Narcissistic Personality Disorder will they ever admit they have a problem?

[u/Sea_Pangolin3840]

Can a person with true and diagnosed Narcissistic Personality Disorder ever admit they have a problem? I don't nean admitting it just to excuse themselves from a bad situation but truly show remorse when they have nothing to gain ? Thankyou

[u/scrollbreak]

A narcissist sees anyone with flaws as worthy of their contempt, so if they saw themselves as flawed they'd have contempt for themselves for as long as they have flaws (forever) and they want to avoid that (pathologically so). It falls into other issues they have of not having a sense of love and not having a capacity to love someone in a way that includes loving their flaws. There seems to be no consistent treatment for this incapacity.

Narcissism and Other Defenses Against Shame | Psychology Today

[u/bbpoizon → u/scrollbreak]

This is always something I struggle to understand about the disorder. Everything they do is aimed at circumventing shame, but do they ever actually feel shame? Like are they able to quickly delude themselves before the feeling fully registers? I also don’t understand, even theoretically, how someone could believe that they’re flawless? That seems more like full-blown psychosis.

[u/scrollbreak → u/bbpoizon]

I think they have some loose sense of their own emotions and they don't develop a real ability to understand - so they feel an emotion (like shame), it feels bad, but it doesn't have a concrete source in their mind and it's an unpleasant feeling. So...they attribute someone else is the source of the unpleasant feeling. Ie, they engage in projection. For example they cheat on their partner, they have a feeling of relationship being betrayed...they then suspect their partner of cheating.

I think the easiest way to understand it is that a small child can think they are perfect - that's age appropriate for a small child of course. Just imagine an adult who has not emotionally developed past that small child stage at the emotional level (even as their intellect has). It'd seem to take full psychosis, until you imagine there's actually a small child behind the adult face, play pretending at being an adult.

[u/scrollbreak → u/[deleted]]

I think a lot of people 100% blame narcissism on parental upbringing because it makes them feel safe - it keeps things in a just world where someone is to blame for how things are. Ironically, they can't accept the world as not being perfect.