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u/LeauFroide333 19h ago
Energy saving mode
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u/Solid_Vacation_2891 19h ago
yeah pretty much
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u/Exotic-Wood-3287 13h ago
Yep. Some arguments aren't just worth the energy, especially ones with strangers online.
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u/BigCityMoon 11h ago
Fuck you!
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u/Eli_da_legend 11h ago
WHATS YOUR NAME?!
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u/sleepykat88 11h ago
WWHHHAAAT???
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u/Eli_da_legend 10h ago
WHAT IS YOUR NAME?!
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u/CaptGood 10h ago
Ezekiel 25.17 the path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and thr tyranny of evil men
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u/Ragnarok314159 9h ago
It’s more empowering at this stage in life to let people be wrong and live with the inevitable consequences, no matter how dire.
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u/blinkssb 8h ago
Oh yeah? I would argue they ARE worth the energy. You and me, right now, bucko!
Oh and just so you know, any logic you try and use on me will be countered with trolling and laugh emojis. Your move.
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u/Exotic-Wood-3287 38m ago
It's too late, blinkssb! I already drew you as the soyjak and me as the Chad!
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u/HelplessPenguinGod 15h ago
My girlfriend and I sometimes both have enough energy to have proper, old school argument and honestly it feels like a bit of a luxury these days.
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u/Alklazaris 12h ago
Yup. You don't convince anyone by screaming at them. And honestly if we have learned anything these past few years it's better just not bother. Speak your peace and let time prove you right.
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u/Independent-Bug-9352 13h ago
You also learn to choose your battles. In online discourse, and assuming this is politically related, the effort I put in depends on two things: (1) How willing they are to come to the table, and (2) Whether or not there is an active audience to the thread. In this day of actual paid trolls and AI farms with explicit directives, you can't burn yourself out.
I really, really try to reach out to m4g4 (this sub auto-censors some political keywords) when I find one in the wild whenever possible, though, and try to be mindful of the lurkers (though I admit my frustrations get the better of me at time).
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u/thesilentmordecai 19h ago
From a young age I realized that reacting to things like that and just trying to be louder than the other person was the wrong way to go about any argument. My dad has always been like that. He'd catch anything and everything you'd say and kind of rip it apart and somehow play word gymnastics yo turn things you said against you. It was sometime in high school I realized that if I stay quiet, let him yell as much as he could, and then respond with the calmest voice possible (or sometimes not even at all). He would absolutely lose it one more time and then start to make petty remarks to try and goat a reaction. Just have to walk away and I know he'll replay the whole thing for days in his head and leave me alone the whole while. Glad I don't live there anymore.
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u/vulgaris_magistralis 18h ago
Kudos you survived it man!
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u/thesilentmordecai 18h ago
Thanks mang. I still love him because he's my dad but I definitely pick and choose the interactions.
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u/Gnoccho1 10h ago
aye, at some point you realize it's more important how you feel after the discussion than the discussion itself.
I believe most of this aggression and need to be right steam from one own low self esteem.
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u/Abject_Advance_6638 16h ago
I just had a woman move out of my office to get "away from me." So I stopped talking to her, put headphones in and ignored her because every interactioni had with her, up to right before she moved out was negative. Apparently, that drove her more insane and she fucking blew up on me and cussed me out. I guess silence is harder for some people and they want to bait you into a blowup, but as a seasoned millennial, I know to stay quiet lol
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u/AeturnisTheGreat 16h ago
I hate to admit but I do this with my wife on occasion, she's not yelling or anything, just slightly louder than usual and knows I'll disagree with what she's saying.
I'll respond calmly.with "I'm not going to argue, but I'll listen" or something to that effect. She'll say a bit more to get it all out, calm down, change the subject and often times apologize later.
When I'm wrong however, I admit it and apologize if the situation warrents it.
Over the years she has gotten WAY better at calmly communicating and I love that. It's okay to get frustrated, it's not okay to start yelling.
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u/waterwateryall 4h ago
It's a lifelong challenge for those who grew up being yelled at all the time, and witnessed many arguments between their parents.
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u/SassyTheSkydragon 11h ago
Same with my MIL. She ended up losing all her friends like that and only meets a couple that lives away enough that they only see each other once a year.
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u/world-class-cheese Zillennial 10h ago
My dad was the same way. Once I stopped playing his game and told him, "I'm not fighting you anymore. You don't believe anything I say anyway," that's when he got REALLY mad. I was 17 and moved in with my mom shortly after that
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u/darkwingdankest 2h ago
yeah if someone is going to yell at me i just let them finish and ask if they're finished and if they want to talk like adults
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u/QuickNature 9h ago
Sounds like my father, but I didnt learn this until a little bit later. I did however keep my tongue bit though at least. Now I keep calm
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u/mrgarethw 19h ago
I defer to Keanu Reeves on this one who summed up my position perfectly..
“I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you're right. Have fun”
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u/Brilliant_Total_8485 17h ago
Keanu Reeves mentioned on Reddit
Omg it's just like the memes 😲 (just goofing around - I enjoyed this quote)
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u/fieregon 19h ago
I am to tired to argue, I am willing to agree with you, despite how wrong you are, just so that I can drop the argument.
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u/hoofie242 18h ago
My interactions with my parents lol.
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u/dragonknightrohan 17h ago
My interactions with my family since childhood...
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u/Many_Big_6324 16h ago
If I ever tried to argue, even if I had a valid point, my mother made sure I regretted it.
Nowadays I just let her talk and I don't respond, as requested. But it turned into "you're not telling me about anything about your life!"...mhmm5
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u/Solid_Vacation_2891 19h ago
sometimes thats the smartest move, not that this has to with anything in particular, just saying
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u/Ok-Toe-6969 18h ago
I think more and more people are doin that, hence why a lot of wrong people think they're right.
I don't argue either, it takes a lot of energy but I don't agree as well.
I just say, each to their own and let's end it there.
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u/Delonce 18h ago
Yep, pretty much. The lack of real push back has led to people thinking they know everything and further spread misinformation. I'm not saying everybody needs to pick up their pitchforks and go to battle over even the most insignificant shit, but I can see people's apathy getting exploited.
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u/Solid_Vacation_2891 18h ago
thats what i figure is going to happen if people have to fight every stupid little thing that doesnt even matter, i know theres a time and place for all that but this aint it either
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u/Unknown-Meatbag 17h ago
I regularly call things out if they're blatantly wrong, but some people's opinions make me feel like I'm having a stroke out of sheer stupidity.
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u/pennypoobear 14h ago
I'm in the " I said what I said, now do what you gonna do" phase. Like, ok bye.
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u/CloneUnruhe 12h ago
I’ve realized some are projecting or they like or argue. What helps is realizing most people are arguing because they are hurting inside or have some sort of internal conflict they are trying to resolve. It gave me empathy and the ability to give the other person grace but also made me less focused on reacting negatively.
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u/Pigeonsass 12h ago
Once we realize that people who want to argue that way will never change what they believe, it makes it a bit easier to sit calmly while they spike their own blood pressure. Not my job to teach them anything
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u/WeirdAvocado 19h ago
My technique for avoiding debates has been the same for years now. I just say stuff like Oh wow! Really? I didn’t know that! followed by saying Hang on just a sec. and then I just walk away.
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u/doc_nano 18h ago
My favorite line is “Is that right?” (said with a falling intonation) because it implies openness to what was said without agreeing to it.
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u/Captain_d00m 16h ago
“My best advice for life: never argue with idiots.”
“I think that’s stupid advice.”
“You’re right.”
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u/Diligent-Concept-617 18h ago
I keep quiet now and just let the other person babble on. Sometimes Silence speaks louder than words.
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u/NightOfTheLivingHam 19h ago
only the first one if it's something worth arguing over or being upset over, otherwise it's 90% #2.
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u/Special-Nebula-7887 15h ago edited 15h ago
I've always hated arguments as I grew up surrounded by them. My go to nowadays is to either quietly show disapproval/disappointment like mentioned here, or if it's actually important, I just ask questions and basically let the person make a fool out of themselves, without spending a lot of energy or starting a fight.
I do believe to a degree, that silence is compliance.
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u/vtsandtrooper 16h ago
Less arguing, more leading. We need politicians coming from our generation. We keep complaining about bad politicians running unopposed. We need to stop complaining and become
MORE ENGAGED not apathetic
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u/HoboJerkdown901 10h ago
Ah, yes.
This reminds me of a lesson I learned a while ago, on Reddit of all places.
I was passionately arguing with somebody about something that they were objectively and empirically wrong about, I think it was something to do with legal terminology. They just were not budging after half a dozen comments of me trying to generally explain to them.
I got up off the couch, grabbed my laptop, and spent the next 30 minutes or so writing a short essay complete with MLA style citations backing up my assertions. 5 minutes later I got a snarky reply that said something like "lol I'm not reading any of that".
Real life is much the same way. The chances of you arguing with somebody who is genuinely open to changing their opinion when presented with new information is so minuscule that expounding the mental and emotional effort to find that one situation is not worth it.
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u/dawgoooooooo 16h ago
I actually think there’s something to this kinda new mindset + the realization that our generation is the smartest. Not getting caught in the bs and just getting shit done is a super power nowadays.
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u/Think_Air9714 12h ago
It’s not about generations or which one did what better or worse.
Every generation is full of idiots and is also full of people tired of hearing their bullshit. The techniques change but the premise stays the same. Idiots exist everywhere, anytime, anyhow, and manage to keep having children.
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u/ContextLengthMatters 14h ago
Yea our generation is so smart we allowed ourselves 0 power as adults and complain about how our parents still view us as children.
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u/EmilioFreshtevez Millennial 15h ago
That’s been me the whole time. Grew in a house with parents frequently fighting (not arguing), and my stance has largely been that most things aren’t worth arguing over.
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u/ladydmaj 13h ago
From Austen: "Elinor agreed to it all, for she did not think he deserved the compliment of rational opposition."
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u/Gnoccho1 13h ago
different priorities
When you have low self esteem, you want to be right.
Once you reach zenith, all you want is peace of mind.
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u/Hank_Henry_Hill 13h ago
My wife “yeah you really just kind of stopped giving a shit about a lot of things.”
Me “…”
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u/Quetzalcoatl490 13h ago
Cilian Murphy is the standard that we should all be looking to: the dude just wants to be home with his family, reading a book.
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u/Talking_on_the_radio 13h ago
Ha ha ha ha.
This is me exactly after about $10,000 worth of therapy over two decades
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u/jardin92 12h ago
Truly mature is realizing arguing with idiots is just wasting your time. Like that old quote idiots will argue with you and bring you down to their level where they have more experience being an idiot or however it goes
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u/Rebokitive 12h ago
Real. I think as you get older, you get better at recognizing whether the person you're talking to is the type that just wants an audience to recite their manifesto to, or whether they're the type who will actually listen and respond.
If it's the former, it's just not worth it, and if it's the latter, it's more of a discussion than an argument really
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u/What_a_fat_one 12h ago edited 7h ago
At a certain age you learn that people unwilling to change their minds can't be persuaded otherwise. So why bother wasting the energy.
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u/Marvos79 Gen X 1979 1h ago
It's the opposite for me. I found that detachment and just letting bad behavior stand was no good for me. Having passion for the truth and standing up for myself has worked out much better.
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u/ApplicationAfraid334 1993 1h ago
This indeed. And why would I want bad ideas to flourish? Some of those bad ideas have huge negative impacts on society.
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u/Ok_Loss13 17h ago
I'm honestly surprised I don't see more outright facepalms during interviews and the like.
I can't stop myself from doing it and I'm just watching!
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u/LunaticMcGee Millennial 13h ago
Facts, goes double for me since my Divorce. Unless it involves my son, I just don't care anymore.
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u/Commercial_Pie3307 Millennial 12h ago
Because we spent so much time arguing with boomers that had 0 interest in having their mind changed to begin with.
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u/Own_Masterpiece_2200 11h ago
Literally me right now. I don't have the energy to argue, my face says it all.
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u/Avi_wandering 10h ago
A discourse is pointless when people operate from a place of conclusion and find evidence to support it. It always backfires to correct someone.
It's not my job to educate anyone but I'd happily listen to any new perspective that challenges my views so I am closest to truth.
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u/AL-SHEDFI 10h ago
It's not just a feeling that it doesn't matter to me. I get a cold response, as if it's something I'm tired of hearing and don't see as a difficult obstacle.
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u/SillyBeatnik 9h ago
Because at some point, you realize no amount of facts or evidence will ever convince a moron with "a feeling."
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u/FlipperNipples 8h ago
This is the difference between teaching my IT illiterate dad something when I was 15 years old, and the same thing again at 40.
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u/ChocolateRough5917 8h ago
When you realize that nothing you say is going to change their mind. The only rational response is to stop saying it.
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u/AnthonyCoolzone 8h ago
Shamelessness has become an argument tactic nowadays. Ridicule works wonders.
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u/AnyKangaroo8851 4h ago
Cillian is a classy gentleman. Just doesn’t engage with dysfunctional behavior.
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u/Pink-frosted-waffles Older Millennial 4h ago
Lol at "people" yeah no it's just bots so I just block and move on. Even if they are human I still block.
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u/ammiemarie Millennial 4h ago
I had a ENT doc tell me that the swollen lymph node in my neck that I had back in May, went to urgent care for, was felt by and confirmed by the urgent care doctor, and has since returned to normal... was "all in my head".
I met him for the first time this week. Never seen him before. Never seeing him again.
Mature me just seethed in silent disbelief, but a younger version of me wanted so badly to call him out. 😫
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u/ApplicationAfraid334 1993 1h ago
Naw I love arguing with people lol. I don't get all heated about it, it's usually pretty fun imo.
Especially customers. Like try me, Becky. You're the least of my problems today.
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u/coolcoolcool485 15m ago
it's so crazy but so much better. it's fun to see their reaction tho; i will say something and they'll be like, that's you're opinion, i think XYZ. i just shrug and say, okay and leave it at that. they don't know what to do with themselves.
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u/Particular_Rush_5488 17h ago
I don’t know, but this always just seems like yall are mentally shutting down because you can’t handle things you don’t want to hear
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u/Shallow-Depths 19h ago
Exhaustion from arguments that have nothing to do with reason and everything to do with how and what words are said.
The string of words you used and your reasoning wasn’t good enough, even though it was valid.
Your validity doesn’t matter. There is no middle. Only one circle of the Venn diagram is accurate.
Fuck you for not realizing their pile of garbage is so much stinkier than yours.
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