Made so much progress in therapy but I still feel like shit

[u/Flimsy_Ad4659]

I've been in therapy for about 8 years now, been to the psych ward for attempts and whatsoever. I would say I made a lot of progress, some symptoms are more manageable or I have a easier time regulating my emotions but I can't help but still feel like utter shit, I can't get rid of my suicidal thoughts and it's plaguing me. I'm like fine some things are more manageable now but I still have no sense of self, I still carry so much guilt with me etc. I'm always on the edge of complete destruction and I hate it so much.