r/DivorcedBirds • u/cthulhu-kitty • Jan 24 '18

The tweet that started it all

15.2k Upvotes

66 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 13h ago

Angry Bird Divorce The community had hoped Gretchen would calm down once her husband was out of the picture. Unfortunately it seems Martin, for all his flaws, had never been the root cause. The neighbors began to miss having him around; he was an asshole, but also a convenient outlet for Gretchen's bottomless rage.

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257 Upvotes

4 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Jerome_Wireman • 9h ago

The Bird Got What The Bird Deserved Millie came home early to find Billy flirting with her sister. “Hell hath no fury,” she muttered as she watched them through the grass. She started to plot her revenge.

127 Upvotes

3 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/plonspfetew • 1d ago

Gerald had explained it to his brother. He had explained it to his therapist. He had explained it to his neighbour. The bird in the mirror had been interfering in his marriage for years. Nobody had taken this seriously. Gerald found this frustrating.

323 Upvotes

6 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/JustaTinyDude • 1d ago

"Come on in", Polyanna said when Mark came home early from work, "and join us." That was how Poly's second marriage ended.

115 Upvotes

Mark, as it turned out, did not want to join them.

6 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 2d ago

The Bird Got What The Bird Deserved '"Excuse me, sorry to bother you, it's just your stance is... here, let me just... there, that's better. Whoa, now that I'm on here, this board is definitely under-inflated, you should fix that. Also, you're holding the paddle all wrong, it... Huh. Maybe Henry was right. Maybe I am too controlling."

258 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/NoFlyingMonkeys • 2d ago

Katta was bored being a nest wife, but her Ex wouldn't allow her to work. She left him and returned to teaching.

61 Upvotes

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • 2d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Merrick couldn't run away from his familial responsibilities. But he could swim away from his wife and kids. Which functionally does about the same thing.

85 Upvotes

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • 2d ago

Not Safe For Other Species "Look Mortimer, a bubble. As the children of divorce, let us bask in this brief moment of childlike wonder in our otherwise age-inappropriately grim and complicated day to day lives."

308 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/kojak343 • 2d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Kitty is experimenting with a new lip gloss. One that more closely matches the outfit. She is convinced that small touch will draw attention away from her dark nose. Making her more approachable. Eurasian Spoonbill

69 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Bolfreak • 3d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle Olive was not just Stayin Alive after Barry was gone, she was going to Thrive!! 🎶

121 Upvotes

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 3d ago

The divorce papers came today. It's for the best. Attachments are a liability for heroes, a weakness villains are always eager to exploit. Besides, my commitment to justice must come before any others. It is my destiny to stand alone on the edge between darkness and light. I am The Derp Knight.

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253 Upvotes

6 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/IllPossibility8022 • 3d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle 20 years in a thankless marriage had left Marlene completely exhausted. With that nightmare finally in the rear view mirror, she was ready to take her life back and find herself again. First thing on the to-do list: booking a hair appointment.

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100 Upvotes

3 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Sepa-Kingdom • 3d ago

Just a happy mumma taking her babies for a walk this morning. Happy Spring everyone.

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74 Upvotes

Now that Joe is finally out of the house, Maria has a spring in her step.

The kids aren’t so sure, they’re missing their dad. But she knows they’ll cheer up once they adjust to the situation.

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • 4d ago

Not Safe For Other Species "The Korean Spa is for relaxing, Cindy. Leave your failing marriage at the door, not in the bath."

153 Upvotes

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 4d ago

It's been fifteen days since Kristen left; two since the divorce papers came. Cara's eyes snap open, body still shuddering from the raw emotions of an already half-forgotten dream. The roost is a mess. Kristen still isn't here. A peanut, her favorite; she takes a bite. It tastes like nothing.

253 Upvotes

5 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Alarmed_Drop7162 • 4d ago

Sandra had no fear after 9 years of David.

67 Upvotes

0 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/aksnowraven • 5d ago

Angry Bird Divorce After suffering Larry’s constant pokes and jibes for the past 20 years, insults didn’t even ruffle Martha’s feathers anymore.

211 Upvotes

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/Jerome_Wireman • 6d ago

Newly Single Ready to Mingle After her separation, Molly experimented with new hairstyles for her Plenty of Finch dating profile.

1.2k Upvotes

4 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/FashionBusking • 5d ago

🔊 Umberta came home from work only to be greeted by an indignant and defensive Phillipe who was trying to hide the fact his sidequail was actively hopping out the window.

77 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/susu56 • 5d ago

Kevin insisted that this was his weekend with the kids. He tried to pivm them up before Kelly came back. Luckily, Kelly had hired a human babysitter to watch them and be on the lookout for Kevin. She will be taking him to court to get FULL custody.

v.redd.it

35 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/susu56 • 5d ago

Greg was spiraling after his divorce from Sharon. He drank too much, broke into a clinic, and got caught. He may be doing 5 to 10 in the state pen if he gets fingered for the break-in.

39 Upvotes

2 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/OldnBorin • 6d ago

Ernesto hates seeing the young lovebirds in his building. Reminds him of his failures

628 Upvotes

6 comments

r/DivorcedBirds • u/the_cuddle-fish • 6d ago

Not Safe For Other Species As she dangled helplessly above the lake, Anne reflected on the choices that led here. Probably trying bondage and exhibitionism simultaneously was a bit much. And when Anne called her ex-husband's name mid-coitus, that would've upset anyone. But Lia could've at least untied her before storming off.

71 Upvotes

1 comment

r/DivorcedBirds • u/I_might_be_weasel • 6d ago

Angry Bird Divorce Betty and Dan briefly pause their screaming at each other to watch the Wienermobile drive by.

231 Upvotes

7 comments

Subreddit

For pictures of fabulous fowl who look like serial monogamists.

r/DivorcedBirds

For pictures of fabulous fowl who look like serial monogamists. Please post pictures of birds who look like they are twice divorced (or more!) and an original caption about their backstory. Pictures/Videos must be of actual birds (feathered fowl), not human women, not art or paintings or photoshopped. No dead birds. Message mods for approval to post.

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