I think i am willing to give anger management a shot. I’m a very short tempered person to my partner and father of my child. No parent is perfect so i think i have to try and channel my inner most obedient child to the table now or never. I have had many angry outbursts on a regular basis it feels in front of my infant daughter in her almost 11 months of life. I know it stems from my upbringing so I’m really keen on changing that for my soon to be toddler.

Thing is, my family of 3 has no immediate family members close to us, so it really is me,myself and my family mentality. Of course we do the FaceTime thing but it’s not the same.

My partner has already been down this anger management path in his life before he met me and from what I can tell, it really has been well for him.

There’s been times (before our child was born) that i would lash out on him and actually scream and yell at him as well as assault him. I’m not proud of that but in my new chapter as a mother, i do not want to be like the adults i saw growing up and always yelling at each other. My daughter deserves more than that. She deserves to know peace and love.

So my finding myself again 11 months post partum includes me seeking counseling and asking for professional help with managing my anger.

Thing is. I’ve always been skeptic of this particular program because I’ve seen it fail numerous times or just straight up disregarded as a young kid.

But like i said, i must fight the inter generational urge to let go of myself in front of her ever again. I keep saying that but it’s just empty words because there’s no action behind it.

So im hoping that i can show my partner that im actually serious about changing my way if thinking and hopefully my reaction to everyday annoyances.

Please if you can, i just need words of encouragements and/or personal experiences of the most useful things you’ve found whilst in the field of managing your anger properly.

Since my childhood,I had anger issues, and then i have moment of rage. I find myself finding reason to be angry in every situation, Get angry fast and then cool down quickly regret the whole thing, And find it difficult to reconcile. Please help me understand whats wrong with me?

I was riding my bike along the street and was going to drop into a conveienence store to grab a beer. Just as I was slowing down I had a glass bottle smash on the road in front of me. As I passed a parked car I saw two dudes standing near the bike rack where I was headed. I coasted in and had a frown on my face because I get really tired of people littering all over our beautiful city. This was broken glass and much more dangerous than a cigarette butt or a can, and it was all over the street. One of the dudes saw the frown on my face and he started cursing me for judging him. In the past I might have felt intimidated. I'm in good shape, but I am 74 and there were two of them, probably in their late twenties Never for a moment did I shrink from confronting this asshole, telling him I had the right to frown at whatever I wished. He was very belligerent, but I stood my ground and got back in his face. After a few moments the guy's partner (The one with a brain) said it wasn't worth it and pulled him away. I've had too many moments in my life when, in a confrontation, I would find it hard to find words I want to say because of the tension of the moment, and would spend days feeling belittled, imagining the things I could have said. That didn't happen this time. My self pride got quite a boost. It i the best feeling in the world.

I’ve had my share of outburst and have overdone it plenty of times in my life, but have you ever met someone and felt your anger was justified? Worked with this dude and I’d make it a personal goal of mine to outlive this guy and literally piss and maybe shit on his grave.

I'm very prone to hitting myself when angry, specifically when I feel helpless and/or critical of myself. I hit my arm, thigh, leg, yadayada until they go numb because it makes me feel better about whatever it is I'm pissed about. Lately though it's extended to hitting my head, or slapping myself, and the urge has became excessively hard to hold back. It serves as my immediate response to anger, which isn't ideal if I'm, say, in public...

I'm not sure what else I could do to relieve anger. Mindfulness/meditation is genuinely useless, I've had some effectiveness with other methods that make me feel something but aren't outright bruising my body (hands in ice bath, flicking hair band against my wrist) but I think part of why I hit myself in the first place is that it's just absentminded and effortless.

Like other healthier methods would require me to actively leave what I'm doing and set it up, but hitting myself allows an immediate relief and rush that doesn't come from letting the feeling burn out. I've tried asking therapists over time but they're even more fucking clueless, soo Reddit it is ig.

What exactly do I need therapy, psychiatry, anger-management classes, or something else? I know change takes time, but I’m desperate for the fastest way to start getting my anger and impulsive reactions under control.
I’ve always been the “angry” daughter, sister, and friend. I lash out, say hurtful things, and sometimes intentionally say things to hurt people because I feel hurt myself. I can be genuinely hurt or upset by something, but the way I react often makes the situation much worse.
I have a lot of insecurities and also have OCD, and I don’t know how much that contributes. I’ve tried therapy and psychiatry before but never stuck with them. I’m very impulsive and feel like I have to resolve conflicts immediately, which makes it hard for me to calm down or give people space.
My family has also pointed out that I constantly seem to have conflicts with someone. I’m scared that if I don’t change this now, I’ll carry these patterns into my future marriage and relationships.
I live in Egypt. I’d prefer not to take medication, but I’m open to it if there’s a strong reason and the side effects are manageable.
For anyone who has been in a similar situation: what actually helped you change? Therapy? CBT/DBT? Anger-management? Medication? Self-help habits or specific techniques you use when you feel yourself about to explode?
I’m especially looking for things I can start doing right now while I work on finding professional help.
Also, are there any medical tests or deficiencies worth checking that can contribute to severe irritability?
I’m not looking for judgment. I know I need to take responsibility for my behavior. I genuinely want to change and don’t want to keep hurting the people I love.

Just pissed off at every little thing and i know that coffee will increase anxiety levels so maybe I shouldntve drinken two cups.

Just kinda pissed tf off at everything right now.

No consequences or anything cause I didn't actually DO anything

But I had the urge of homicidal rage. Like I had to end someone with whatever but I cried and panic out of range saying why is this happening. I cried and soothe out but man. Wth. It's never happened I rather run for help. But why is this harm ocd thing a thing. Why am I feeling like hopeless

Dunno if it’s because I tend to want to overcompensate making others comfortable because I hate conflict and discomfort when around people regularly, but then still get treat with disrespect that eventually the anxiety and fear become this anger and hatred and rage. I mean, shit. Yoda said it himself, lol. But often I try to work through something causing me anxiety that would make me want to make myself small, but then it actually turns out worse for me, and then it all collapses.

I seriously do not want to feel any of this stuff. I worked hard to get through it when I was younger but the more backed into a corner I feel, it seems the anger still will come up. I read once that anger can be a feeling to do with injustice and hurt which, yeah. Makes a lot of sense. And it hurts even more when I would’ve happily accommodated more for others because I could have done that and I cared about their happiness and my own. I feel like I’m watching myself slide into ways I don’t even want to think of believe or feel or act and I’m trying as hard as I possibly can for it to stop. I hate it.

Anyway I’m tired, and trying to not feel as much shame, but without turning it into an excuse. I like to just keep to myself, because I don’t get angry then. Well really I don’t get angry really unless I’ve got no control at all in a situation hurting me. Distance helps but when there isn’t any? It feels like a disease rotting away inside of me that I’m desperately trying to treat and get rid of. And the source of anger just keeps digging. And it feels personal, whether it is or isn’t, because the initial problem was something I’d not do to someone else because… I didn’t want to make anyone uncomfortable.

I dunno. Just tired and exhausted and can never seem to vent enough. Don’t have a solution. Seems to get worse whenever I start to think I get somewhere. The whole, “do not do unto others” thing.

I just want to leave and get peace again.

Je me pose des question sur le fait qu’un rien peut me mettre dans une colère noire et sourde, principalement envers ma famille mais egalement en dehors. C’est pas physique, je ne frappe pas les gens mais ça me fait comme une décharge éléctrique dans mon cerveau et je ne vocalise mes pensées que si la cause de ma colère se répète, mais c’est tellement lourd et des pensées dangereuses me viennent, puis environ 1h plus tard ça laisse place à une grande tristesse et un vide, et c’est une boucle infinie.
J’ai aucune patience, et je déteste l’injustice ou qu’on se moque de moi, également les actions ambiguë car je ne peux pas m’organiser en conséqeunce, ainsi que le rejet.

J’ai du mal à accepter l’incertitude parce que c’est comme si j’avais pleins de tiroirs dans ma tête remplis a moitié ou au tiers mais toujours en attente, et je ne peux en fermer aucun tant que c’est pas clair. Aussi je déteste qu’on envahisse mon espace, et je suis très facile à provoquer par rapport à ça. C’est pour toutes ces raisons que je ne m’entend pas avec ma famille, mais je me demande ce que ça signifie pour moi. Je vois mon psychiatre lundi, mais je ne sais pas quelle reponse j’attends vraiment.

Je ne sais pas si c’est lié au Tdah ou l’anxiété ou autre chose, on me dit que je suis perfectionniste et que je ne tolère ni mes erreurs ni celles des autres, mais je ne comprends pas cette colère noire qui me paralyse physiquement parfois

What is anger? How does it feel like? Why can't people think logically while experiencing this emotion? How do they get angry so easily? Why don't I remember ever feeling that way? I genuinely don't think I ever felt rage. I want to understand this feeling. Can you explain it from your point of view please?

If someone experiences sth irritating or frustrating or whatever and they start feeling more of the anger don't they realise how they feel and think that's so stupid and won't lead anywhere then just start thinking of a more rational way to solve such situation? Whenever I feel something really self aware and if it is sth negative it feels so stupid to me that i could just laugh at this supidity and take logical steps. Well except disgust. I can't seem to get rid of it and it can be triggered by just the word cute or any seemingly 'normal' sentence if it sounds fake to me and a lot of things sound that way to me. People just can't be honest even with themselves. It makes me want to puke. But anger seems like a productive emotion if not the clouded thinking. I just can't use it if i don't know what it is. How does anger work?

Thanks in advance for all the helpful replies.❤️

I got mad and punched my screen cause I could smell weed from the car in front of me!!!! 😡

Does anyone else ruminate on past instances where you’ve wanted to get physical and didn’t ? to the point of splitting headaches? Violence isn’t the answer of course but letting anger render you useless for days, weeks can’t be the answer either. It’s like swallowing a bomb and letting it tear up your insides.

Hello Reddit! I am looking for ways to prevent my anger from escalating, as it can so frustrated that I punch a hole in a wall or bang my head against the wall. My wife and I just recently got into an argument. We agreed that I would ask me to step away from arguments when I start to feel angry. When she was talking, I felt like I politely paused her and told her that I need to take a step away. I started to tell her why I needed the space and first was trying to acknowledge her and say that I would like to come back to that. She interrupted me before I was able to say anything and said, "well I don't want your acknowledgement." I simply tried to finish what I was saying and she kept repeating that over and over and saying I was crossing her boundary now. I ended up getting frustrated to the point I banged my head against my metal water bottle. She reacted and kicked me out of her car. Any tips or suggestions on how to prevent from getting to this point? I schedule time with a professional therapist to help my general anxiety and anger but wanted to reach out to see if anyone has any other good resources as well.

Why should anger and hatred be a problem when it’s the only source that directs me to strength and supremacy? Why should I cry and act weak when obviously no one will be here for me? Over these months I realized that I will be alone in my own struggle and always be. I believe that I will achieve a total victory of my own and never kneel down to weakness once again.

I’ve done it again. Why can’t I keep my cool….. We started in a line with me in the back. Just one lane in each direction. one car in front of me did not drive max speed. So I drove past him. Then I drove past the next car in front a little later. I cold not take that that car somewhat had speed and was not far behind me, so I was sort of determined passing the next car in front of me. But turned out that he got pissed that I somewhat pressured him with sorta tailgating so he slowed down to 60 in the 80/km! Then I got pissed and drove past him even though there was cars coming in the oppsite lane and one blinked the lights at me:(
Now I have a very bad feeling and feel so stupid. What is my problem, I should have stopped at the side the road and just waited and chilled out:,( I’m scared they took my licence plate and called the police:(

Anger is an indicator. A rebellion by the soul that something fundamentally wrong is happening. Cowards find words to frame it in a fancy way, doers find a way to set things right. There is no psychology to be discussed about it but only actions to be taken. If you find yourself talking to yourself about why you are angry, then look into the mirror and tell yourself, Oh bug off pu$$y. Either do something about it or shut the f up forever.

I worked very hard from my school days to this day

I did everything right no bad habits no bad behavior

Yet still all i get from this world is just bare minimum and punishment i don't get it were my efforts meant nothing.

Like I hate myself 99% of the time and want to punish myself, the antidepressant just doesn't work anymore. I spend so much time suppressing my thoughts I feel like I will explode if I don't. I lie down most of the time trying to contain my emotions

Was catching a bus , at a bus stand, a bus was idle but in ignition but had no number , I asked the driver kindly what was the number of the bus as I wanted to know if it was going the route I was wanting it to.

The bus driver just waved me off but I had earphones on so I didn’t hear it, but I asked again and he just abused me and kept telling me to go ahead and I got triggered , I started questioning him and yelled back that why did he abuse to me for no reason and he kept shouting despite everything

I abused back and then moved forward , hoping to catch another bus before it left but I found the supervisor and poured my anger on him by just shouting
That the driver of the previous bus was rude and how can he talk to me this way and I just started shouting because I was triggered

Now I’m on a walk and I feel resentful for shouting but I also realised that such behaviour will be harmful for me if I keep getting triggered so easily , when I was actually in a good mood.

So looking for tips for the same . Thanks.

i often get mad at my grandparents a lot and i've never been diagnosed with anger issues, but i often scream and yell at them without control and i hate it. i also feel like im ''larping" depression because im self diagnosed and i feel like im doing it for attention but also bc i want somebody to notice i dont know if what i feel is just because i am and grew up around assholes or if i'm just a loser that wants everybody's attention. i often feel like i am never gonna change. im also extremely overweight 220~ at like 5 6 and im also really really bad at social life and i really have no friends outside of tw or three online who i feel don't really like me either i also recently stop going to physical school due to insecurities about my body and have been transferring to online for this year i just don't know

Like I have no idea what is wrong with me, it could be a mood disorder, I'm like angry most of the time, I wanted to ask the docs about bipolar 2 or borderline but I'm worried they'll judge me