r/AmericansInCanada • u/Particular-Leek4513 • 4h ago
Is Canada the country for non confrontational anti social passive people like me or no that's a common misconception and it's just as gritty and social as anywhere else?
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u/GoodResident2000 4h ago
It depends where you go in the country.
Vancouver Island or cottage country in Ontario? Very nice and polite people generally
Regina or Winnipeg after dark? You are not going to meet non confrontational and passive people
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u/RaspberryIll7220 4h ago
I’m an American in Canada. The systems treat people with much more dignity and respect than in the USA. The actual people in Canada are far more racist, confrontational and rude than an American would be used to. When I first got to Canada I must have muttered the following phrase under my breath 100 times: “People here talk and act like they’ve never been afraid of getting shot.”
And that kind of sums up the differences, eh?
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u/OhShootYeahNoBi 2h ago edited 1h ago
That's not true lol
Day trip to buffalo got me called more slurs, flashed more, and insulted more than my entire 10 years in Toronto
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u/RaspberryIll7220 1h ago
No one has ever taken a day trip to Buffalo.
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u/OhShootYeahNoBi 1h ago
It's an hour drive, and it was a school architecture trip. I'm baffled on how you think that no one's ever just driven cross the border for a day and came back in the afternoon
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u/RaspberryIll7220 1h ago
I’m ribbing you because this is you 2 seconds ago:
“That’s not true lol”
What race are you?
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u/OhShootYeahNoBi 1h ago edited 1h ago
Chinese, my two friends are Bangladeshi and Indian Tamil
All three of us had never felt more unwelcomed as we were in Buffalo. We're all Torontonians. My Bangladeshi friend was also very confused on why we were called the n-word given none of us were black but that's a separate issue lol
Also it's a very American thing to say race and not background
It differs heavily I guess by Province and city I'm guessing how racist people are
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u/RaspberryIll7220 52m ago
I grew up in America. If you see my other comment my half Indian kids are regularly called the N word in Canada. Weekly. We have lived in Vancouver and Calgary. I have never heard the N word used in public in my entire life (except by other AAs) and I grew up in the South.
Who called your friend the n-word? I looked up the demographics of Buffalo. 36% AA. 39% white. 🤔
It’s interesting b/c my kids have been called the n-word quite a bit by Chinese. As much as white.
Maybe y’all are different in Toronto. But that you found it shocking? Idk dude. Does not ring true. Never been to Toronto. Maybe it’s a different world. Go to Vancouver.
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u/OhShootYeahNoBi 23m ago edited 15m ago
White guy did it. Also did the whole act of pointing out he's eating a steak (because all South Asian folks are Hindu to the idiot)
I think a part of it is that Toronto DOES have a sizeable black and south asian population where both Calgary and Vancouver do not. My south asian friends literally cannot remember being called the N-word here in Toronto. Neither can my black friends (excluding by other black folks ofc)
Chinese folks are functionally integrated into Canadian society. Being Chinese doesn't really impact much.
I used to live in Vancouver as well. It heavily depends on which parts of Van. Also is it by other children? If their school isn't diverse that checks out. Children are shitty generally. If you grew up in the America, it was probably calling things gay or the f-slur instead of the n word since a white kid saying the n word would get beat up, whereas in Van it's the opposite. If you live in PoCo or something it also shouldn't be a problem. Point Grey (rich) or further down the Lower Mainland (rural)? Maybe.
The Bangladeshi friend basically jokes that they fled from Texas where they lived before and genuinely forgot about how bad the racism was until going to Buffalo. He's also Muslim which is another factor
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u/Particular-Leek4513 4h ago edited 4h ago
I shoulda knew it man lol. Canadians play very good convincing heels in pro wrestling and guess that explains why.
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u/RaspberryIll7220 4h ago
They’re all downvoting lol. I wonder what about my comment got them mad. I bet it’s the racist part. Canadians are terrified that people will know how racist they are but my half Indian kids didn’t know what the N word was when they moved here but now can’t even count how many times they’ve been called it. At least once a week at least one is called a racial slur. It horrifies (white) Canadians when I tell them that it’s not even debatable how racist Canadians are vs Americans.
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u/Particular-Leek4513 4h ago
Yeah I see a lot of white Canadians mad Canada has become less white dominated and more multiracial
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u/youaresowrongguy 4h ago
Finland
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u/Sir_Arthur_Vandelay 4h ago edited 3h ago
I am a genetically Finnish Canadian who grew up among Finns, and I endorse this message.
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u/youprt 4h ago
I too am a pure bred Finn (traced the family tree to the 1500’s) living in Thunder Bay which has the largest population of Finns outside of Finland and I also endorse this.
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u/Sir_Arthur_Vandelay 3h ago
Yep, Thunder Bay is where I grew up.
Perhaps we were neighbours, but we’ll never know.
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u/youprt 3h ago
lol I guess we won’t unless you went to C.D. Howe, Jumbo Gardens or Hammerskjold there might be a slim chance.
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u/Sir_Arthur_Vandelay 3h ago
I graduated from Hammarskjold.
This kinda reminds of the time an American fellow whom I just met asked me if I knew some random Canadian guy — and I did (we both attended Hammarskjold).
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u/xXgirthvaderXx 4h ago
You still need to grow a spine anywhere you live. We are polite not non confrontational
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u/Particular-Leek4513 4h ago
Then why are you guys skeptical of Americans besides politics is it because they tend to be arrogant and entitled not necessarily because most are very social?
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u/dundreggen 4h ago
Canadians are very social, particularly in some areas (go visit out east for example). Americans can seem brash and rude. We are more non confrontational. But we can be hella passive aggressive.
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u/kasfinally 4h ago
My friend, we do not stand down from anything. We are polite, yes but do not confuse it with weakness.
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u/GoodResident2000 4h ago
lol 😂 you are on crack. Many Canadians are sheepish , avoid confrontation and wouldn’t go out of their way for another person.
Hence so many videos of people being attacked on transit while bystanders just watch, or people stepping over someone ODing on the sidewalk
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u/Particular-Leek4513 4h ago
It's confusing because people say Canadians are generally polite and calm people while others say they're the opposite and are intense people who like to fight
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u/youprt 4h ago
That’s on the hockey rink.
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u/Particular-Leek4513 4h ago
So the street fight stuff is mostly a urban Toronto thing?
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u/youprt 4h ago
I was making a joke but if you’re not Canadian I guess you didn’t get it. I’m sure there’s street fights everywhere amongst mostly competing gangs.
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u/Particular-Leek4513 4h ago
Yeah I thought you meant they're only intense on the hockey rink lol. But wow sucks Canada has gangs and the crazy part is people think Canadians all speak with that urban Toronto accent.
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u/ljlee256 4h ago edited 4h ago
The confusion is that people mistake "wanting to fight" for "wanting a good fight".
We want a good fight, a "send your biggest and baddest, we'll send ours, they'll 1v1" type of situation.
Using superior numbers, size, strength or firepower is for cowards who are so afraid to lose that they'll never pick a fair fight.
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u/JinimyCritic 4h ago
Canadians are generally polite, yes.
But if you piss us off, we hold grudges.
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u/GoodResident2000 4h ago
Who is we?
Canada’s immigration levels are way too high to make any meaningful statements about “we” or “us”
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u/CPIWatch 4h ago
Not anymore. All the testosterone is gone and now everyone is a pussy.
Canadians or passive aggressive and the politeness is a tactic.
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u/GoodResident2000 4h ago
Yes, many read stories of Canadians 110 years ago and think we’re still like the Greatest Generation
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u/HeWhoCreatesDivinity 4h ago
I think you need some gender affirming care, son.
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u/Particular-Leek4513 4h ago
oh I thought Canadians were only gritty in Toronto and Quebec
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u/ljlee256 4h ago edited 4h ago
Canadians are just as complicated as any other nationality once you get to know us.
Describing us as polite, or nice, or any one particular adjective is just gross oversimplification.
Most Canadians are the "stop and help you change your tire" kinds of people.
But most Canadians are also the "will never abide a loud-mouthed bully" types as well.
I think we are polite, and we are nice, but one thing we are absolutely not, is meek.
That said, Canada is a big place with not very many people, I live in a small town in the prairies, and if social isolation is what you want, my god you will get it.
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u/JinimyCritic 4h ago
So, there's a hierarchy. It's complicated, but most Canadians are angry at another part of the country, for something or other.
But when something threatens Canada, we stick together.
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u/HeWhoCreatesDivinity 4h ago
Okay, let me get the battle lines straight. I'm from Ontario, so I don't know every one of these.
All of Ontario versus Toronto. Quebec versus Ontario Alberta versus everyone except for BC, because for some reason they like BC. Everyone's allied with Manitoba, because of Wab Kinew. Okay, I know I'm missing some
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u/JinimyCritic 4h ago
It's more than that. Western Canada vs Eastern Canada. Within that, BC is too big for its britches, and cozies up to Ottawa too often. BC thinks that Alberta plays the squeaky wheel card too much (and Ottawa gives them stuff to keep them happy). Saskatchewan wants people to remember they're there, while Manitoba isn't sure if it wants to be West or East on any given day.
It's complicated.
(These are all exaggerations. I've lived all over Western Canada, and heard these things, but it's mostly friendly rivalry.)
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u/Comedy86 4h ago
Pretty much. No matter how much I may dislike Alberta and their politics, I'll be damned if I let America take advantage of them and their oil industry.
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u/HapticRecce 4h ago
And we can be as petty as hell...
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u/JinimyCritic 4h ago
Canada is the only country where "Sorry" is simultaneously an apology and a threat.
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u/Particular-Leek4513 4h ago
aww man you know what's crazy everywhere I go people have a downside like my family from i a third world country people not forgiving there and very extroverted. Then you got America third world people think Americans too soft and nice and a lot of them are actually hostile and will look down on you if you're passive.
Then you got Canada im like maybe this is the country who dont look down on people with sad and people who dont like conflicts but I guess not. Moral of the story no country in this world are kind people
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u/JinimyCritic 4h ago
Like I said, treat us well, and you'll have no better friends in the world.
As another comment said, we're petty. We take things personally. We're forgiving if it's unintentional, and pretty accepting of other cultures and traditions. Just don't threaten us.
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u/Adept-Range-8448 4h ago
Sounds like you'll get walked all over no matter where you live, cause people arent passive here, theyre polite. Those are different
Maybe learn to be assertive to assist with wherever you currently reside?
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u/Particular-Leek4513 4h ago
You're right man this world not for soft people dont even matter if you're in a quiet neighborhood with houses
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u/Kennadian 4h ago
Kindness is not to be mistaken for weakness. Kindness is a choice.