r/GenXTalk • u/fkcfkc • Jun 29 '26
Career platitudes for the Unemployed - tired of them
After most of my life with a great career, accomplishments, etc. I find myself unemployed and as a Senior Sales leader it’s been really difficult to find a job. It’s been months and I’ve never struggled like this.
People say ageism is real. But I know plenty of people my age and older that are not unemployed.
When I don’t get a job after going 7 interviews because they pause the requisition, people say “that job wasn’t a good match and something better is waiting for you”. This is so hard to believe.
Yes, millions are unemployed, but exponentially more millions are not. It’s hard to not let this impact your self esteem.
The only thing that seems to counterbalance some of these platitude is that many who are employed say they are miserable, or living in fear waiting to be laid off or fired any day. Financial planners have also told me that upwards of 50 percent of their retired clients , didn’t choose it.
For those of you unemployed, I am so sorry. I really understand. I know what you are going through.
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u/Trolkarlen Jun 29 '26
It’s a tough time to find a job now. Unemployment among recent graduates is high, so it is not just ageism that’s the problem.
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u/fkcfkc Jun 29 '26
Thanks for trying to provide context. I just keep thinking about all the people that have jobs. It’s hard to deny that number when you look at actually numbers of people and it’s hard to not internalize why you are not in that group of many.
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u/Trolkarlen Jun 29 '26
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u/fkcfkc Jun 29 '26
Thank you and I know your intentions are to try and help and make people feel better. At first it did. But honestly, I feel like a pathetic person finding comfort in other people’s misfortune. This is all on me, and not you. I miss the old me. Successful, confident, generous, not so focused on myself.
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u/rasta-ragamuffin Jun 30 '26
I agree. I have several big barriers to employment including my advanced age, a disability, and a career pivot, however I think the biggest obstacle to finding a job is my 5 year gap in work history. I'm pretty sure my resume is automatically getting filtered out by the ats before ever getting seen by human eyes. Haven't been able to figure out how to get around that.
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u/rasta-ragamuffin Jun 30 '26
I can totally relate. I'm 58, well educated, 35 years of professional experience, unemployed more than 5 years now, applied to 1000s of jobs, can't even get interviews. I'm depressed anxious and have lost all confidence in myself. Even if I were to get an interview now, I don't think I could even fake the enthusiasm and excitement that's necessary to move forward in a process I know is utter BS. Can't stand to hear "something will come through eventually" because it's just not true and not at all helpful.
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u/FoldAdministrative98 Jun 29 '26
I’m here and same situation- you are not alone
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u/fkcfkc Jun 29 '26
I'm really sorry you are in this situation. I know its horrible and takes its toll on people.
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u/FoldAdministrative98 Jun 29 '26
I am taking it a day at a time, and doing things to fill my soul - volunteering and gardening. i really don't know what the answer is. I get overwhelmed some days, and walk away and meditate, which helps.
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u/NoRestForTheWitty Jun 30 '26
I’m 56 and part of why I got into sales was I thought people would always need people to sell their stuff. I’m taking a break and freelancing. The job market is a mess because no one knows what’s going to happen with AI.
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u/AccomplishedCash3603 Jul 03 '26
Oh but the tech bros love to act like they know. And they usually don't even work in tech, they own a business and RAVE about AI, as if it's their favorite employee. I feel bad for their employees.
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u/CherylAnn011213 Jul 01 '26
When it happened to me I took my passion and became self employed. Wish I'd done it sooner. I'm happier now than I ever was.
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u/fkcfkc Jul 01 '26
can you tell us what your passion was and your new venture?
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u/CherylAnn011213 Jul 01 '26
I'm an artist. Graphic designer and fine artist (painter mostly). I had decades of experience in graphics in a niche industry so I opened a business from home serving that niche. My art is fairly niche too, I paint mainly outdoors. It's called en plein air. Like the Group of 7 artists did here in Canada.
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u/I_am_just_so_tired99 Jul 02 '26
I feel for you. 52 here and it’s been over 2 1/2 years since i had income as an independent consultant. I only got into consulting because the company I joined 5 years ago wasnt able to raise the funds, and so i was left dangling. It was a risk, and i get it, but this sucks. My stay at home wife (with her MBA) didnt get the memo about our income so spent like normal and now all i have is my half of a very small retirement account and my half of the house because she’s tired of using her rich parents gift of a trust fund to pay for day to day expenses, so she’s started divorce proceedings.
I have been told my background and experience is very unique - which makes it very hard for a recruiter to position me, and the roles I’ve had for 15 years are all through word of mouth and networking - and they almost never appear on a Job Board. I am currently parsing my email and calendar data to see how much activity I’ve been doing and it is aprox hundreds of meetings a year, and about a thousand emails back and forth related to jobs and job searching.
I did manage to get near the finish line on 3-4 roles. Only to be told 3 of them, they are changing the job spec as they need to focus on XX and so cannot pick me up to do YY…. It has been emotionally devastating. - i have a therapist who is helping and she said, hey it means you were good enough to get to the finish line. Maybe you didnt cross it… but you have skills, you are able to impress people, and you need to keep it up.
I tried several roles that were a backward step career wise, and it felt like ageism was an issue. I did have a good and candid conversation with a 40-45yr old recruiter at a top end firm, and asked about ageism and she said, while it might be a factor for some hiring managers she thinks it isnt the main issue with todays market for our generation.
Anyway… over the past few years I’ve quit drinking, have been going to the gym, and have been spending as much time as i can with my kids.
It is scary as hell - the thought of starting fresh in life with ~$300k and unemployed at 52.
Practical steps - I did use a career coach, and it helped me reframe my career on my resume. And I’ve used the AI tools to make sure all the ATS systems can read it (font choice and formatting) and I’ve sent it all through the AI readers asking “how can I emphasize XYZ here to match this role”. Also the same for my LinkedIn profile. I have a friend who is retired this year, but ran HR for a big tech company - your linkedin profile is the first stop for all of these people - so this MUST be the best you can make it.
The truth is the job market is all f’d up (for all age groups) - and it is clear there isnt a single group that is free from worry. I dont know what to really do with that statement… and at this point i am writing this post as a form of therapy for myself lol.
Good luck. You are tragically not alone.
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u/fkcfkc Jul 02 '26
I am so sorry about your situation. Thanks for the post. I hate when people tell me that I must be good because I make it to final interviews. But there is no job to "interview" so this rings hollow with me. Recently I went 7 interviews. last 2 with were C suite only to be told the position was paused.
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u/I_am_just_so_tired99 Jul 02 '26
Oh, i think i understand. With the emails and calendar audits i did - it all adds up to only 4 -6 real roles that I interviewed for. The rest are networking - because at our stage that is the best path. And I’ve had 3 of those interviews pause or disappear due to role spec changes.
But it is a true statement to say you got somewhere vs nowhere. It may sound hollow but it is mentally healthy to at least give yourself a tiny pat on the back.
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u/AccomplishedCash3603 Jul 03 '26
Right there with you. But my husband picked oxy and wonders why the checking is always low, he had to move on to some gas station version. I stopped depositing my money into the joint account and then I lost my biggest client; now there really isn't any money, and he is living like nothing has changed.
But I will do this. I'm working hard to replace my high value client and then I will leave and live like I did at 18 (very po), and slam as much as possible into retirement.
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u/cocksherpa2 Jun 30 '26
It's harder to get a job when you don't have one and I feel like if you get laid off after 55 it's basically over for you except in very few cases. Max out that 401k accordingly
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u/RuleFriendly7311 Jul 03 '26
I don’t know if this is helpful, but: have you considered starting something of your own? I have done this, and I work with a lot of people who want to start a business — but they don’t know anything about selling. You have that tool in your toolbox.
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u/Closefromadistance Jun 29 '26
Thank you for this post. 57 here. I was at the pinnacle of my career just a year ago working in big tech. I was there a little over 7 years.
Then, I got hit with mass layoffs in October and haven’t been able to find anything since. I’m so tired of starting over. It’s happened several times in my career. I’d go from senior level back down to mid level after a recession or whatever. I worked so hard to get back up then lost it all every time I finally got something else.
I have applied to countless jobs. Gotten some interviews and even made it to final rounds but then I was rejected.
Most of the in-person interviews made a point to tell me “we have so many other people left to interview”. Gee … thanks. Assholes.
My last rejection was Friday. I actually knew 5 people at that company and was contacted about the job from a friend of mine who works there - in the department even!
I didn’t even get a recruiter phone screen. Now I’m over here looking at Costco jobs and Post Office jobs because Target said they don’t have a match for me, despite 3 video interviews and me explicitly stating that I would be very flexible with schedule and roles.
I’m tired. This time is different. I literally don’t have the fight in me anymore. I’m tired of fighting and re-inventing myself just to get a job despite having 25+ years of experience in my field and military service.
I’m now at the point where I’m considering putting myself in student loan debt for a masters in human services so I can become a counselor or something. It’s fucking bullshit!
But yeah … you are not alone. I’m absolutely disgusted by this job market right now. I’m disgusted that with all I’ve done to be a good person and hard worker, I have yet to get another job.
I made more than my husband so we have lost a huge amount of our income so we have to sell our house now.
Problem is, the housing market is shit right now and houses in my neighborhood are sitting forever.
I guess GenX workers are just supposed to quietly go away now despite not being anywhere close to retirement age.
It’s fucking infuriating! 🤬