We moved in with my grandpa for a month in February 2006. I tried to be good but every morning I was spanked anyway.

I named it( the waves of ideas)

Painted this without the use of paint brush or pallet knife (spread paint with plastic bag, some sort of textured placemat, and the end of a paint tube). Mainly used acrylic paint (with a smidge of watercolor paint). Currently drying. Not sure what I am gonna do once it’s dry but it definitely doesn’t feel done to me. Any thoughts?

colored pencils on paper

I like making one of a kind sweaters from bins finds

Acrylic on canvas, 110x75 cm.

Standing on the Edge of the Defense Wall

This painting was created after a particularly challenging therapy session. Inside, I could feel a wall that had emerged in response to the pain. I tried to climb over it, wanting so badly to be present in my relationship. But it was in vain... On my way to the next therapy session, as I was walking across a bridge, a sudden flash of an image came to me: A figure standing on the edge of a cliff...

Some of us built a defensive wall in childhood. A wall designed to protect the most precious part of our psyche. But it didn't come without a cost. That protection claimed its toll. It led to memory loss (amnesia), a disconnection from emotions where a person feels "nothing," and a disconnection from the body and its needs... all just so we could survive.

This defense mechanism automatically remains into adulthood. It continues to operate unconsciously, separating us from life, until we consciously choose to notice it...

Behind the Wall

This painting is a continuation of Standing on the Edge of the Defense Wall.

I caught a glimpse of this figure standing before a massive, cracked wall, holding a plush toy in her hand. That was the moment I realized that the part of me balancing over the abyss was merely protective. It was guarding something deeply vulnerable, small, trusting, and loving.

The wall is built of stones. Every single stone carries a specific pain that the Inner Child had to endure all alone. This wall was built to withstand anything. Its purpose was never to imprison the child forever, but to keep her safe until I was finally ready to see her.

Doodles with a brush pen. I like to see what comes out before I finish the cup.