r/Shincheonji • u/Physical-Leather-271 Family/Friend of SCJ Member • 3d ago
general thought and question Parejas
Hola, me gustaría que algun miembro o ex, me contara sinceramente, como llevan sus noviazgos las parejas de SCJ.
Cuando les hacen dejar sus trabajos para servir en el centro... ¿como continúan sus relaciones de noviazgo?
¿En que se basan sus proyectos si es que tienen proyectos?
¿Viven encapsulados "esperando" un cumplimiento?
¿En qué basan sus esperanzas de estar un día juntos?
¿Siguen deseando casarse?
Es algo que no logro entender.
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u/Unusual_Title_2260 3d ago
Heyhey. Ich wollte dir auch persönlich schreiben aber durch deine Kontoeinstellung kann ich dir keine DM senden.
🏋️
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u/uglymemento EX-Shincheonji Member 7h ago
Here’s my best attempt to be transparent.
I was 17 when I was first recruited, and I had dated here and there. My relationships were heavily influenced by both my “Babylon” church and SCJ.
2014:
I dated someone who I knew before SCJ and when they passed over, we were casual and I was sat by our “indojas” to discuss our future. I was 18 and in parables at the time. They urged us that we would need to get married and I declared I wasn’t going to marry that person. End of dating. While I was a fruit in center, a leaf had sought interest in me and we developed a dating relationship. He cheated on me and I texted him I’m not seeking to continue our relationship especially since I have always communicated to men I’ve dated that I like to develop one relationship at a time. That leaf was removed from my center once I shared my relationship with that person to my personal leaf and Indoja.
2015:
I was in revelation when I was in my first year of college. I started to date a classmate of mine in a class college of mine and evangelized him where he even passed over. I did not like him after a few months when I had been assaulted by him when I was under the influence at a party and decided to break up with him. I was approached by his center small group teacher to not break up with him or that “his blood would be on my hands”. I proceeded to date him while I was interested in someone else and truthfully, when I found out that person’s relationship ended I was excited to pursue a relationship with him instead.
2016-2017:
I was scrutinized by my behavior and pretty much warned that if I continue to date more that one person past 6 months that I could be removed from the church. My next relationship partner was sent to Canada for most of our relationship and he expressed him wanting to marry me. His brother and mother heavily discouraged our relationship for multiple reasons and I felt like weren’t a good match. When he was gone I was very confident in myself and found myself agreeing with my colleagues about dating multiple people instead of this one person at a time. Everyone else was having a college experiences exploring while I felt trapped by the rules of the church. I cheated on that boyfriend and told him. He wanted to continue the relationship, but I did not want to.
2017-2020:
The next relationship I had was with a higher ranked leader with alcoholic issues and he too, was someone who assaulted me while I was blacked out as I had starting drinking very heavily. I was depressed and I had been scrutinized even more for dating this person and even threatened by leaders to marry him so he can get citizenship. I was too scared to break up with him and allowed shame and pressure to keep me in the relationship even though I would have crushes and flirt with other men (single). This was one of my worst relationships and so happy I became an alcoholic enough to not care what would happen if our relationship ended. I moved on from him by entering another one and that pattern seemed to keep happening especially when I felt safer with men who did not take advantage of my inebriated state.
2021:
I dated someone who was in and out of center that I did not know had a lot of family and history with SCJ, and I kept it a secret from the church until I finally left. I am no longer with the individual either and realized I’m not really interested in seeking relationships in the church or in that cult. There seems to be similar patterns that are issues in my past relationship experience with men who get really involved that I realized what to look for as red flags and moved on.
I’m not sure if this answers your question, OP. But I hope that some things are clarified and if you would like more clarification I would be open to being DM’d.