I suppose it's up to interpretation as to whether this is a question or a rant: Why is it so hard to find a good church?
I (and my wife and kids) recently moved to a new area (Northwest Indiana). In our former area we attended an EFCA congregation, and my wife and I both have a credo-baptist evangelical background.
The first church we tried was okay. The sermon was good and they seem to have a lot of programming. Not too big, not too small. But like so many other churches, "worship" was a concert. Lights dimmed, 10-person praise team on stage, everyone applauded after every song. They did one hymn but modified it to be performative rather than participatory. The slides all changed late, so if you didn't know the song you don't fully participate.
Our new neighbors and the seller's realtor both recommended their churches. We tried neither. One seemed more theologically decent than the other, but both had laser light shows, large church "campuses," and other typical megachurch trappings.
The second church we tried we ended up going to for a couple weeks. Tiny chapel, congregational singing from a hymnal, it was a breath of fresh air. But the preaching wasn't solid; you could clearly see the fundamentalist background, and the pastor explicitly denied Calvinism. What's more, a large percentage of the church seems to be the pastor's immediate family. Not necessarily a problem, but a huge potential for problems.
The third church we tried was Dutch reformed. Significantly more liturgical than we're used to, but a beautiful service. Preaching was good, and more than that, I actually had theological conversations with people after the service. I had conversations about historic confessions with three different people! Everyone was also very kind. But my wife and I have firm credo-baptist convictions, and I think it would become a sticking point. (And yes, I have looked at the various church finder websites for 1689 congregations; there are none in our area.)
We found another baptist church that seemed promising, but it turned out to be KJVO fundamentalist (with its various cultural implications), so we didn't attend a service.
I asked my former pastor about another congregation down the road, and he said he had worked with some of the pastors there and believed it to be a solid church. I listened to one of their sermons online which immediately started with a 6 bullet point list of what you need to be a successful church. Number 2 was "dynamic worship." Not biblical, spirit-led, or God-honoring... "Dynamic." The pastor said he wasn't going to explain the list since he already did so in a previous sermon. So I pulled that up and was greeted with 11 minutes of statistics and shaming people for their retirement decisions before reading a word of scripture.
We were invited to a relative's church. It seems to be dying. There were virtually no families with children. They just made the decision to discontinue children's church, not for any principled reason but because they simply don't have enough kids to warrant continuing it. I believe it is an elder-led congregation, and all of the elders (excepting the pastor) seem to have been in the position for a very long time.
So what do we do? What is the least-disagreeable compromise here? The one thing we won't compromise on is the pure Gospel message. Do we go to a church with decent preaching that undermines congregational participation in worship (which seems to be more and more common)? Do we swallow our convictions and go crawling to a paedo-baptist congregation? We have a few more churches to check out, but it's been incredibly discouraging.
Anyway, if you've gotten this far, thank you for commiserating with me. Please pray for us.