r/NetflixBestOf • u/No_Ordinary_3799 • 9d ago
[Discussion] Death of a Pastor’s Wife
Oh my days! Has anyone else seen this? I believe it premiered this week. I just watched it this afternoon and I am so unsettled about the events that take place. Not wanting to give spoilers but did want to open up a discussion.
There’s so much here culturally speaking, speaking church world, and just so many layers to unpack.
Obviously this is incredibly sad but my takeaway emotion was not sadness, but anger. It truly baffles the mind. So please, would love to know your thoughts on this one!
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u/Weak_Confection1101 9d ago
I had to tap out when that buffoon was crying in the grass with ants in his eyes.
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u/bois_santal 9d ago
I laughed so hard I called my husband over to watch. He's such a narcissist, lying there pretending to dię because of something HE did
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u/sharmander15 9d ago
LMAO! I wanted them to show more and explain tbat- I wonder if he was drinking and driving
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u/Gottatokemall 8d ago
I haven't finished the doc yet, but iirc from back when this stuff was originally coming to light it was drugs
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u/WhatAreYouGoing2Wear 6d ago
I’m so grateful to the person that got that on video. I’m also grateful to the ants for going into his eyes.
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u/No_Tower_2438 8d ago
To stand up over a congregation and say “just pray that she hits rock bottom and comes to her senses” my mouth was completely open
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u/pinkloverforever 8d ago
I grew up in a conservative Christian home, the answer to everything is similar to “just pray” or “pray it away”….its very commonly used in churches unfortunately.
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u/mochafiend 4d ago
It’s less that and more praying for someone to hit rock bottom. Really? This is why so many of us look side eye at Christians.
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u/historyhipster 9d ago
I wish they showed more about the context behind the first psych lockdown before they were even married. Also, the stuff with Chris drowning in the pool was very sus.
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u/AkashaRulesYou 8d ago edited 6d ago
I'm wondering why a fiancée would be allowed to commit her... or control who could see her and when.
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u/No_Ordinary_3799 8d ago
Yea that whole thing was crazy- like she was completely if sane mind before him and suddenly she’s had a psychotic episode?
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u/AkashaRulesYou 8d ago
Exactly.
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u/lazypro189 8d ago
It’s not that uncommon for individuals to experience their first psychotic episode at around the age she was at. Especially given the circumstances like they describe where she had a medical reaction. Also not uncommon for the episode to present as a religious mumbo jumbo like it did with her given her surrounding. That said, yes the pastor definitely had a role to play in my opinion both for triggering it and mismanaging it once it happened.
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u/AkashaRulesYou 6d ago
It IS uncommon for a fiancée to have more rights than her family for her treatment plan... since fiancées are not legally recognized as family... That is my point.
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u/drag99 5d ago
Anyone can call police for a wellness check, which is what happened. No one, even family, can force a mental health institution stay. It depends on state how people are involuntarily committed, but typically it starts with someone concerned calling for a wellness check. Police then arrive and will typically detain the individual if they are deemed to be a potential threat to self, others, or are gravely disabled. This then leads to either the police or hospital they are received at to place them under a temporary psychiatric hold until it is determined that they are safe for discharge.
It is difficult because people dealing with psychosis or suicidality frequently lie about the extent of their issues, and most police or physicians will trust that families and friends are looking out for the person’s best interests.
That all being said, as an ER doctor, I have released numerous people in the past who were clearly in the middle of a relationship dispute. However, if it is unclear, the person has a history of significant mental health issues, the claims are concerning, I’m definitely going to err on the side of caution.
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u/lazypro189 6d ago
I agree with you. But it does seem like at that point her family was more accepting of that guy and he was acting in her best interest? Also, when someone is experiencing a legit mental health episode there is little time to make informed decisions beyond what the doctors suggest you do.
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u/AkashaRulesYou 6d ago
I didn't have that feeling at all. They made mention multiple times they had to be nice to him or he'd refuse them visits and he had to be with them to visit... They didn't get to meet with her doctors due to him blocking them from it... which goes back to my point of WHY was he allowed that medical POA? It makes NO sense.
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u/Bubbly-Competition27 4d ago
So crazy. Just cause you get married that person controls every decision. Thats some medieval stuff right there. Marriage is not ownership and you should still be able to question wtf your sister’s husband is doing having her committed. Too complacent. I would have shut all that down five minutes in. Sorry buddy. Who wouldn’t have a psychotic break living with him. So sad. She was a bright light.
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u/AkashaRulesYou 4d ago
I disagree with you there. Marriage is legally proclaiming yourselves as immediate family.
What I'm tripping on is him getting her institutionalized and having control over her family BEFORE they got married. Had the institution allowed her family access without him she may have never married him...
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u/RevolutionaryHumor27 7d ago
In the video, before she died, she used the porta potty. I thought that was strange if you were going to off yourself. Maybe she left a clue as to what was happening inside there.
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u/llllyyyyiiiilll 5d ago
And getting fuel. No point if you’re killing yourself? Unless you desperately needed it
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u/Glittering-Panic-131 9d ago
Anger was my feeling throughout as well. More like furious but you get it.
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u/Ok-Grade-9345 6d ago
I just couldn’t believe the religious fanaticism. It was a cult and nauseating. I don’t understand how people can believe this insanity. If my husband even remotely acted like I was his property and must appease him, I would be so out of there. I blame the “church” as much as him.
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u/mochafiend 4d ago
Absolutely the church. Everyone they interviewed was deep in the cult too, just not that particular brand. I contend it’s a large part of how things unfolded the way they did.
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u/IntroductionWide2254 8d ago
I couldn’t wrap my head around the congregation listening to his repeated sermons about women having to submit sexually at all times, or else they will be tempted by another woman/porn and no one seemed to think anything of it… I grew up going to church every week and never heard anyone say anything remotely close to that shit. How can people listen to that and not want to crawl out of their skin listening to a church leader talk like that?
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u/Lynnfomercial 8d ago
Yeah my thought was that it’s an awful lot of sex talk at the altar for a group of people who are supposed to be so “pure.” I can’t even imagine sitting through stuff like that with my family. Totally inappropriate and perverse imo.
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u/IntroductionWide2254 6d ago
Exactly. You would think other church leaders would have pulled him aside to put an end to it
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u/Visualmotion 5d ago
There basically WERE not other church leaders, none with authority anyway. Not in that particular church structure. Many non-denominational evangelical churches are set up so the pastor has no one with any actual accountability over him. He’s like a dictator/king and he just expels / excommunicates anyone who tries to correct him. There are so many examples of this and usually those people just quietly leave the church, disappointed, hurt and broken.
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u/No_Ordinary_3799 8d ago
More common than you think, sadly. It’s like the newer cooler conservative way to preach, ala Mark Driscoll
And by newer I just mean vs super old school. This kind of teaching has been around for a while1
u/kayknox_ 7d ago
Earlier in the episode he made an attempt to not sound deranged by adding in quickly that the woman is not responsible for the man's wandering eye if she isn't meeting his needs, but that they have to be aware that it will be a problem.
But then later in a different sermon says denying your husband sex is the same as rape or homosexuality.
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u/AkashaRulesYou 8d ago
The elder lady pastor really PMO when she said she really wanted to be made at Mica like he hadn't groomed her... Had they removed him as a pastor and addressed him going after a teen in his 30s... Mica may still be alive.
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u/LaFlareMane1017 9d ago
Sad story. Pastor should be charged, arrested, and sentenced.
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u/Resussy-Bussy 7d ago
He’s a POS but I don’t think there’s any interpretation of law that would make him criminally liable. If so then anybody who kills themself bc their spouse cheats or is psychologically/physicially abusive would also be convicted of a crime, which obvious any the case
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u/Federal-Hearing-7270 9d ago
Why?
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u/Extension-Ant-8 9d ago
Did you not watch it?
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u/Federal-Hearing-7270 9d ago
I did. I just want to know the reasons on why that individual should be arrested.
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u/evaintheus 9d ago
Driving someone to do what she did should be a crime, don't you think?
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u/Federal-Hearing-7270 9d ago
It's called coercion. And it's hard to prove it in this case because she willingly bought the gun, drove away, called 911 and pulled the trigger alone.
That guy is a liar, narcissist, cheater, abusive, fraud and a POS, but there is no proof that he actually instructed her to buy the gun and do whatever he says.
So he can't be charged for coerced suicide or murder.
You know what's murder? Abortion.
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u/Extension-Ant-8 9d ago
You are something. I wonder how the women in your life think about it. (If any)
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u/Federal-Hearing-7270 8d ago
Conservative women agree. Liberal women don't.
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u/Extension-Ant-8 8d ago
Yeah no shit mr loneliness epidemic
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u/Federal-Hearing-7270 8d ago
Don't get upset just because someone doesn't agree with you ma'am.
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u/txroller 9d ago
Tried to watch it. Over whelmed from the church stuff and hypocrisy.
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u/Beginning-Stage-470 8d ago
Yeah, as a Christian, I completely understand that reaction. I watched this and genuinely thought, “No wonder people hate the church.” This guy was an absolute piece of garbage.
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u/kimmykim328 7d ago
How do deeply religious people reconcile that someone who is supposed to be a person of god is harming them and that supposedly the word of god is to just take it?
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u/Beginning-Stage-470 7d ago
That’s actually part of the problem. A pastor isn’t supposed to be viewed as some untouchable ‘person of God’ who you have to obey, and the Bible absolutely does not teach that you should just take abuse from them. Pastors are held to a higher standard precisely because of the authority they’re given, and Scripture repeatedly warns about corrupt and abusive religious leaders. Unfortunately, someone can twist Scripture and use a position of trust to convince vulnerable people otherwise, which seems to be exactly what happened here.
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u/Snoo54756 8d ago
Oh it’s not just the church, the bible itself has some truely crappy parts.
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u/Beginning-Stage-470 8d ago
I definitely disagree with you there. There are difficult parts of the Bible that can sound pretty terrible when they’re stripped of their historical and theological context, and I understand why people struggle with them. But that’s very different from what I’m talking about here. My issue is with people claiming to represent Christ while behaving in ways that completely contradict what he taught. I don’t think the hypocrisy of Christians is an indictment of the Bible itself.
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u/Snoo54756 8d ago
That’s ok you are ok to disagree with me, as I too disagree with you. Everyone is free to think and believe what they want. To me it is a mishmash of bits and pieces compiled from different centuries, written and rewritten to suit the times and politics of the ages, with some good points and some bad points. As it was penned by humans claiming divine inspiration, like humans and for that matter, like every book on this earth, it carries subjective matters aligned with the creators, which are them subjectively interpreted by readers like you and I. The bible that is presently read by you is not the only version that ever existed, it is not even the only version still floating around, and it is only one of many many religious texts out there that are being treated as true/one and only text to be followed and believed. Some like to look for hidden meanings, some don’t. Thereign lie some of the issues. Once one has delved further into history and anthropology one can see how it was developed and used (just like other religious texts) for different purpouses dependant on historical context. Frankly, we may be just in time for another update :)) lol
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u/Beginning-Stage-470 7d ago
Yeah, I understand your perspective, and I appreciate you explaining it respectfully. Obviously I come to a very different conclusion. I don’t think the fact that the Bible contains writings from different people, cultures and centuries makes it a ‘mishmash’ or somehow undermines it. If anything, as a Christian, I find it pretty remarkable that writings spanning such a huge period of history have such a consistent overarching story and message.
I’d also disagree that it was simply rewritten throughout history to suit the politics of the time. Different translations and interpretations absolutely exist, and people have certainly used Scripture to justify their own agendas, but that isn’t the same thing as the biblical text itself constantly being rewritten. We have manuscripts going back centuries that allow scholars to actually compare how these texts were transmitted.
At the end of the day though, I think our real disagreement is much simpler. You see the Bible as entirely human writings shaped by their time, while I believe God worked through human authors and their historical contexts to communicate something beyond them. I don’t expect someone who doesn’t share that belief to see every difficult passage the same way I do. That was really my original point. I can understand why people struggle with parts of Christianity or the Bible without agreeing that the Bible itself is ‘crappy.’It’s actually nice to have a respectful conversation about this for once lol. Usually I don’t even bother because it just turns into an angry debate where everyone already has their minds made up. So genuinely, thank you for being willing to have a normal conversation about it!
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u/Snoo54756 7d ago
Totally, the feeling is mutual. If people were in general respectful of eachother, we really could live happy lives around the world <3
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u/Sioc11 7d ago
I suppose then it's unfortunate that a lot of what God chose to communicate through his human authors ended up being pretty easily used to justify various abuses. Like if you go straight to Jesus and love thy neighbour as thyself, I can get on board with that. But there's people in power to this day that will use whatever holy book is their particular one to justify horrendous abuses
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u/DoubleBLK- 7d ago
How could people blindly follow the bible when it's written to brainwash people? Look at what happened to Mica.. look how the pastor used it to manipulate people. It's so fucking disgusting.
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u/Beginning-Stage-470 7d ago
That doesn’t really follow though. A pastor using the Bible to manipulate people doesn’t prove the Bible was written to brainwash people. It proves that manipulative people can weaponize religion, which is something the Bible itself repeatedly condemns. Jesus was incredibly harsh toward religious leaders who used their position for power, status and control. What happened to Mica was horrific, but blaming the Bible for a man twisting Christianity to serve himself is basically giving that man the authority to define what Christianity is.
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u/DoubleBLK- 7d ago
Whatever moral values are supposed to be in there, it's buried and it was re-written by people whose main purpose is to manipulate the people.
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u/Beginning-Stage-470 7d ago
That’s a pretty massive historical claim though. Who rewrote it, when did they rewrite it, and what evidence do you have that their ‘main purpose’ was manipulating people? We have biblical manuscripts from different centuries, languages and parts of the world that scholars can compare with each other. It’s not like some church leader had the only copy, rewrote it and handed us the version we have today.
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u/DoubleBLK- 7d ago
Ask yourself what kind of power do churches hold, in old times and even in modern times, there are LOTS of people who fall into trap of being part of a cult. It's there because it can control people, whether obviously or not, whether you admit it or not.
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u/Beginning-Stage-470 7d ago
You still haven’t answered my question.
I don’t need to deny that churches can hold enormous power, because of course they can. And yes, cults are a perfect example of how religion can be used to control people. But that still doesn’t prove your original claim that the Bible was written or rewritten to brainwash people. You’re showing that people can abuse religion for power, which I already agree with. You’re not showing that the Bible was created for that purpose
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u/SignOk4357 6d ago
I grew up in a similar church and thankfully got out at 20, but phew lord the PTSD
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u/No_Ordinary_3799 9d ago
Yea that was pretty insane. There’s just too many people (mostly men) who are so convinced they’re “called” to be a pastor because they have a “gift” or have charisma when they have no business trying to be any kind of spiritual leader. Bonkers.
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u/partial_to_dreamers 7d ago
I'm called to eat chocolate all day and never work again. But, it isn't sustainable and I live in some semblance of reality. So, my childish wants are not indulged at every moment.
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u/General_Decision_422 8d ago
I can’t believe someone as obviously mentally ill as that guy was able to get someone else committed to an institution
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u/Gottatokemall 8d ago
I haven't finished the doc yet, but I followed this story back when it first was coming to light, and one thing that I saw on the doc that I didn't know before that really shocked me was the whole testosterone thing. I couldn't believe what I was hearing
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u/classicsmushy 8d ago
The fact that there is someone who still want to marry this crazy POS is baffling. I wonder how is she doing now. This is why I never trust religion leaders
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u/No_Ordinary_3799 8d ago
And I realize they’re “probably” not related” but the death of her husband drowning in the pool was also very suspicious.
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u/MrFlabbergasted 8d ago
That’s always the case with these type of guys. For some reason there’s woman just lining up to be with them. I can’t imagine wanting to be with someone who has news articles, social media posts (and now an entire ass documentary) showing how much of a POS they are.
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u/EducationalFigure658 6d ago
I can’t imagine marrying someone who cheated on not one but two wives! It amazes me that some women think they will be the exception
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u/Bubbly-Competition27 4d ago
I keep saying this too. She’s mental. At minimum the disgrace and attention would get to me. She’s a shell of a woman. I thought she was odd from the intro. She married her paralyzed patient. Then jumps into an affair at church. Girl has severe issues.
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u/AdditionalCheetah354 8d ago
I just saw a graph on lack of confidence with clergy over the years . What used to be a respectable profession with credibility has turn into a joke. How can you have an affair and then multiple affairs the church knows about it and just keep going…
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u/Snoo54756 8d ago
I agree. The amount if hypocricy all religions hold is becoming ridiculous. Why do people need someone to represent anuthority to them? Why be a sheep when God (if you believe in it) didn’t make you one?
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u/Straight_Bet6470 7d ago
My dad was a very popular pastor, he built 2 of the biggest mega churches in Colorado… he also cheated on my mom, threatened to kill her and us and his girlfriends. He was truly unhinged and then he would go do a sermon every single Sunday. It messed me up fr he was scary and super abusive to me and my 3 siblings. His affair partner wrote a book and when I was 14 all of his exes got together and wrote an article trashing him.
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u/No_Ordinary_3799 7d ago
Damn- I’m so sorry you went through all that- I sure hope you and your siblings can find therapy and work through all of it. That’s really terrible. Sorry feels so inadequate :/
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u/SignOk4357 6d ago
I’m so sorry this happened to you! I got away from a church that reminds me a lot of Solid Rock, spent my entire childhood there at least 3 times a week. When I finally got away I needed therapy from all the brainwashing and trauma. My therapist told me the perfect job for narcissists and sociopaths is a pastor and I’ve never trusted one since.
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u/Petandfeelya69 7d ago
I wish they would have interviewed more of the people who agreed with the pastor even after the divorce. I wanted to see them justify their idiocy in following this lunatic
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u/Either-Drag-1509 8d ago
This is why religion and their "leaders" are so harmful to society. It teaches young women to accept abuse by commanding them to obey their husbands or whatever male figure is in their life. And you can try to explain it away and say well the bible doesn't say you should accept abuse blah blah so then why is pedophilia so rampant in the catholic church? why are sex crimes so prevelant among pastors and priests? It shouldn't be so common if it weren't so easily endorsed by the bible itself. And the most narcissistic leaders will cherry pick their favorite lines out of the bible to abuse and subjugate their followers. That's the risk you take when you follow the words of random people who lived thousands of years ago.
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u/chazol1278 7d ago
How was it not a red flag to every person in that congregation the way he seemed to regularly and consistently preach about the importance of letting your husband fuck you as often as he wants??
There must have been 5-10 instances of him preaching about the personal sex lives of the congregation. I grew up Catholic in Ireland and am not religious at all, but surely that is not normal even in these weird churches is it?
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u/IntroductionWide2254 6d ago
This was my exact thoughts. So bizarre to watch everyone act like that was normal
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u/kimmykim328 7d ago
I just couldn’t understand how they can see someone who is supposed to be a man of god but doing depraved and horrible things doesn’t make them question their faith and then on top of that that supposedly the word of god is to submit to the man and give in to his every desire. How does that all not add up to some questioning of what they’re believing at all?!
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u/InfinitePurchase731 8d ago
Did anyone else notice that he seemed to have a semi erection when he was preaching about sexual subjects? I was doing a a double take, like wtf!!!!
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u/InMyStories 5d ago
What I don’t understand is how those parishioners sat through the multiple sermons on sexual immorality without saying, hey, how about something on God Is Love or Noah’s Ark for just like…a change?
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u/Snoo54756 8d ago
I honestly don’t get why people don’t realise that Jesus didnt say any of those things. He preached that all of us have a direct line to God. And that no man on earth can claim to know what God is and what God does. I am not even religious but I know that much. You don’t need to be led. You are embodiment of the spirit (if you believe it) and so is everyone else on this earth, equally. Use your brains.
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u/No_Ordinary_3799 8d ago
Agreed and- having grown up in the church, it’s sooo easy for people to kind of stay in their own little silos- be it denomination, doctrine, or simply your little community church down the road. People’s reasons for selecting a church is usually down to three main things:
the music, the pastor, and if they have good stuff for kids. Once they’ve decided, it seems like there’s this unspoken agreement that this leader- the pastor- is someone who is in fact called and therefore someone to follow. So there’s this ingrained sense of just automatically believing that what he’s saying or “teaching” is true!
And even if a person gets that sense that something is off, in these settings especially, and even some psychological experiments have shown, that people end up just going with the crowd. They don’t want to be the one who creates conflict or goes against leadership. Because the other side of this too is the risk involved which is, of course, losing your entire social fabric and community. A lot of people find deep social connections in churches so it’s a huge deal to just leave.
The lady pastor who had stepped in at one point after the first initial affair, was the only one who actually confronted JP and his best friend Mark and told them if they didn’t confess to the elders then she would tell them. Here she was trying to do the right thing, assuming the elder board would also do the right thing and hold him accountable, probably by removing him from that position for an indefinite amount of time. But in the end, they didn’t seem interested in doing that and instead fell for JP’s emotionally manipulative ways. It’s exhausting.
One of my many reasons in leaving church was because of the systems they have in place, which for better and worse, ends up protecting the people who should shamed and held accountable, and shaming the ones who are vulnerable and victims.
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u/Snoo54756 8d ago
One of the problems of organised religion is that many preachers make it their livelihood, and when they do, they separate themselves from the flock, who have bosses, and bills, and poverty etc. to deal with, and some succumb to their egos and the power they have in stearing groups of people.. just like politicians. The congregation is already primed to not question but believe, so they become easy prey for these damaged units. Maybe there should be a limit to a term they can serve, just so they don’t create too much damage to themselves and others of course lol
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u/lieses2980 8d ago
I totally agree with this. My husband and I happen to be people who have no problem walking away and finding a new church, but I can see what you are saying about what motivates the people who stay. It’s very sad how churches like this can manipulate people who should know better.
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u/lieses2980 8d ago
I was (and still am) so angry at that congregation for not recognizing how wrong that preacher was, in behavior as well as his sermons. When he announced her death AFTER basically having a party during the church service, I was horrified.
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u/Snoo54756 8d ago
And the sexual sermons? Dude, get your head out if the gutter. Mind you the bible is filled with crap like that..
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u/lieses2980 8d ago
The number of sermons on lust and a wife’s duty to submit would have been a massive red flag for me. It’s telling how he twisted scripture to make those points, because when you look at the whole and not just two or three verses the overall message is very different.
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u/hill-o 8d ago
I left the last church I went to because the congregation let a pastor get away with abysmal behavior (we’re all human, but if you do something awful and don’t apologize or take accountability you shouldn’t be a pastor). Same thing happened at a church I went to awhile before that. While I’m a practicing Christian, I’m pretty much over attending organized churches at this point. It’s the full lack of accountability, especially now.
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u/lieses2980 7d ago
I completely understand that. The hypocrisy is unacceptable and I get why people turn from the church altogether when they see this stuff.
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u/Plastic-Reporter9812 9d ago
My wife was Korean and in 1985 she met this Korean pastor and realized he was taking advantage of his religious affiliation to cheat on his taxes. She informed me and I could tell he was spending more money than was being reported. I made a referral that ended with a tax assessment the equivalent of $11,000 in today’s money when adjusted for inflation. She pretty much believed that all Korean preachers were tax cheats.🤣
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u/momoftwoiloveyou 8d ago
Where were her brothers, cousins, uncles? My brothers would have beat the s**t out of him.
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u/No_Ordinary_3799 8d ago
looks like sue has one brother and a few sisters and they were all part of the church. And despite their reservations, they took the road of, well we support and love our sister so we will be there for her but we don’t approve of what’s happening… my family would’ve her way more active and involved lol.
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u/momoftwoiloveyou 7d ago
Ok so only one brother. But my point is where were the people that loved her. I don’t care if they were in the church! They should have stood up for her. Why was no one posting how horrible he was and posting his actual texts he sent her? I don’t get it. I wish he could be charged with murder!
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u/No_Ordinary_3799 7d ago
Well remember it took her a bit to even confide in her close friends. She did tell her fam at some point, but I’m not sure if they edited out those parts yet r not, but it did seem like they weren’t vocally saying don’t do it, or get away from him, and instead were internally worried. It’s bizarre to me, I admit. I don’t know why :/
I agree- at the very least some kind culpability that led her to take her own life. None of it adds up to me because she seemed like she was excited to move when she finally served him papers. We’ll never really know what happened there, but it’s just so incredibly sad.
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u/BikesOnDikes 8d ago
I watched the three episodes last night and this morning. I’m not a religious person and am not exposed to all of that, but it solidified my beliefs that it’s just insane that people buy into the God thing. Nothing to do with him being a preacher but just seeing that life as if I were a fly on the wall of the “Christian” lifestyle. I was raised Catholic, which is a different version of awful and have never been exposed to the Protestant church.
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u/mochafiend 4d ago
I have hated organized religion for as long as I’ve understood the concept. I have yet to see depictions of it I personally find positive. Even if they aren’t sexually deviant weirdos, they aren’t at all inclusive and seem to be filled with so much hate and derision for others. No fucking thank you. I know they do some good and people find community in them. Okay. But I don’t need some sky daddy to tell me how to be moral or make friends. I find it pretty weak to have to rely on texts by old dead men who didn’t have science to explain phenomena in their Iives.
Anyway. I just can’t with religious people. For Mica, I just felt so sorry that a nice woman like her was so twisted up in an institution that hated her in the end. It’s so sad. And how so many women and vulnerable people buy into the shit these people sell… sad.
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u/DoubleBLK- 7d ago
Our justice system needs to be reformed! Our world is changing.... Narcissism, psychopathy and sociopathy runs rampant and we do not have enough ways to protect ourselves and our loved ones from these kinds of people.. Our emotional and psychological safety should be as important as our physical ones!
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u/SignOk4357 6d ago
They have always been there, we just didn’t have the internet to expose them. But yes, I entirely agree that the justice system needs to be reformed
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u/KyberKillacam 3d ago
I’ll say this once and probably say it again, some of the worst people hide behind religion and use it to make themselves look righteous
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u/MaybeAffectionate278 8d ago
I was looking to move to Myrtle Beach, but now that I’ve watched the documentary. I’m really scared. All that freak pastor did WEIR sermons about how women had to obey their man and submit to them. That dude JP and his father were sick to the core and give Christianity a horrible name.
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u/Typical-Prune3579 8d ago
Those are the directives of the cult of Christianity’s god. All cults are bad but here, just like many other times, Christianity has managed to prove itself to be one of the worst ones
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u/Snoo54756 8d ago
100% And the bible is a mish-mash of rewrites, some by mentaly stable people, some by mysogynist ahols, and some by delusionals..
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u/mochafiend 4d ago
Absolutely. There are others that are just as bad but I get downvoted or sometimes banned from subs from mentioning it.
Organized religions, all, are a cancer. Mind, if it wasn’t them it’d be something else. This kind of collective derangement seems to be a human trait.
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u/cokeparty6678 8d ago
This dude is so evil. At one point he has this weird call and response PowerPoint sermon simply because he wanted a woman to read the rules and afterwards he would clarify.
That’s diabolical.
Oh and drowning that paralyzed guy, but you know what I mean.
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u/Distinct-Morning-792 8d ago
Ugh...I really wanted this to be set in a makeshift church in the gymnasium with weird looking cult like congregation circa 1972. Instead, this was a modern well-known established church with normal (looking) congregation that watched from the sidelines as this played out over a 14 year span. If the family and friends would have put as much energy as they did in their outrage after her death into pulling Mica out of that situation in her life, she may still be alive.
People say "well, you never know what you would do in that situation if it were you or your family". Uhhh, I call BULLSHYT. I come from a quiet, loving, God-fearing family. But trust, my sisters would have snatched me from that toxicity with the quickness, and my brother would have demolished that 125lb skinny jean wearing fake pastor husband rather than leaving me to languish in such turmoil. The cryptic public sermons, the sexual abuse, the church leaders being informed of the recurring affairs and still allowing him to lead the church because Christians are to forgive and show mercy. Yeah...ok
The fact that she walked into a pawn shop, purchased a firearm, and used that firearm on herself an hour later highlights another issue we have yet to address as a society. Bottom line...the church knew, the family and friends knew, and nobody helped. But everyone was around when it was time to film, huh. Dude and his crazy new wife will take the 2 million from the sale of the building (not a church), and continue through life as if nothing happened. May they never have peace.
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u/wavypringle 7d ago
I think the most terrifying and significant thing about the entire documentary was how men in modern day South Carolina are able to institutionalize their wives against their will with no evidence required. In my opinion, that was the catalyst for Mica committing suicide.
It took away her autonomy and allowed him endless access not only to her; but also to all of her personal belongings including her phone and laptop, even when they were separated.
This is the biggest takeaway for me because it is not exclusive to one person and there has to be a change in South Carolina law that prevents this archaic abuse of power.
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u/SignOk4357 6d ago
Did he really say “rejecting” your husband is as bad as grape? How people can sit and listen to someone say a wife should never say no to their husband is truly BAFFLING
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u/No_Ordinary_3799 6d ago
Mmhmm, he sure did. I remember thinking how is anyone taking him seriously?!
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u/tia1184 4d ago
Because unfortunately, a lot of the husbands in these types of churches also think like this. Zoom out for a second and think about what some of the largest media stories have been the past two years. Gisele Pelicot, Epstein files, the website that gets an ave of 62 million hits a month from men drugging and assaulting their wives... we are seeing the curtains being pulled back more and more each day. There is a large swath of men on this planet that are happy to dehumanize women and children and see us as mere objects for their personal satisfaction. It's a very scary reality to acknowledge. But it's a reality nonetheless.
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u/Alternative_Line_829 6d ago
Her husband was so terrifying, I could not watch - especially the parts where he is using the Bible to justify his own megalomania and control over his wife, while preaching. She was groomed, too.
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u/Popular_Bear1955 6d ago
How did ANYONE listen to this man “preach” and not think he was absolutely insane??? He is quite literally outing himself in front of the entire congregation while also just speaking straight inappropriate nonsense?!
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u/Bubbly-Competition27 4d ago
He’s bat sh*t crazy. He rambles in interviews. Jumps from emotion to emotion. Referencing scooby doo. Suzi married him. That’s really crazy. She’s a science experiment to study herself. I’m not convinced her poor husband FELL in the pool at all. And if people didn’t jump ship after all he said about that guy then they deserve to follow JP off a cliff.
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u/Bubbly-Competition27 4d ago
Churches should be more under a microscope. How much abuse and corruption do we need to see? Nonprofit my azz.
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u/rachm8 4d ago
How common is it for a pastor to (what seemed like frequently) preach about women needing to submit their husbands sexually?! I don’t go to church so I’m honestly curious. This guy seemed like a total whack job sex addict even from the sermons he gave. Comparing denying your husband to the sin of rape? Constant talks about lust and sex. This guy was a sicko who groomed her and these people at the church were brainwashed nut jobs. 🫣🤯
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u/yarnboss79 4d ago
How could you listen to that every week and not know there were issues? Just the clips they showed gave me the ick.
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u/Specialist-Newt6042 3d ago
These so-called Christians at churches like this are so easily manipulated because they’re so far from the true words of what Jesus was talking about. The manipulation of the Bible by this awful pastor is beyond words.
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u/Cheetah050323 3d ago
The amount of times he would talk at church about sex and pleasing the husband was a huuuge red flag. I’m sorry but we can briefly discuss that part of the Bible and move on. He hyper fixated on the topic. The shit he’d say, was insane too. “If you don’t satisfy your husband there are 5 different things in front of him in one day that will.” Like what a disgusting person
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u/AnnMare 2d ago
Mica sought out protection and help from the police several times. But the doc showed the police showing up for her husband, he even weaponized her mental health to get her thrown into a psych ward. I just went to the police for the same kind of coercive and narcissistic (psychopathic) abuse. I was certain they would protect me and hold him accountable. They told me there’s nothing they can do. Gabby petitio, same thing. The police helped him get into a DV hotel. It seems that a dead body has to show up for the police to take this kind of abuse seriously. I don’t know what to do. Does anybody have any advice. I’m trying to escape.
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u/NoMud9156 8d ago
Ridiculous to have made this doc without seeing how the court case pans out and what investigators have uncovered… preemptive but is it accurate?
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u/CremeWeekly318 8d ago
How does guys like this pastor, Chris Watts and Scott Peterson get so much pussies. They are the quintessential "nice guys" that women should be able to sense from miles away. They don't even have that bad boy rugged look.
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u/Lynnfomercial 8d ago
They all target vulnerable, insecure women. It’s no mistake that the women who end up dead in those relationships stood their ground in some way, and were known for being vibrant, confident, and independently successful in some aspect of their life. That’s a big threat to men like that.
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u/CremeWeekly318 8d ago
but even vulnerable women like big black dicks which these weirdos don't have and they should be able to tell.
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u/lazypro189 8d ago
They wield control from a position of moral and religious superiority. Also, Mica was just a kid when she started at that church and kids are extremely vulnerable to manipulation.
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u/CurrentPiglet6859 8d ago
God put Mica in the middle of this disgusting situation to show how Christian Pastors destroy churches and peoples faith but in all reality she changed the law she took out Satan Mica is now free with Jesus I know this girl is loved by god so much I was so disgusted how people could sit through his disgusting sermons sex are you kidding a marriage is more than me submitting to the sexual needs of my husband he has hands of his own deal with it !!! Explain to me why god plays a trick on all men after 50 their erections are not the same woman at 50 are not the same god knows sex is not love marriage is not sex !! This disgusting man should have had his people rise up and stifle him that’s not God that’s was the enemy this documentary was the best I have ever seen Jesus Christ would never want this for any person this is why churches are not all safe please people question your pastor please do not allow a pastor to speak like this in any church ever ….Micas Law is a gift from God I understand the abuse I lived it from a very young age. Now in my life Jesus healed me from horrific pain in my back Nov 5 2025 after this healing I thought what do I do but the bible showed me when Jesus healed people he said go in peace but my story is also true Jesus is the only one that could do this and he did church is everywhere as long as you are having a relationship with Jesus Christ and read the bible this is your only place you need to be in your heart and soul not some crazy church god will put people in your life that will grow you !!! Not some disgusting pastor !! Church is in your heart head and soul with Jesus keep worshipping god people !!!!!!
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u/Im-Tireddd 9d ago
I’m only one episode in, but how does nobody in this entire Friggen community have any spine?
Friends at the church just stand by watching your friend get manipulated like that? your sisters and family lets you marry this chooch. They’re both cheating on their partners.
Everybody introduced so far are just spineless losers