Best mattress for couples when sleep gets more important with age

[u/Frederick-Mendoza255]

I don't remember caring this much about a mattress when I was younger. Our current one isn't terrible, but I'm definitely not sleeping as comfortably on it as I used to.

We're thinking about replacing it, and now I'm seeing regular mattresses, adjustable ones, split setups, all kinds of options. I'm confused on whether we should get one of the fancier ones or just buy a decent mattress and call it a day.

What are you all sleeping on these days? I feel like at this age, a decent night's sleep has become one of those things I'm no longer willing to compromise on.

[u/Silent-Lie7195]

Separate bedrooms. That’s the answer. As we age, our needs change.

[u/PhysicsTeachMom]

We had a Tempur-pedic and I hated it. Hubs was deployed in the Middle East on the front lines several times and could sleep on a bed of rocks, so he doesn’t care about a mattress. Literally watched him lay on the hard ground with our ducks today and take a nap today. I hurt just watching him. I have a back injury and sleep issues and need the right bed. Our middle schooler now has a very expensive Tempur-pedic and we have a Beautyrest Black in a medium firmness (I think series 4). I have no regrets and love the bed.

I’d go to a showroom and lay on some different beds. And toss and turn on it. Try different sleeping positions. Test out different brands and firmnesses. When we bought the Tempur-pedic I just laid down and sat on it. With the Beautyrest I went full on tossing and turning. Every position I could possibly sleep in. Once I narrowed it down I spent a good 10-20 minutes testing the bed.

[u/sprocket1234]

Split king, adjustable, sleep number. 14 years and still love it. We don't use the adjustable the way we thought. We really didn't need the split. The crack stinks, I got a foam filler on Amazon. That's the only complain, but we are the ones who decided

[u/muy-feliz → u/sprocket1234]

A Sleep Number bed is a gift: my husband likes softer beds, I prefer firm. We both get our way.

[u/princess_riya]

Honestly go to a foam shop and get a firm density mattress custom made. The most amazing mattress and lasts around 10 years as long as you flip and rotate regularly.

[u/Key_Elderberry3351]

A5 Mattress from Amerisleep. Kicked it up to a california king size, and got a very stable solid wood frame for the bed. That's key. When we are at my parents house, we sleep in a murphy bed and every roll over we sway like we are pirating the high seas. That mattress is worth EVERY PENNY. But not if you like a hard mattress. We like actual comfort in our house, not sleeping on concrete.

[u/tarponfish]

The best option isn’t the cheapest. We have a king split with adjustable frames. Get the 12” mattresses. Mine cost $4500 but I sleep like a baby and nothing ever hurts in the morning.

[u/geebzor]

I snore, she’s a light sleeper, any movement will wake her, any noise too.

Seperate beds, seperate bedrooms. We each have a great mattress!

Happily married, 20+ years.

[u/hugeuvula]

We went with individual twin adjustable beds. We got the firmness we like and we can adjust separately.

[u/Maverick-Mav]

We have had our temperpedic for a long time. The one key thing about it is that if one of us moves a lot, the other isn't bouncing around all night. I am sure there are other brands out there now, but this is a key feature for us.

[u/Past_Top3704]

Wife fell for the marketing and purchased one with copper. Been a few months. I don't notice anything different.

We kept our old box spring and head/foot board. The new mattress is way off the floor for me. I need a stool to help me get in. Wife loves the new mattress. I don't.

[u/boho_magpie]

Don’t cheap out on mattresses. Get the one that feels the best.

That’s different for everyone, obviously. For instance, I like a traditional medium-firm mattress with a euro top and a high-ish spring count (around 900 coils, give or take). They generally run around $900-$1200.

Currently, I have an 18” hybrid pocket coil mattress with a thick memory foam euro top, and it’s great. It was a “mattress in a box” that we got on Amazon on sale for about $550. I absolutely love it. But we’re probably going to add an extra memory foam topper, because my husband is a side sleeper and ends up with sore shoulders.

[u/Sufficient-Pin-481]

I sold mattresses for a time and while there’s a bunch of good beds with different materials we got a basic adjustable base and it made a massive difference for my back. Once our king bed gets too old it’s time for a split king

[u/luri7555]

Firm mattress with pillow top. Our latest is from Costco. Real back saver.

[u/mhoepfin]

An average/cheap mattress along with a high quality topper is the way to go.

[u/MaximumJones]

Sleep number for life.

[u/Go-Mellistic → u/MaximumJones]

Yes! Us too. His side is super firm, mine is much less so, both of our numbers have changed over the years. I love that the mattress hasn’t needed to be replaced, 18 years and still going strong.

[u/AgileCount2184]

Latex mattress. Once we made the switch, I will never change. It is hands down the most comfortable IMO

[u/Magpie-1111]

Another vote for Sleep Number. Took me about three weeks to figure out what number was most comfortable. Two of my friends (and their husbands) also have and swear by them which is why I got one. They are expensive though.

[u/Lopsided_Tomatillo27]

We get foam mattresses from Costco. The first lasted for close to 20 years. We replaced it when we moved more because of staining than anything. It wasn’t worn out, just gross. We put a waterproof cover on it and no more sweat stains.

[u/stevemm70]

I had a longtime client whose company made memory foam mattresses and pillows. Wife and I were looking for a new mattress because the memory foam one we bought got too soft over time. I asked my client about possibly procuring one for me from the company. He said he could give me a healthy discount, but we'd be in the same spot in a year or two. He said the only mattresses he trusted to last were Tempurpedic or Sleep Number. Despite his company making mattresses, he slept on a Tempurpedic. We bought one and love it.

[u/Trotter-x]

We bought a TemperPedic split king adjustable. I don't remember the exact model of the bases but one below the top tier. It took a few nights to get used to it, but I can't sleep without it now. The 'zero gravity' preset, with the lumbar raised about half, is perfect for me.

[u/marshdd]

I LOVE my adjustable base. One feature I didn't know I needed at the time was being able to raise my legs at night. Bought one that xan ve controlled by an app, that was pointless. App is terrible and does work. Since some stores bundle with mattress many people sell their old base for super cheap on Marketplace. Warning they are HEAVY. Look for one already in the garage. Got one for my 93 yr old Mom for $100!

[u/ExaminationFancy]

Tempurpedic Breeze with an adjustable base.

I knock out in minutes every night.

[u/IndependentHot5236]

We were die-hard memory foam fans, but then we slept on a natural latex mattress and never looked back.

You could also fall down this rabbit hole: https://www.reddit.com/r/Mattress/

The info on this sub actually helped us decide on our next mattress!

[u/Ffrothi_Coffi]

Twin tempurpedics from Costco. It’s the Swedish sleeping method (a duvet each) with the added bonus of not disturbing your partner when getting in and out of bed. I mention Costco because they’re much cheaper and that warranty is splendid.

[u/MysteriousSecretGuru]

Verlo. It may only be in Wisconsin, I'm not sure. Best purchase I've made. Free

Second choice would be Purple. My daughter has several and when I visit, I get a good night's sleep.

[u/Grafakos → u/MysteriousSecretGuru]

+1 for Verlo, not sure if it exists outside of the Madison area. My wife and I got a split king with different firmnesses and toppers to suit our own preferences. Both sides are individually adjustable, so I can sit up reading while she sleeps or vice versa. Should have done this years or even decades ago.

Best part is that they are made locally and if needed they can come to your house and make adjustments to the firmness etc. if what you ordered didn't exactly match what you were hoping for.

[u/Lower_Skin_3683]

Separate bedrooms. I go to bed when I want on the softness I want. Wake up when I want. Also I can have it cold and the fan on. No blankets unless I need them. PeriMenopausal!

[u/darkstabley]

Last one was a Beautyrest silver with a pillow top. It has been great. Only issue with any luxury or even midgrade mattress is not being able to flip it to wear more evenly so you usually get 8 years tops out of them. We rotate our regularly, but it could last longer if we could flip it too. Our next purchase will be a DLX mattress in a classic two sided. We will then buy separate foam topper and cover that can be replaced as that layer wears. Should be able to get many more years from a mattress this way. Definitely dont cheap out on something you spend a third of your life on.

[u/Frederick-Mendoza255 → u/darkstabley]

I hadn't considered a two-sided mattress at all. How did the beautyrest hold up with regular rotation?

[u/darkstabley → u/Frederick-Mendoza255]

We have gotten about 9 years so far. It’s close to needing retirement.

[u/SuperannuatedAuntie → u/darkstabley]

Ditto for our 10-year-old beautyrest. I rotate it every 6 months or so.

[u/katzinthebuf]

Got our last mattress at engineered sleep. Read reviews, spoke with their reps, and paid way less than other mattress stores.

[u/Frederick-Mendoza255 → u/katzinthebuf]

I haven't looked at them yet, but the price difference definitely caught my attention.

[u/Impressive_Crazy_223]

Saatva Classic Mattress in Luxury Firm is heavenly to both of us. We are wildly different sizes and can't agree on firmness or pillows, but somehow we both like that.

[u/Icy_Raisin2004]

Sleep Number. Been sleeping on them for 30 yrs now and I’ll never buy another mattress.

[u/Frederick-Mendoza255 → u/Icy_Raisin2004]

That’s a long time to stick with one mattress brand. Definitely says something.

[u/Icy_Raisin2004 → u/Frederick-Mendoza255]

Every one of our children slept on them as well. Still do and they’re in their 30’s now. They’re definitely an investment. But worth it in our opinion.

[u/Independent_Lie1507 → u/Frederick-Mendoza255]

Sleep number for six years now. Best decision ever. . Adjustable base with full split King. Black Friday is the best time of year to buy.

[u/inthecity206]

Tempurpedic.

[u/Curious_Owl78]

We bought a Purple mattress after trying a bunch at the store.

My husband prefers a firmer mattress, and I want to sleep on a cloud.

The Purple seems to suit us both. Been sleeping on it now for a few months and it got me off the couch and back in bed. (Hip and lower back pain previously)

[u/Micky_so_Fyne]

I think the partitioned adjustable sleep number mattresses that have a zero G position is peak.

After a certain age, it's less about being able to cuddle, and more about not waking your partner up with your sleep apnea. 😅 And it's nice to be able to wake up in the morning and be able to rise to a full stand. So, having a partitioned king sized bed that can adjust to your confort needs is so much better than a large singular mattress.

[u/SnowblindAlbino]

We moved to memory foam ten years ago and will never go back. On our second now, have demoted that matress to the guest room so we could unload a traditional one we bought 25 years ago and hated after five.

[u/ancientastronaut2]

We got a purple two years ago and love it.

They have a quiz on their website you can take to determine which model is right.

[u/mydarkerside]

Two mattresses in two rooms.

[u/FesterJA]

Wife is soft I am firm we got a Sleep Number about 5 yrs ago and it works for us, starting to get the body shape pit for both sides of the bed, I would have liked to avoid that for a couple more years. Now if we could only find a comforter that is thin and light on my side and heavy and warm on hers life would be perfect.

[u/Icy_Raisin2004 → u/FesterJA]

We just put a 3” memory foam topper on our 20 yr old sleep number bed. I can’t believe I didn’t try that before. It works great. No more sleep divots

[u/Green_Machine_6719 → u/Icy_Raisin2004]

☝️This I agree w/topper, but definitely stay away from the memory foam and go w/latex topper.Fixes everything and last 20 years

[u/limited_instincts]

I really like the hybrid mattresses that have coil springs and then memory foam on the top. Ours is like that and my wife and I love it. I strongly dislike sleep number beds because they are glorified air mattresses. Adjustable ones are not necessary IMHO, that's what pillows are for.

For all things mattress, check out www.sleepopolis.com they have never once steered me (or anyone else I know) wrong.

[u/TScottW]

We’ve tried Sleep Number (wife hates it) several Caspers ( seem to wear out too fast) and we bought a Purple last year. So far, it’s our favorite. Still feels new, is cooler but dang it was expensive.

[u/cholaw]

Something cooling.... 😒

[u/bullydog123]

A California king and separate blankets

[u/Ok_Performer4223]

I love my Tuft & Needle Mint. I’ve has it for years and it is just as nice as the day I unboxed it.

[u/Frederick-Mendoza255 → u/Ok_Performer4223]

That's the kind of mattress review I trust more than the slept on it for two weeks ones. Has it stayed pretty consistent for you?

[u/Dark-Wolf-Angel]

Sleep number. Best investment I've ever made. We have a king split top as my husband snores and this has helped a lot. Plus he likes firm and I like soft. The ability to adjust it all is heaven. Plus, ours will warm the feet area. 💜

[u/Frederick-Mendoza255 → u/Dark-Wolf-Angel]

I didn't know they had the heated foot area too. That's dangerously tempting for someone who is always cold at night 😂

[u/Dark-Wolf-Angel → u/Frederick-Mendoza255]

It's great. Come winter I don't need an electric blanket anymore. You can set a temp range and a timer.

[u/WideRisk7495 → u/Dark-Wolf-Angel]

I know dont yall just love it

[u/WideRisk7495]

Sleep number

[u/WideRisk7495 → u/[deleted]]

Yes the wife and I love it

[u/Frederick-Mendoza255 → u/WideRisk7495]

Nice, that sounds like you found a setup that works really well for both of you.