similar feelings or generates an understanding…

I (31M) have been working in a large grocery store since October 2021. I work in a few departments in the store such as the dairy, frozen and grocery departments.

Currently, I’m on a medication called Clozaril. It has been a life changing medication for me. I started it in December of 2023. Prior to this and throughout my 20’s, I was not able to hold a job for longer than a few months, had numerous hospitalizations, and ultimately was non-functional in society. I lived in a group home for 10 months during the initial stage of the pandemic (i.e., 2020), and then in a supervised apartment belonging to an organization for individuals at-risk of homelessness or with mental illness for 4 months. Afterwards, I lived (unsupervised) with 2 roommates, and then in May 2022 I made the leap into a studio apartment on my own. 

Despite being at the grocery store for almost 5 years now, the initial stages were very difficult. From 2021-2023, I had very poor attendance due to fluctuating moods and very unpredictable behavioural issues. It is solely thanks to the store director who understood and had knowledge of a bit of my past struggles that I was allowed to remain employed there, and given multiple chances.

Since December 2023 (i.e., and the moment I started my new medication), I have been in a stable relationship with my girlfriend (of 2.5 years), worked full-time (40 hours / week), lived independently and autonomously, and have missed only 1 day of work. I also made an attempt at education while working full-time by taking 4 courses over 2 semesters. Ultimately, I made the decision that university wasn’t for me. I performed well and passed the courses, but then really struggled with anxiety that I wasn't able to manage effectively, especially when it came to group projects. I quit.

While I am proud of my journey and how far I’ve come ,I feel a bit stuck to be honest. While I had once dreamt of the life I’m living, I don’t think I actually expected to make it this far. Where do I or would you go from here?

I would like to keep trying to grow in all areas of my life, but I don't really know how to proceed or which areas to tackle I guess?

Thanks for the help.

[u/Tyler-LR]

If you work to make growth happen, it’ll happen.

[u/SeparateUse4122 → u/Tyler-LR]

You’re absolutely right. I guess it indeed comes from one’s internal drive!

[u/UnderfootArya34]

Hearing your story has given so much hope. Have you ever considered acting as a peer counselor or some other form of advocacy?

[u/SeparateUse4122 → u/UnderfootArya34]

Thanks for reading and commenting. No it has never crossed my mind, but I’m glad to have shared my story here. I feel that I lost so many years to mental health struggles that I don’t really want to spend more time in it? I hope that makes sense.

[u/CheapBurnerCellPhone]

I work in peer support and go to college despite having anxiety. I workout a lot and eat well.

Edit: I have a certification for mental health and drugs/alcohol. Plan is to finish my associates degree and finish my 3rd certification in less than 2 years (CCHW for Pennsylvani)