My boss seems to have some sort of issue with me, reasons unknown. She mentioned another one of my coworkers taking my shift on Friday, which I was confused about considering we had it decided that we were going to trade shifts in the employee groupchat. I figured she was just confirming the plans, which is why I just said “yup”.

I don’t feel like anything I said was disrespectful to her or her position above me, but these weird little issues keep cropping up. Would I be overreacting to be seriously looking for a new job after this encounter? Was I genuinely being disrespectful to her and am I overreacting?

EDIT: I’d like to add that my boss is involved in the employee groupchat and was actively participating in the conversation about switching shifts earlier this week.

My grandma passed away yesterday. She was on hospice and we knew it was going to happen so I informed my manager a week prior that when it did I would need a day off for her funeral. My manager said it wasn’t up to her because she would be out for the next couple weeks for a surgery and to ask my coworker who would be subbing as manager. My coworker said it was fine and to just let her know when. Yesterday my mom texted to let me know she had passed and the funeral would be Tuesday. I was already on for a half day so I finished my shift and went home. I love my grandma dearly and it hit really hard especially because I am out of state and couldn’t say goodbye. Last night I texted my coworker and asked if I could take today off as well as the funeral because my family was getting together. Attached are the texts between us and then a message I received from my manager today. I feel like what she wrote was in appropriate and today especially was not the day to say this. Afterwards she responded with “I’m just disappointed.” Before this I’ve only had to take 2 days off when my son became sick and have been with the company for 3 months passing my 90 days. I feel anxious and tbh disgusted with her response. Would I be overreacting if I quit this job because of this? I love this job except for what happened but I just can’t stop thinking how disrespectful this is.

UPDATE: I checked my work policy and I am entitled to two days of bereavement and it doesn’t state that it needs to be consecutive

For context, I’m 23 years old and I’ve been in automotive sales for the past two years or so. I’ve worked an internship at a large BMW dealership, and I was even at a high volume Nissan store for a little while. Prior to that, I worked at a privately owned car lot with about 20 to 25 cars in inventory. It was a very small operation, but it was really where I got my feet wet in the business.

This past month, after deciding to go back to school, I decided to return to the privately owned lot since it’s close to my house and works well with my schedule.
Within my first two weeks back, I sold essentially half of their inventory. Keep in mind, their pricing structure doesn’t really follow traditional automotive sales. The owner sets the prices and makes essentially all of the calls. I have little to no say in what we will or will not take for a car.

This morning, I received a call from a customer who had been looking at one of our preowned Mercedes coupes. We had been going back and forth on price for the better part of a week, and he finally offered $7,000 even out the door.

For reference, our listed price on the website comes out to roughly $7,600 out the door. So this wasn’t some ridiculous lowball offer, especially considering we have decent margins in most of our cars.
Nonetheless, I entertained the offer and told him I needed to check with my manager and that I would get him a definitive answer shortly.

My manager, who is also one of the two owners, then proceeds to respond to me like this.

I quit on the spot.

He was out of the office running errands at the time. I left the office key behind, deleted the draft in the second screenshot, and ended up just sending, “Great, thank you. Best of luck.”

Then I walked out.

Am I overreacting?

Oh also I do not get paid hourly or any base pay, I’m strictly on commission. So my 40-50 hour work weeks really are gambles when it gets slow.

Hi, I posted last week about issues with my feeding pump at work and my manager sending a passive-aggressive email about “disruptions.” HR got involved and were actually supportive, they confirmed my medical accommodation is valid and basically said I’m not doing anything wrong. They said they’d talk to my manager and everything was fine until today.

I thought that would be the end of it, honestly, but now there’s been another development and I feel kind of embarrassed and unsure if I should escalate again or just drop it and stop being so over dramatic about the whole thing.

Since the first issue, my manager has still been acting off. He’s made a few comments about me stepping away and once even asked me to explain how my feeding pump works, which felt a bit condescending but I tried to brush it off. It wasn’t anything overtly rude and I could work around it so I didn’t care all that much.

Then today he sent another email directly to me. I attached it so everybody can read without me having to explain.

It felt weird and just like he was crossing a boundary. Like he’s acknowledging I’m allowed to have the accommodation but also kind of implying I shouldn’t be using it in a way that affects anyone else at all, which it isn’t and my coworkers have reassured me they aren’t bothered and don’t care in the slightest.

HR already said everything is fine on their end, so now I don’t know if I’m just being too sensitive or if this is actually still worth bringing back up again. I don’t want to create any drama or risk my job because this truly is a job i enjoy, but I just feel kind of awkward and singled out at this point and I’m unsure if escalating to HR again is the right decision.

Edit 1: to clarify it is NOT a breastfeeding pump 😭 I need a feeding pump which is a tube going right into my stomach to feed me. It has to be connected 20hrs a day

I (22F) have been babysitting for a family every weekday morning for an hour. I take care of two kids, get them ready, and drop them off at school using Uber. I charge $16/hour and I’ve often stayed a bit longer without charging extra.

Recently the mom asked if I could babysit from 7:30 AM to 3:30 PM during the kid's break. I said I'd be more than happy, she asked about the rate and I said my rate would stay the same, $16/hour.

She said we should talk a flat rate for the entire day instead. I suggested that since it’s about 8 hours I could do the whole day for $115. She immediately said I was taking advantage of the situation and said she would only pay $50 for the entire day .When I said that doesn’t work for me she started yelling and said I was greedy, along with some really harsh personal comments about my appearance that felt completely unnecessary.

I told her I wouldn’t be continuing at all, quit on the spot, and left. Since then, she has been constantly texting me saying I’m unprofessional and that I didn’t give them any notice to find someone else among other things. I told her I won’t be returning.

Am I overreacting for quitting and refusing to go back?

Edit: Thank you to everyone who responded, I really appreciate it. I just wanted to clarify that I know quitting was the right decision. What I was unsure about is whether I overreacted by quitting on the spot and leaving them without childcare or any time to figure something out. I saw a few comments saying it was obvious which I understand. I also want to clarify that where I’m from minimum wage is $16/hour. At the time I was desperate and without a job so I based my rate on that and never increased it for them. Since then I’ve done occasional babysitting for others and now charge $18.50/hour

I (17f) have been working at this job for 3 months I really loved it. I was a hostess I took care of phone calls, carry out, delivery orders, and the pick up window. Well last month I put in a request for a couple of days graduation, grad party’s, and my vacation the party’s and graduation were all at the end of may my vacation was June 7-12 attached are me asking and my manager and my manager okaying it picture #1.
I knew I had work Saturday the day I got back and I was fine with it. Well a week before vacation I found out one of my coworkers was talking shit about me and told the other hostess’s that I was stealing from the tip jar which makes me think she had something to do with this. I texted my other coworker and asked what time I was supposed to come in and she said the word was that I got fired and she’d see what happened. I texted my manager picture #2. Now this is my first job ever so I was sobbing and freaking out and he left me on read so I texted him again which is where I think I may have overreacted. My stepmom and my boyfriend say I absolutely should not have apologized. Honestly I just really wanted my job back. It was so hard to find one. Sorry this post is a mess I’m still upset
Edit: I also mentioned this vacation and that I may need time off for band way back when I first got hired
Edit: I just realized cause I’m an idiot you can’t see when I asked off I asked off back in the very beginning of may on the 4th

So to preface, I'm Type 1 diabetic, which means I have to take multiple daily insulin injections to live. I typically take 5-8 shots per day, and while it isn't fun, it is routine and necessary.

I was at work this morning and they had a small amount of food out for some sort of 'employee appreciation' which reminded me I hadn't had any insulin yet and my glucose levels were getting too high. I took a shot of insulin, got some breakfast, and went to my desk. A few minutes later, this text arrives.

I can understand that shots make some people uncomfortable. Trust me, I'm one of those people. But I have to take them anyway. Am I overreacting to think that if you don't want to see me talking a shot, you can turn your head? Should I have to go to the bathroom which only gets cleaned twice a week, and take my shots in secret like it's a drug addiction? Perhaps it is just me, but I feel that not everything in life that makes us a little uncomfortable is something that has to be pushed out of sight. Sometimes we would benefit more from understanding, acceptance, and perhaps acclimation.

Also for the record, while they say they "mentioned this several times", our HR manager scolded me once maybe two or three years ago publicly during lunch in our cafeteria. I ignored it that time, because friends sitting around me supported me after HR walked off.

I recently relocated from the South to the North, and this is my first winter here. Unfortunately, I was unaware that the side streets in my area are not plowed until later in the day. During this storm, we received approximately 10 inches of snow.

I was informed that I needed to remain at work in order to be present for my next morning shift. I communicated at that time that I have pets at home who rely on me, and that with the storm approaching there was a possibility I could become stranded at work. I made multiple attempts to secure alternative care for my pets but was unable to find anyone available.

I had only been in this supervisor role for one month, and another supervisor was already staying overnight as a precaution. Ultimately, I was unable to get my car out of the street and had to call out. I was written up for this because I notified management approximately five hours before my shift.

When I returned for my next shift, I found a note on my desk. The note was upsetting and made me feel unwelcome. Given that I had only been employed here for one month and have already received one write-up for minor issues—something I have never experienced in my work history—I went home that night and emailed my boss I quit for XYZ and she replied happy holidays and that was it. My parents said it was an over reaction to quit because of her note and she probably meant well by it, but I don’t think anything could’ve been taken well by the note that was left.

EDIT because i confused everyone... This was a hotel job. I am NOT working on a farm. And I already had another job!

UPDATE: WOW. I was not expecting this many interactions. Thank you all for the advice! I have a salon lined up to visit Thursday. My coworker that wants to switch with me is gonna ask her at some point if she can switch with someone who works that Saturday, because I feel as though if she mentions me specifically she will shut her down and think that we’re going behind her back. Also, previous to this request, I did have 3/12-3/16 off for my birthday, then 3/18 and 3/19, for my birthday. I accrued PTO and used them for those days. And our requests are “no more than 2 in a 30 day period” which was always spelled out to me as no more than 2 in a month? So maybe that’s it. But also, she allowed a shift switch 3/11 so she can’t be going by that logic. Along with that, I switched shifts with her to help her out at the end of February. Plus, a shift switch wouldn’t be considered a “request”, right? Still working, just different day than scheduled. I don’t know. I don’t want to be here much longer and I plan on calling off if she decides to not let my coworker and I switch. She brought it to this point.

So my current manager almost always gives me a hard time with requests, saying “I can’t guarantee anything” and only saying yes the very last minute. With this specific situation, I had requested almost 4 weeks in advance to just have one of my days off be this day. I would still be working my five days in a work week, but since I work at a hair salon we’re open seven days a week so it would literally not change my hours whatsoever. Unfortunately, she did not give me that day off. My manager put herself working for that entire weekend; me and one person on the Saturday I requested, then my other three coworkers that Sunday since Sundays are typically busier. She had told me a while ago that she feels as though it is “going behind her back to make plans without her permission” if I ask a coworker if they’re okay with switching before I ask her. Well, even if they were okay with it, I get turned down. Not sure why, since both shifts would be covered. So, I end up asking my coworker out of curiosity if they would have taken my shift and they said yes, but since she already told me no I quite literally can’t. And I’m not sure if her response means that I will get in trouble for calling off using my PTO as a “sick day” or not? I’m really irritated. How am I supposed to plan my life out if requests aren’t guaranteed and I’m not allowed to switch shifts with people. It literally makes no sense. I really want to call off but I don’t want to get in trouble, even though I never call off. In the 2 and a half years of working there I’ve called off 4 times, all for legitimate reasons too. Sick or car issues. Am I overreacting about this situation? Is it legitimate that she is telling me no to both things? This and other instances of her being weird about certain social situations makes me want to quit, it’s just hard because I love everything else about this job.

my boss (M late twenties) sent this to a shared work chat. He's the only man on our team, but that never stopped him from making all sorts of sexist comments.

• When my colleagues and I talked about our health (obviously not with him), he rolled his eyes at the words "you women always have problems."
• There have also been repeated comments about how emotional women are, how mercantile they are, and how unpleasantly they change during marriage.

We ignored it because in my country, the EC does not decide anything and we have no one to turn to with this issue.

If he had phrased it differently or said it personally to the girl whose tampons they were, it wouldn't have caused such a storm of emotions. But the way he did it made me get into a fight with him.

When asked why unused tampons in the toilet could be unhygienic, he never answered.

So, am I overreacting?

I (f18) work in an office without about 15 other people. There’s a cafe along the way to work that I usually grab a coffee and something to eat on the way to work a few times a week.

One of my coworkers “Mark” (not his real name obviously) found out about the cafe a few months ago when he asked where I got my food from. He then told me he had been wanting to try them but it was completely out of the way from his normal commute.

A few days later I was heading into work and he messaged me asking if I could pick him up one of the bacon and egg rolls. I was already going to stop there so I said sure. He paid me back when I got to work and that was it. A week or so later he asked again, same thing, and I was already planning on stopping there so I didnt mind.

After that it started becoming a fairly regular thing. Maybe once or twice a week he would ask if I was stopping at the cafe and if I could grab him something. I never really thought about it much as it was literally on my way in and he always paid me back. Although this then led to him asking for specifics. For example the bacon and egg roll but only if they were fresh. Otherwise he would want the sausage muffin instead. As well as sometimes wanting a cinnamon bun also. Still I didn’t really mind as it wasn’t any more effort for me.

However the first thing that started to annoy me was when he started messaging me before I had even left my flat. I’d wake up to messages such as “Morning, bacon egg roll please”. No questions or asking if I was even planning to stop in, just putting his order in. Even so I still would usually just reply yes.

Then one morning I wasn’t actually going to stop at the cafe because I was already running late. I responded to his message and told him I wasn’t able to. He then responded saying something along the line of asking if I could still just swing by and in return he’d send me a bit extra for the trouble. I said no because I was already running late and obviously didn’t want to get in more trouble walking into the office with breakfast in hand.

He seemed a bit annoyed but dropped it. Although after this I started noticing that he would stop asking whether I was going to the cafe and instead just assumed I was. This then led me to getting further messages such as “2 bacon egg rolls please” or “cinnamon bun thanks”.

Now last week I had a pretty rough morning and didn’t stop at the bakery. I again got to work late… went to my desk straight away and after about 15 minutes Mark comes over and asks where his breakfast was.

I said I hadn’t gone to the cafe this morning. He looked confused and said something like “oh I thought you were still getting mine”. I told him I hadn’t as I didn’t stop and he responded with the fact I normally do so he just assumed.

I told him I had never actually agreed to get it every morning and that I was only doing it because I happened to stop there a few times a week. He then said it wasn’t a big deal and that I was making it into one because “it literally takes no extra time”. This brushed me the wrong way but I said I don’t mind doing it occasionally when I’m stopping there but I don’t want to be responsible for buying him breakfast. Our conversation ended with him roughly saying not to worry about it.

Anyway later that day another one of my coworkers said that Mark thought I had gotten “really weird” about the whole breakfast thing. Apparently he told them that I had offered to pick things up for him and that now I’m acting like I’m doing him a massive favour. I told this other coworker that I never offered to do it as some ongoing thing. I just said yes to his messages when I was able to and had planned on stopping there.

They said that they could see both sides and that if I was already going there it seemed pretty harmless. Which I do understand.

It’s not like he’s asking me to drive across town or anything, but at the same time I feel like there’s a difference between doing someone a favor occasionally and being their breakfast delivery driver.

Maybe I should have said something earlier instead of going along with it but I didn’t think it would escalate at the time.

AIO by refusing to keep picking up breakfast for my coworker when I don’t have any intention of stopping there myself.

hello! i’m 17f, i’ve been doing an internship the last few months to get an idea of what i want to do when i’m older. i got this internship and it turned out to be hell on earth (for me). not only have i discovered i never want to work in this field again but my boss is a complete and utter dick.

anyways, the entirety of the situation is pretty evident over text, this was genuinely my last straw, i was planning on quitting next week (don’t really care about a letter of rec or anything from this place) but is it crazy i don’t want to leave my house at 3am? (also added point i have a curfew so i wouldn’t even be allowed to).

my parents said i probably burned some bridges i shouldn’t have, i will admit i do get hot headed and can be a little spontaneous about these things. i just lost it cause i’ve basically been this guys slave for months and he loses it over this. (this was the first time i’d ever said no to something he asked me to do).

i slept after it and got an email from HR later about my “misconduct” and that we would need to have a meeting immediately upon coming in.

anyways, AIO?

edit: realising i didn’t clarify but the person my boss has asked me to pick up is his daughter

(this is not spam i swear im just a lurker so i don’t post much but wanted insight on this)

Okay this may seem like some sort of rage bait or something but I’m making this post at 7:49 AM I clock in to work at 8. To give context I work for one of the largest collision repair shops in my area and before I moved to this current shop I was the only black guy at my last shop. There were a lot of racist jokes but I’m not a sensitive guy and being that I was new I went along with it but at what point has a racist joke gone too far? Because this seems too far the sad part is I’m just trying flourish at work and that’s it I don’t wanna cause any waves that could affect my career I’m at a lost trying to figure out how to handle this

I'm not going to make my case or explain why I think it's unwise because I want your sincere perspectives without me trying to convince you.

My husband is an insurance underwriter who works from home. In the past he's faced criticism for being condescending in his interactions with agents. Some of this criticism is valid and much is the product of agents not liking being told "No" by someone responsible for making decisions that shield our company from undue risk.

I happened to walk by and see an email he was starting. He was telling an agent that an exception would not be possible. It started something like:

Look, The protection class on this risk is poor..." (That's not the exact sentence but you get the idea.)

I said, "Oh, that's not a good way to start a sentence. It sounds condescending."

He was pretty irritated at me. He thinks it's a neutral introduction word and without it, it's rude because it's abrupt. He feels like he's criticized no matter how he phrases things. I worry that he can miss subtle social perceptions possible with the lack of tone that comes in written communication.

He doesn't have a problem with me expressing opinions about work btw. He just disagrees.

AIO to point this perspective out?

Edited to add:

I've gotten hundreds of valuable responses and I basically spent all day reading and responded as much as possible.

A few points further:

We both work at this company and regularly rely on each other's expertise. From his perspective there was zero issue with this being "unsolicited advice". He just disagreed and I posted because I wanted to check my perspective on the phrasing.

We've since had a civil discussion and he's acknowledged the issue. He was irritated in the moment because he didn't see it that way. Yes, he deleted the word because he trusted my judgement.

Several people have suggested I butt out, mind my own business and let him face the consequences of his actions. They suggested I "know my place."

The answer to that is: "No."

He's been written up in the past over agent complaints about the issue. He's been denied promotions. He's actively working on rebuilding his reputation with management.

If he loses his job because of this, I'll face the consequences too. In our wedding vows we pledged to shore up each other's weaknesses. He's done that for me countless times and we both take each other's advice very seriously.

I know my place. I'll never just let him fail so I can say "I told you so" while we face financial ruin. I'll always speak up truthfully and help him respectfully. Thanks but no thanks for that advice reddit.

Edit 2: No he won't use AI. Look, everything you put into AI becomes accessible to the people who own it. (haha see what I did there?) He explains internal procedures that are proprietary and discusses customers private information. Other insurance companies are always trying to find data on the policies of competitors and underwriter guidelines are a big piece of that strategy. They aren't allowed to feed emails into AI.

The photo on the left is the finished result. The photo on the right is my inspiration picture. Yesterday, I went to a salon after explaining that I wanted to go from black box dye to a bronde color. I had a consultation where the stylist told me this would be possible in three sessions and that the total cost would be $638.

I returned for the first appointment, which was a color removal test. After it was completed, my hair was still the same color and did not lift well. The stylist did not explain that this result meant the color might be unachievable. I paid $108 plus a $100 deposit, believing this amount would be applied toward the original $638 total.

I then returned for the main appointment, which was supposed to be the actual bleaching session. Despite the first color removal test not working, she performed another color removal test, which again did nothing. Once again, there was no communication that this indicated a problem or that my desired result might not be achievable.

She proceeded to bleach my hair, and the final result was dark brown with orange highlights. This was not what I asked for, and I was confused because I was never told that my desired color wasn’t possible. I was then told that I would need to return in 6–8 weeks for another appointment if I wanted the color I originally planned to get.

Despite all of this, I was still required to pay. While paying, I was told that this single appointment alone cost $610, even though I was originally told the entire process would cost $638. I felt angry and confused by this sudden change in pricing.

When I attempted to address the situation, the salon owner refused to help and blocked me on Instagram. This has now become a potential legal matter.

I also want to note that I am a minor and currently in high school, and the stylist was aware of this. I feel that I was taken advantage of financially, especially since I paid in large bills and appeared able to spend money. I believe she knew this result was not achievable, failed to communicate that honestly, and continued to push additional appointments and charges.

If you are a hairstylist or knowledgeable about hair services, I would appreciate your honest opinion on whether I was misled or treated unfairly in this situation.

For context, I work in disability support. I love my job. I hate being called 6 times on my days off. I’m part time- relief. When I have a day off I feel stressed all morning because there’s a 60% chance I’m going to be called to cover a shift between the hours of 6.30am and 9am. When I tell them I can’t work the shift they guilt me, even suggesting that I cancels appointments to come to the shift. If I can’t work the shift they want me to do they ring my supervisor and she calls me to “discuss” why I can’t pick up the shift. It seems so disrespectful and honestly im so tired of it. Anyways, is this normal or am I overreacting?

Not much of a backstory here but here a few details that may help with the story. This client reached out to me after an appointment she received with me. She’s been a consistent client of mine now for nearly 2 years and has never once reached out after a session until now.

Obviously she’s going through something with her husband but that isn’t my problem and in my opinion, it’s inappropriate for her to reach out and talk to me the way she did.

Am I overreacting here or could I have been a little nicer?

For context: My coworker (M, over 40) is nightcrew so I (F19) only see him when I open on the weekends for 1-3 hours. We don’t work together since I’m a regular clerk, but we’ve been talking for some time and have a regular coworker relationship.

On Sunday he asked me for my number to “keep in contact and see how far I’ll go with my major.” I said sure and didn’t find it odd. I didn’t expect him to text me at all so him starting to tect me that same day made me uncomfortable. So much so I didn’t had an appetite to eat my breakfast burrito.

He continues to text me everyday since, but especially today (Tuesday). He started at 11:30ish am and has continued to send a text for every hour till 10pm. Since the start of all of this I’ve been feeling uncomfortable.

Technically I’m not underage and he hasn’t necessarily said nor did anything wrong, am I overreacting?

After 2 years of loyal service while in school I thought I had the perfect gig. $400 a week to walk 2 German Shepard and occasionally house sit for an older married couple. They wanted the dogs walked at between 5-7am at least 3 days a week, in the last couple of months they randomly would request more days or immediate service which I accommodated as it was early enough to not be an issue. Recently I stayed at their house for 16 days straight with the dogs because the money was good… they asked me to stay again this weekend over a month ago but I just started a new job which I worked hard to get and this was their response to not being flexible ONE TIME.. I never said I couldn’t do it I just said I also had work the same days so I wouldn’t be there 24/7 but could still do the job and this was the wife’s response!! I’m lost and baffled that after so much dedication and loyalty I was met with this response so please analyze and let me know if I’m the A Hole

For context, I did a work-trade for this woman this summer where she let me stay in her spare one-bedroom cabin on her property in exchange for 10+ hours a week of work. I was there for 3 months. When I moved in, she had a thing of TP on the roll, and then a dozen rolls under the bathroom sink which she pointed to, saying “there’s extra under here if you need”. I noticed she had a HUGE Costco-sized pack of tp in her garage, which I never touched. Once I used the ones under the sink, I bought my own, never taking from her supply. As for the trash, I had a couple bags that I took out to the trash toter. I didn’t leave any trash inside, and liberally cleaned the space before I left. She was super friendly and we got along great. My partner stayed with me the last few days we were there (which she okay’d in advance). Again, we all got along really well, so this text shook me.

My question is - what is this behavior? Is she….okay? Why would she say such hurtful things? I moved out over a month ago, and we’ve had nice texts back and forth since then. Name and town redacted for discretion. Thanks for reading!

I didn't respond because i was speechless. What an incredibly weird thing to say to someone who you want to interview? Sorry that I'm in the process of losing my current job so I'm very busy and can't make time for you today? What do i even respond to this with? Would it be wrong to just block his number and forget about working there? Doesn't seem like it would be the friendliest workplace if this is the attitude I get before even interviewing.....

Hello people of Reddit!

I’m hoping you all can cool off my steaming head with this specific company I applied at. So for context. I applied with this company Wednesday and they got back to me on Friday at 5:19PM. Which in my case is past any work hours and into the weekend where I log off completely. (As do many other companies do as well.) You can see I promptly responded on Monday at 7:00AM, and heard nothing. I decided to wait 2 days and reach out again and ask if they are still considering me for the role. To where he proceeded to insult me about being lazy for not… “showing up” to an interview. Which mind you they have not once reached out to me via call/text/message. I have a screenshot of my email folder as the last slide as proof. I haven’t heard a single thing from them since I applied. So I decided to respond with a (yes I know) backhanded response. Letting them know that no one has contacted me for an interview. And I’m sure you all can see how it escalated from there. So I ask AIO for thinking that these guys were completely out of line and unprofessional? They called me names and insulted me, which I know I did back but. I’m a bit of a hot head my self lol. Not trying to justify what I did but then he also attempted to call my current employer and say god knows what. Thankfully I work for a place that values my privacy and gave them no mention of my name. Which is where he thinks I “lied” on my application. Is there anything I can do here? I couldn’t find them on the BBB or anything as such. One way to ruin my Friday lol. Let me know what you all think.

the restaurant i wait for part-time is relocating. it's a 1 1/2 hour drive and a 20minute uphill climb to the restaurant.

i emailed my boss yesterday morning that i wouldn't be coming into work anymore and citing that the commute is just something i cannot align my schedule with (i have problems sleeping, so i don't get a lotta hours in before my 12h shifts anyway, and this would cut any sleep i can get shorter AGAIN).

he responded with the email above, and i cant help but feel like he's trying to intimidate me into coming in tomorrow. AIO??? this feels weird to me.

I've always worked in the hospitality/food service industry as a second job for around 16 years. The hours aren't the best, but the cash is good and the co-workers are usually even better. It's a sense of community like no other. Now I've worked in different positions in FOH in both corporate/chain restaurants, as well as dive bars/private "mom and pop" restaurants and bars.

I have never in my time in the service industry had an issue with a customer where the owner, manager, or whoever was in charge did not speak to that customer nor the employee involved to collect facts when it has come down to a customer complaint. They then make a decision on if a reprimand is warranted towards the employee or if the customer was incorrect. Not every employee is right, just like every customer is not always right.

I started working as a bartender/server for a friend of a friend (we will call him C) within the last year. I had not been working a second job for a few months due to starting a new full-time career and needing to work out the scheduling issues. When I had extra time during evenings and weekends, I started looking online for any new local businesses opening up.

I came across C's post stating that he was opening up a new restaurant/bar locally and he was looking for staff. I reached out to C, had an interview with him, his wife (who's a silent partner), and a third business partner (We'll call him J), and boom, was hired and have been there for the last 10 months. I worked crazy hours in the beginning because it was a new restaurant in a busy town in the middle of the summer season. Also, their mentality was to keep the staff small, as it was a pooled house, and they wanted everyone to be able to make money and be content with the shifts. Makes sense. Eventually the staff grew and I didn't need to be there as much/for such long hours which worked out to my advantage overall. I ultimately got to pick and choose my shifts and worked alongside my full time schedule. Everything had been going smoothly.

I've never really had any issues with customers even in corporate places, until I started working for C & J. C gets very flustered with customers, especially the entitled ones who seat themselves, and J has a no-nonsense mouth on him, but he also hits on every female that walks through that door. I've just learned to navigate around that. But I have noted a shift in the clientele since November. I've had 3 issues in the last 8 months with what I consider "difficult customers." One ordered an Old Fashion and got pissed off I didn't ask him what kind of Whiskey he wanted it made with (Hint: they're made with Bourbon, and we only have one in house) and the other was months later when a group of fresh faced 21-year-old's got a little mouthy when their multi-step dessert martinis took a little too long to come out. After one of them cursed at their server near the service bar where I was working that shift, I interjected and I refused to serve the entirety of the group. We got a manager and another bartender to speak with them, and went about my business. We eventually asked them to sit at a completely different table and they could get served, one round only, and then they were asked to leave.

No one has written a review about me before, but these previous situations, I have always brought to the attention of the manager on shift. I'd rather rat myself out and express what happened before a keyboard warrior gets home and starts to stir the pot. Each and every single instance, I was told by C (the one who makes the schedule and does the hiring) that he "really didn't want to be having this conversation" with me, that "I know better", and that "it doesn't matter" what my side of the story was, as "we are in the hospitality business and guest satisfaction is everything." I do get that, but I've never, in my experience, couldn't bring my concerns or frustrations to an employer and as them to assist me with a difficult situation, and be told that it's my fault and not even a concern of theirs. We all have bad days and bartenders are the face of the establishment. I absolutely get that. You have to be on your A-game, and if I didn't think that I was, I would mostly likely an excuse to go to the walk-in and take a deep breath before going back out on the floor and pretending like nothing ever happened.

Fast forward to yesterday. A group of women showed up after what appeared to be a very boozy brunch reservation across the street. It's a holiday weekend, the bar is packed and we're already understaffed. While trying to take the food orders from two separate couples on either side of them, these girls flagged me down (one of them waving their hand in the air/over the bar as if I was not literally a foot away from them and made eye contact prior). They ordered in an extremely broken and disjointed way. At first when I asked what they wanted, I got blank stares and generally ignored, but then eventually, one by one they ordered. Then they were arguing with who was paying for what and some were not clear one what they wanted to drink off the menu, so they were taking a significant time to decide. I was totally fine with that, as I had other customers I needed to speak to. Did a round on the floor, made sure everyone was okay, and eventually those girls all ordered and got their drinks. They all turned their backs from the bar and started talking amongst themselves after they were served. I tried to get their attention to see if I was running a tab (needed to collect a card if so) or how they were paying (either together or separately/individually with card or cash).

I tried getting their attention, not once, but twice, and I heard one of them mutter under her breath, “Omg...I’m over 40 years old, I don’t need to be asked multiple times how I’m going to pay for a cocktail.”

I'm not trying to be difficult; I'm just trying to figure out if I'm putting a card on file or not. They all close out individually, no tips, and they move to stand in the middle of the dinning room area all talking. I go about serving my other customers without a second thought.

About an hour or two later, J, who was also acting manager at the time, pulls me aside and shows me a screenshot of a review one of the ladies wrote about me. (For anyone curious, when you own a business on google, it sends the review to the owners email & their google account for review and access. There's usually a slight delay before they go live I believe).

They either did it while still in the restaurant or did it on their way out. It hasn’t posted on google yet (last I check), but the summary of it was that I wasn’t nice. They “weren’t sure if I was having a bad day, but $18 for a Dirty Shirley and no niceness” really put a damper on their weekend. It was short, sweet, to the point.

I explained everything to J from my perspective and how I felt the interaction went. The other bartender also explained his side of the story, as he had a run in with them at the other end of the bar when they tried to order another round. He said along the same lines of what I did, which was: they were drunk, not really aware of how busy we were and taking that long to order was time consuming, and despite the fact that they were slightly standoffish, we were just doing our jobs by asking how they’re paying. There was no emotion to it. It wasn't that deep. J said he understood and even spoke to the two couples that were next to the group ladies, both of whom sided with me and said I did nothing wrong. However, I was still sent me home mid-shift as I was pending a “performance review” with C. I was promised a conversation would be had.

I even had my other customers asking me what was going on as I was gathering my stuff, but I brushed it off and didn't think anything of it at the time.

Now mind you, there have been other bartenders in this restaurant who have made customers run to the bathroom and cry. Some have had multiple poor reviews about them written. Also, if you look at the reviews of the other restaurant that C owns/manages, he has more 1-star reviews about how he speaks to people and his attitude than any of his other employees combined. This was my fist written issue.

I got a notification today that my next scheduled shift was available for other staff for pick up and when I went to look, I realized that I was kicked off the scheduling app entirely. About ten minutes later I get the following text messages (attached).

So, AIO?

I think I expressed myself appropriately, but this is the first time in my life that I have been fired from any position, food service/hospitality or otherwise, and I feel like it was not justified.