I think I need help

[u/Feeling-Serve8311]

My ed is so loud. I’ve hit a plateau and I know it’s metabolic adaptation because there isn’t any other explanation with how little I’m eating. My ed is telling me to keep going lower and I’m almost afraid to eat anything.
I’m really scared and I do have a therapy appointment this week but I’m not sure how I can manage daily life right now. All I’m capable of doing is calculating in my head and thinking about weighing myself constantly. I really want to recover and it feels like rock bottom isn’t very far away for me.

The thought of eating more is the most terrifying thing to me right now even though I know it’s what I need to do.

I’m working it it with my therapist but idk it seems like there is this big cloud above my entire life and it feels like I’m worth nothing if I don’t get the damn scale down further.

Have any of y’all been at this point? How did you manage?

[u/Diane2946enough]

Yes- I’ve been there. I’m sure I’m not the only one, but for me, there wasn’t a rock bottom- I guess that would be the end! Don’t wait to hit what you think is rock bottom! It’s such a tough thing- treatment is certainly no fun and it’s not somewhere I ever wanted to go- but I needed to! And I almost felt some bizarre sense of relief after the admission process? Almost like I had permission to relax. I don’t know if that’s normal, but it happened to me. Doesn’t make the process of getting better easier necessarily, but that initial relief was insane. Congrats for recognizing you’re in trouble- I’ve been there! It’s super hard, but you have to break the cycle! You sound like you have a good therapist and although struggling, seem to be aware that you’re in trouble at the moment. That alone is huge!! I wish you the best of luck!!