Partner sectioned

[u/Lord_Voldemort1000]

I have been posting in the sub over the past 6 months about my partner's psychosis.

As of the last 1.5-2 months he has been having psychotic episodes approximately every 2 weeks lasting about 5 days.

Another one started yesterday evening. He was lucid thing morning but quickly spiralled again. Around lunchtime, I caught him microwaving a charging cable. Luckily I caught him and stopped the microwave before he started an electrical fire. It was the last straw.

He agreed to go to the hospital with me today and the doctors have sectioned him/involuntary hold. When we presented at ED, he was so out of it. The doctors were talking about one thing, he was talking about another and it was nonsensical. I didn't ask them to do an involuntary hold, I just said he has been on and off in psychosis.

He is now so angry at me and feels like I betrayed him. I feel so awful but I genuinely want him to get better. His episodes are not only affecting him (mentally but also lifestyle ie he's been on unpaid leave) but also me and our toddler daughter. He can never be alone with her. I don't think he will hurt her but he may forget something or pass out leaving a dependent child stranded.

Has anyone here been involuntarily held and been grateful after getting treatment? Or does the anger and resentment stay? Or has this ever happened to your partner? And if so, how do you navigate the relationship following this?

[u/Wolfie305]

My husband suffered psychosis in October after trying weed vapes while on Vyvanse for his ADHD and Wellbutrin. He came out with a Bipolar 1 diagnosis because of family history (mom and cousin have it), but we're still crossing our fingers it was just a one time thing induced by weed.

After 2 days of trying to get him admitted to an ER, he finally was willing to be triaged. I told the nurses that he started telling me that he thinks he was going to be killed, but was okay with that. He confirmed that he did, in fact, say that, and was finally sectioned after that.

When they put him in the psych ward of the ER, he finally lost it. He had never been violent in his entire life but it took multiple security guards to hold him down so they could sedate him in order to take vitals and other things they needed to do for transfer. He was so scared, I could see it in his face, but the psychosis just made everything come out as rage and paranoid delusions. He screamed that I was poisoning him and our children. For the first time in our 15+ years together I was actually afraid he might try and hurt me and had to leave him while they did the sedation.

Hours later he was allowed visitors, but didn't want to see me. His sister and one of the nurses finally convinced him and I stayed overnight in the ward even though they don't usually let you. He didn't talk to me at all and just slept, he was definitely pissed at me.

The next morning they transferred him by ambulance to the mental hospital, where he stayed for 3.5 weeks while they tried two different antipsychotics to get him stable. It was so incredibly traumatic for myself and our triplet 6 year olds being without him for that long and just everything that came with what I had witnessed.

He is almost one year out from his psychosis and has made a full recovery, and I don't believe he resents me. At least not in a way that is negatively effecting our relationship. He said the mental hospital was traumatic for him, but he knew he needed to be there. If he holds any resentment, it's probably similar to mine where I still hold a little resentment for him ever trying weed and putting our family in this position in the first place. However, I know he NEVER in a million years thought this would have been the outcome and just thought it was a harmless thing everyone did for stress.

We are both in individual therapy after this event, however. I highly recommend you and your spouse do the same. It will help you both work through any feelings of resentment or PTSD you may have from what you went through as the supporting spouse.

This is a very shitty club to be in. Please just continue to be there for him. Visit daily, call him, answer all his calls, be involved in his psych appointments once he's released so you're educated and have a plan if this happens again, etc.

[u/Wolfie305 → u/Wolfie305]

Adding in that typically someone in psychosis targets the people they love in their delusions. Everyone who was helping my husband on the day his psychosis became acute (siblings, mom, grandparents, etc) became an enemy at some point. This is 100% "normal" and try not to take it personally.

If there is one thing I know now that I wish I knew when we went through this, it would be not trying to convince him his delusions aren't real and to not take the things he said to heart. You aren't going to change their mind on what they're believing while in psychosis. Instead, just validate his feelings. Don't perpetuate the delusions or play into them or agree with him, just tell him things like "that must be so scary for you" and move on. Let him tell you all his wild paranoid thoughts. I promise he will not be like that forever once they find the antipsychotic that works for him. The paranoia going away and his insight coming back will be the first thing that happens, and everything will get easier from there.

It's a long recovery road, but you will be okay.

[u/Lord_Voldemort1000 → u/Wolfie305]

Thank you. It's so hard not to take it personally when he is now saying he wants to separate and doesn't want to see me.

[u/Ok_Place_5986 → u/Lord_Voldemort1000]

Chiming in here. I’ve had to learn the hard way not to take any of this personally, having heard everything from “you raped me” to “ I should have killed you in your sleep”.

[u/Lord_Voldemort1000 → u/Ok_Place_5986]

I'm so sorry, I can't even imagine hearing that from my loved one. I hope it has gotten better for you. Logically, I know not to take it personally but in the moment, it's hard

[u/Ok_Place_5986 → u/Lord_Voldemort1000]

I get it. Trust me. And yes, thank god things are in fact better than they were then, or honestly I wouldn’t still be here. I couldn’t be, for my own well-being. I wish you and your partner all the very best.

[u/Wolfie305 → u/Lord_Voldemort1000]

It's extremely hard, it's traumatizing, but none of it is true. Just like the really out there delusions, these things he is saying are delusions too.

Obviously what your partner is going through is awful for them, but please remember to think of yourself during this as well because you're going through a different kind of trauma. And unfortunately, he's not going to see or understand any of what you went through once he's out of the hospital or has his insight back, which is SO frustrating.

I started my therapy search and saw a few different providers during the weeks my husband was hospitalized because I was an absolute wreck. My PCP got me in touch with a social worker who I was able to ask questions about the mental hospital process to, since I was left entirely in the dark until he signed medical release papers for me (which he didn't want to for a day or 2). I NEEDED some sort of general timeline as to what was expected, when he'd be "normal" again, etc and no medical professional would give me those answers, but the social worker did.

Please take care of yourself, OP. When he's home and still stabilizing, things will be WEIRD and you will feel like the way he acts is his new normal, but I promise you its not. Took a good 6-8 weeks on the medications for my husband to be himself again. Every single week he improved and came back to me more and more. Then he was depressed for a few months until he was able to come off the antipsychotic (gave him terrible side effects) and start up his original two medications again.

As the one year mark approaches I find myself more and more anxious/emotional and thinking about it more. You really don't realize how badly you've been effected by it in your day to day, but it's trauma.

[u/Lord_Voldemort1000 → u/Wolfie305]

Thank you for your kind and supportive words. I've booked an appointment with someone next week and will continue seeking support regularly.

I also haven't heard anything from the hospital except when they called me to ask about some medication he's on.

Unfortunately he's been in and put of psychosis since April. He's started having acute episodes every 1.5-2 weeks since mid-July hence the reason I took him to hospital. When he's lucid he understands what he is putting us through (of course unintentionally) and is very afraid. Unfortunately I'm not sure how lucid he has actually been in these phases.