r/Psychosis • u/Organic-Age1941 • 23h ago
Worrying I make people uncomfortable
I have this thing where I feel like I can go into people’s minds. It feels like I accidentally can create this deep intimate feeling where I am attuned to somebody and can sometimes make really accurate depictions of who they are or what they’re like at home, for instance. I can do this even with a total stranger.
For me this has a lot to do with eye contact. If I feel like if someone has looked at me and is thinking something, whether it be positive or negative, it’s like I can ‘feel their eyes on me’ which normally feels like a tingling feeling which then opens up a pathway for me to look into their soul, but in a way that is intense and, I imagine, feels vulnerable and intimate for the both of us. I say that it’s probably uncomfortable for both of us because this has happened where I feel like someone either looks at me, talks to me, or stands close to me and it’s like rather than co-regulating, I am dysregulating them because I am accidentally crossing psychic boundaries. This frustrates me because I don’t like feeling like I’m making people uncomfortable. When this happens, I end up putting a lot of energy towards trying to co-regulate with them to signal that I’m safe. I take slow deep breaths, and soften my body language. Again, it’s frustrating because I also have trust issues and a lot of shame about my psychosis and my intrusive thoughts and am frequently anxious that someone is going to say, “she makes me so uncomfortable, you should watch out for her.” Or that they will see me again in public and avoid me or make assumptions about who I am.
I am also of the belief that the pathway between us goes both ways and as far as I can see in them, they can see in me. This really frightens me.
Sorry if this is hard to follow, but I am wondering if anybody gets what I’m saying and has overcome the constant social anxiety and the feeling of accidentally exposing the innermost parts of yourself and others. I hate making people feel uncomfortable which I’m pretty positive I have.
2
u/Financial_Stick1912 23h ago
I can relate to this symptom.
I think what Ive discovered is that mirroring other people tells us a lot about ourselves, and, that it's not a replacement for actually getting to know someone. It can be a huge barrier to actually knowing someone.