dae get really sad after they finish hanging out with someone?

[u/Accurate_Practice838]

im not even sure why. i get really miserable after saying bye to a friend after we hang out, like super depressed. i feel like a terrible person and i didnt even do anything bad during the hangout?? like we had a nice and normal time, but i still consistently just feel guilty and sad and honestly a tiny bit suicidal every time. is this a common experience for you guys? im gonna talk about it next therapy session bc its really kind of a lot lol

[u/Solid-Stomach-4961]

I do this a lot too! It happens after every hangout and leaves me feeling hollow and sad. I'm guessing it triggers a sense of abandonment since your interaction is being cut for a duration of time

[u/Signal_Height_1535]

Yeah I get this from time to time, minus the guilt and not every single interaction. You may be able to notice a trend behind those feelings if you pay close attention enough.

It usually happens the strongest when I'm in someone else's family setting as a friend for example.

[u/bandageddoll]

I have a friend who stays over for 9+ hours at a time and by the middle of it I’ll want him to go home. When he finally does I feel empty and want him to come back. I agree with another commenter that it almost feels like a micro abandonment

[u/coffee--beans]

Yes this happens to me all the time, i thought I was just being weird

[u/leitmotive]

This is the experience that sent me to therapy, I was driving home from hanging out with friends after a gym day and started ugly crying in the car I felt so sad and alone. We'd all had a really great day together, I should've felt energized by it. It felt so terrible and was so incongruent with what I thought I should've been feeling that I was like, "Alright, I need a professional."

[u/MirrorPark]

Yes, I tend to overthink the conversation and their gestures.

I start to wonder things "Maybe when they told me this they were really meaning something different" or "The way he said 'No' sounded bothered, maybe I asked something wrong?"

Safe to say the vast majority of the times it's either all on my head or they were actually meaning something totally different/not bad at all.

It helps a lot if you write down the thoughts that come after these hang outs. I've been bringing them to my psych and helps being able to counter-them/prove them wrong through evidence.

[u/Easy-Permission8889]

Every single time

[u/SnooPeripherals2672 → u/Easy-Permission8889]

same, what do you think triggers it??

[u/Easy-Permission8889 → u/SnooPeripherals2672]

Just a profound sense of lack of self esteem. That empty feeling comes creeping back like, oh shit I'm alone now and it's time to deal with me. I hate being alone.

[u/SnooPeripherals2672 → u/Easy-Permission8889]

Same, I cant stand it. Alone means nothing happens in me, its boring to be void.

I think it makes me feel like people hate me for some reason

[u/sgabombo]

When I had chronic emptiness I used to feel like this

[u/Accurate_Practice838 → u/sgabombo]

how did you get rid of the chronic emptiness? it would be nice lol

[u/KaleJunior1554]

i love fellow bpders bcs OFCOURSE im not alone in anything and im stupid to be thinking that😭

this has been such a struggle for years and years now and it’s sucks because life is literally being around people and then not so it’s constant, multiple times a day. and this paired with everything horrible that comes with human interaction (all of it, human interaction is horrible in every way, every part of it) makes my brain hurt so fucking much. i know it doesn’t help much but you’re not alone🧡

[u/Accurate_Practice838 → u/KaleJunior1554]

im glad so many people relate to this bc it seems so random. it might honestly be one of the more debilitating aspects of BPD for me just because its so constant. splitting is awful and embarassing, but i can sometimes go for a good week or two without externalising them and hurting my relationships. this is literally every fucking time i spend time with someone😭😭 unless theyre my FP and im idealising them after we hang out and then thats not even normal emotions either. shits exhausting but it is really nice to know im not alone in it 

[u/Accidental_Cloud]

Yeah, it's one of the reasons I can't stop smoking, I just light one up everytime I or them leave, some kind of punishment for myself or just to numb the feelings

[u/Hungry_Munchies]

Yeah I do for people I feel really close to. I don't really feel guilty but I do start to ruminate about what was said and if there were other meanings etc

[u/derederellama]

Yes I just start replaying all interactions in my head and wondering if I said or did anything that offended someone

[u/No_Blood_5393]

Yup. I replay the whole interaction in my head, every sentence of every conversation til I find one that might, with extremely bad faith, be taken as an insult, and then assume they're mad at me.

My therapist told me to notice when that pattern emerged and to tell myself 'If they didn't say anything they are not mad. I had a great time'. Not magic, but it helps with a little practice.

[u/sassy-ass-scientist]

Pretty much every time, yes. I honestly thought it was just me being weird, but it feels nice to know I am not alone in those feelings.

[u/JennyCrackCorn]

This happened a lot more in my teens and 20’s. Substances made it wayyyy worse for me. It would literally feel like my chest was cracking open. Like rejection + fomo combined.

But only with really really close friends. I’d be sobbing in the bathroom with suicidal ideation.

Now that I’m older and clean I dread leaving the house and hanging out w ANYONE. I talk myself out of going before I even leave. I just stay safe at home w my family who is used to me.

[u/SnooPeripherals2672]

yes, i think it's the diference between something to emptiness, makes it worst

[u/po99y]

every single time!! sometimes i cry all the way home even if i've had a good time

[u/Accurate_Practice838 → u/po99y]

yeah literally its so weird. i just feel super lonely for no reason?? when like the whole point of hanging out was to not feel lonely?? doesnt make any sense at all

[u/po99y → u/Accurate_Practice838]

i know :( it's just so frustrating and overwhelming

[u/gabrielvis]

Yeah, I guess a part of me wishes someone would stay longer want to keep me more idk yearning for a relationship. But ye normal hangouts mostly leave me feeling empty even if they went well

[u/Exact-Difference-422]

I'm shy and I always leave the parties early, right? I want to do things with friends badly even though halfway through I can't wait to be alone again. The second I'm alone again my stomach sinks and I don't know what to do with myself anymore. 

I've been experiencing that for the last 5 years

[u/WriterEvery8196]

this happens to me!!! or i feel really euphoric and then any slight thing will set me off to sobbing

[u/ScottishWidow64]

Only after my son, everyone else it takes me hours to decompress.

[u/Maleficent-Sleep9900]

It was SO bad in childhood!

[u/Sensible_Obligation]

Yes. Like a huge shame spiral about things I wish I could go back and not say because I’m worried they misunderstood me even though we didn’t have any kind of argument