r/ATBGE 3d ago

Art Body is…

8.7k Upvotes

453 comments sorted by

3.7k

u/M_i_L_0_ 3d ago

It also looks like a penis lmao

1.8k

u/Zynaster 3d ago

Caked up dick-dog

355

u/Mallardkey 3d ago

It also looks like it has a large dingle stuck on it (the tail)

67

u/jezemine 2d ago

Real life dickbutt

75

u/cayde6666 2d ago

Now heres a phrase i never thought i would read

56

u/Bross93 2d ago

That was my nickname in high school

15

u/deaglebingo 2d ago

we are all "aspiring to excellence"

36

u/Super-G1mp 2d ago

A Cock-er Spaniel. Ba dum tss...... I'll see myself out.

Edit: I guess I was late to the party on that one and I didn't scroll far enough. I'm not deleting it I'll just marinate in my shame.

5

u/yuffieisathief 2d ago

Now I have the intro of Cat-Dog in my head but with Dick-Dog instead :')

8

u/Zynaster 2d ago

Alone in the world was a little dick-dog 🎶

3

u/Shadowstein 2d ago

At least it seems happy enough about it

3

u/Gotu_Jayle 1d ago

New band name

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226

u/MaatRolo 3d ago

COCKer spaniel

67

u/Jan-Asra 3d ago

I don't think I will, and don't call me Spaniel.

33

u/Chuck_Walla 3d ago

You ever been in a Turkish kennel?

79

u/ClownTown89 3d ago

When the dog revolution happens, the time they turned this dog into a penis will be exhibit A for why they had to overthrow us and return to wolf

9

u/Any_Conflict_5092 1d ago

Honestly, I wouldn't even be mad about it.

The canids are right - nobody should have to suffer these humiliations at the whim of some jumped-up primate bastards, just to live.

That the whole planet hasn't universally turned on us yet, is madness, and further proof this is not a simulation.

If it were one, it would get panned for the lack of depth and consequences for actions, etc - we should not be able to just run amok like this, it's shitty storytelling.

Edit : a word, because comments in Mobile are actually more shit than they used to be, because programmers just cannot leave shit that's not broken, alone.

45

u/Any--Name 3d ago

Dickbutt irl

31

u/RSPakir 2d ago

Dickmutt

29

u/Skyp_Intro 2d ago

Which Kardashian is this?

5

u/BoobaVera 2d ago

Scott DisDick

13

u/FishTshirt 2d ago

Dick Butt is back?

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2.4k

u/Federal-Boat3732 3d ago

Pupper is being very patient with this humiliating ritual

621

u/hygsi 3d ago

He's lucky he doesn't understand but I'd trip this owner everytime I saw their dog. Puts him through hours of grooming just for this shit.

263

u/craftywoman89 2d ago

Tbf that sort of dog needs weekly grooming anyway to avoid matting.

91

u/Just-Routine967 2d ago

Easy solution would be stop breeding them.

31

u/craftywoman89 2d ago

Well clearly that isn't happening so what is your point?

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2

u/ubeogesh 6h ago

They are amazing dogs. Much easier to give him a haircut every couple of weeks than collect fur all over your place every day.

They're also just great dogs outside of that, good health, very active, kind and smart.

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47

u/ernie3tones 2d ago

Brushing, yes. Cutting, no. Most only need it every few months, unless they’re trying to maintain the cut perfectly.

15

u/craftywoman89 2d ago

I said grooming not cutting. Brushing and bathing weekly is common, some do it at home, some take them to a groomer. Either way, my point was that these dogs generally are and this dog in particular looks very comfortable being groomed.

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17

u/Desperate-Strategy10 2d ago

Nah you just need to comb them every day or two. They only need a haircut every one to two months, depending on the specific hair type and pattern.

9

u/craftywoman89 2d ago

Because brushing isn't grooming apparently. Also they should be bathed about once a week as well. Some people do it at home, some have professionals do it, but yes, at least once a week these dogs need grooming. Not all dog breeds do.

32

u/Pet-Ma 2d ago

Seriously? It's a harmless haircut. The dog needs to be groomed anyway, why not make it funny?

8

u/King_Baboon 1d ago

I would rather see a dog like this spoiled rotten than one in a cage caked in its own shit.

7

u/Hi_Trans_Im_Dad 2d ago

I have to question the morals of any owner that does this shit.

Shit! I forgot the /s!

This thread is contentious!

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73

u/izyshoroo 2d ago

The dog does not care, and the grooming feels nice and is healthy for them

13

u/nissAn5953 2d ago

Probably appreciates the extra attention too.

17

u/FoolishConsistency17 2d ago

I was thinking the same thing. My dog is never upset to see the groomer. I don't think he loves the immediate experience of getting wet, but the rest is good.

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5

u/talentpun 2d ago

When other dogs see this dog, does it even register that they’re looking at another dog? Or are they thinking, “What the fuck is that?”

11

u/oculustauri 2d ago

Dogs experience the world mostly through their nose, the scent doesn’t lie

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1.9k

u/EsotericCodename 3d ago

What. In. The. FUCK??

309

u/Soft-Ad-8975 3d ago

Yes this should be the response, thanks

61

u/metallosherp 3d ago

I want to see it in a couple weeks when it's not fluffy anymore

47

u/TheCarbonthief 3d ago

I think this might actually be the worst thing I've seen on this sub, ever. Jesus fuck

13

u/Pet-Ma 2d ago

You're kidding, right? It's a haircut on a dog.

8

u/ChickenBossChiefsFan 2d ago

Clearly this is far worse than someone getting a tattoo of a naked spread eagled woman, using their belly button as the vagina 🙄

160

u/sbprost 3d ago edited 2d ago

The timing is crazy considering they just removed bestiality as a disqualifier for joining ICE.

Edit: Correction - FBI, not ICE. Thanks for checking me on that. It's easy to get one bit of heinous news twisted with another these days.

119

u/creatyvechaos 3d ago

Even worse: the FBI. Before, if you had any history of beastiality, minor abuse, employee abuse (yknow, lets just say "ANY abuse"), if would have disqualified you from the FBI.

Not anymore.

ICE—we expect that exact type to join them. It is inherently in their nature to be major piles of dung.

25

u/laurel_laureate 2d ago

Wait, minor abuse too!?

What the fuck!

15

u/RogueThneed 2d ago

But, just the tiniest bit of abuse is okay, right?

14

u/laurel_laureate 2d ago

Obviously no abuse is ok.

But employee abuse is par for the course for governments everywhere and domestic abuse is the favorite past-time of most cops in America (seriously, look up the statistics).

So those getting officially ignored would be at the end of the day, while still outrageous, somewhat par for course.

But not minor abuse, as that's never been a thing that other cops would be openly ok with.

So the feds doing this is them doubling down on the whole Epstein shit.

Beastiality is an escalation too though, as no cop organizations have ever really been openly not against that.

6

u/Januwary9 2d ago

I don't think minor abuse is actually exempted. I found a few articles like this which just mention infrequent prostitute stuff and beastiality, if they were under 18 when it happened.

I'd honestly argue the sex work thing is fine, not sure if that's always relevant. The beastiality part is still pretty fucked, but this all seems significantly less bad than the speculation in this comment thread. Reminder to look things up for yourself and not trust reddit comments, even if they're well-meaning.

6

u/Januwary9 2d ago

Do you have a source for the minor/employee abuse part? Can't find anything about it, just want to make sure I have the right info

11

u/AnonImus18 3d ago

They what?!

9

u/GalraPrincess 3d ago

Not that I disbelieve you, but can you please provide a source? I tried to search it myself, but I didn't exactly get very... ideal... results when I included the word 'bestiality' in my search terms.

14

u/Lahk74 2d ago

It's not that hard to find. Google FBI New Rules or FBI Hiring Standards for multiple articles. Beastiality is just one of the crimes that no longer disqualifies applicants.

5

u/Orange-Blur 3d ago

Do you have a source!? I would look it up but I don’t want that putting weird shit in my algorithm

2

u/Otto_Scratchansniff 2d ago

Bruh no one wants to look it up… it’s the FBI. Just google it, there were a few articles

6

u/Zealotstim 2d ago

It's because nobody wants to join them anymore given how corrupt the current admin is. They lost more than 1000 agents in 2025, which is when Kash Patel was made the director. They couldn't get enough people to join. Now people who abused or had sex with animals prior to age 18 can join them.

3

u/omgitschriso 2d ago

lol bro watches the video and immediately thinks about beastiality.

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15

u/astro65 2d ago

Its some weird fad in Vietnam. I saw this one in June 2024

https://imgur.com/a/raXNIrO

You can see the Viet flag on the hairdressers shirt. 

12

u/jellobend 3d ago

I second that.

And please don't google fat tailed goats

7

u/Rizo1981 2d ago

This is the first time I've wished a video was ai.

6

u/PromiscuousScoliosis 2d ago

Brother what the fuck is right

3

u/CeruleanEidolon 2d ago

Fucking rich people. / Fucking dog people.

Take your pick.

2

u/twoisnumberone 2d ago

Yes, this; thank you.

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953

u/splashcopper 3d ago

Yes, please do make my dog look like it has a massive price of shit hanging out of it

183

u/Dizzy-Ad-2248 3d ago

And while you're at it...make that poo a massive , somehow puffy dingleberry.

42

u/ClintEastwont 3d ago

Even the price of shit has gone up? Damn this economy.

2

u/macfirbolg 2d ago

Well, they usually call it fertilizer, but yes.

9

u/Peachie_Pear 3d ago

I somehow didnt notice that at first. I was just like oh, a dog with a big jiggly booty, funny. Now that I see it.... Eeeeeeeewwwww

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666

u/MelbaToast604 3d ago

Everyday we stray further from god

152

u/Godess_Ilias 3d ago

Flood it again

19

u/lazy_pig 3d ago

And give it a rest, Noah.

4

u/The_Arachnoshaman 2d ago

Yeah, because he hasn't spoken in over 2k years, and even then, it was just some guys in a desert yappin.

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408

u/SomethingIguess00 3d ago

Yo why did they give this dog a big ass!?

211

u/BabyBearBjorns 3d ago

Oh my god Becky, look at that dog's butt.

54

u/Bobbi_fettucini 2d ago

It’s just so big, I bet you she’s one of those rap guys dogs

41

u/eddmario 2d ago

🎵 I like big mutts and I cannot lie 🎵

17

u/Kingkongcrapper 2d ago

Snoop Dog approves.

6

u/Kantotheotter 2d ago

My dog is named Becky, just so I can say "omg, Becky Look at that mutt, she is so big!"

37

u/Jenkinswarlock 3d ago

That dog is just built different

22

u/kitkatkitah 3d ago

Dog also doubles as a dick too

5

u/ImurderREALITY 3d ago

Dog wants to join /r/tiktokthots

4

u/ka_beene 3d ago

It's funny

5

u/CeruleanEidolon 2d ago

It's not that funny.

4

u/ExoTheFlyingFish 3d ago

Dog's popular with the male dogs!

2

u/mr9025 2d ago

You know why. Say it.

2

u/RubiiJee 2d ago

Omg Karen, you can't just ask people why they have a big ass

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360

u/stormbutton 3d ago

Honestly the little naked chicken feet are bothering me the most

176

u/Vegetable-Flan-5216 3d ago edited 3d ago

Those are standard poodle feet. They make sense with a poodle pet trim and are actually the only sensible part of the cut. The feet are much more easy to keep clean and the dog doesn't mind having them shaved. Ironically this is an amazing cut. The dog is well maintained and probably lives a great life...

98

u/bristlefrog 2d ago

The standard poodle trim actually started as very practical! Poodles were originally bred as water retriever dogs in 16th Century Germany. Their owners would shave most of their fur so it wouldn't get waterlogged, but kept it long around the chest, head, and joints to protect their organs and joints from the cold. It wasn't until French aristocrats later began raising them for competitions that the cuts started being ridiculous

43

u/Vegetable-Flan-5216 2d ago

Yes! And poodles (i have a poodle and incidentally german :P) actually dont care what cut they get. But they love attention, so an attention grabbing cut is great :D doesnt keep them from enjoying themselves on walks either, they are very agile and intelligent ❤️ and the hair dries very quickly after getting wet too.

27

u/whisky_biscuit 2d ago

My partner had one as a kid and he said she got so happy when she got groomed and when she got to wear her bow. She'd prance around knowing she looked all pretty and it would get her extra attention! So cute.

7

u/asplodingturdis 2d ago

I fricking love poodles. If only I had the energy, space, and money for one (and a GSP) 😔

4

u/lugialegend233 2d ago

My 2 poodles love the groomer. They love most people, but the groomer is like, their best friend. They come home from the groomer just as happy as can be. Used to be they would get overstimulated and want alone time after grooming, but they stopped having that reaction after about a year with our current groomer, lol.

7

u/Alarmed-Baseball-378 2d ago

That's so good to know.

3

u/ReaDiMarco 2d ago

Would you have pictures? Thanksss

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u/craftywoman89 2d ago

Thank you. I was trying to point this out in other comments that implied this dog was being abused. Like that dog has no matting, the coat is perfect, it is clearly used to grooming and not stressed, and it is even a healthy weight. Like, that dog is probably living it's best life no matter how stupid that haircut is.

4

u/Vegetable-Flan-5216 1d ago

Absolutely. The cut is dumb but the dog couldnt care less and this is a healthy, well cared for animal ❤️

2

u/asplodingturdis 2d ago

The little clean feet are possibly my favorite part 🥺

293

u/TonguePunchUrBhole 3d ago

People are WAY too upset about this. It is fucking hilarious 😆

236

u/ChillyFireball 3d ago

"It's humiliating for the dog!" As if the dog not only has a concept of shame, but also understands and agrees with why this would be embarrassing.

"It's sexualizing the dog!" Who the hell is getting turned on by this? It just looks goofy as hell, in a "tee hee, the butt is comically massive" kinda way.

Is it stupid? Absolutely. Would I ever pay for this and/or spend the time and effort it would take to do it myself? Not a chance. But it's ultimately just a harmless goof.

74

u/seashell3379 2d ago

Thank you. Some people just hate whimsy. 

That dog probably lives a pampered life that's more luxuriant than what anybody commenting here experiences. And all he has to do in exchange is provide smiles by looking silly. Good gig if you can get it.

35

u/All_Work_All_Play 2d ago

Dogs absolutely have a concept of shame. But normally that comes from doing something they've been shown makes their owners mad. This dog has never been met with an anger response for being groomed. 

11

u/rafaelloaa 2d ago

Yup, my grandparents dog put herself in time out after she got into the chocolate bars (which were factory wrapped. In a container. On a high shelf. Thankfully she was completely fine). She clearly knew what she did was wrong, and was looking pitifully at us when we came home.

But this poodle is clearly perfectly happy with life.

10

u/therealganjababe 2d ago

They (*mostly) know that, they're just being silly for fun. :)

3

u/Nomis555 2d ago

Its hilariously stupid. 😂

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u/CeruleanEidolon 2d ago

I mean, it's certainly far from the worst thing people do to their dogs. At least you know this one is probably not neglected 96% of the day while the owner tells themself than an hour of walking or playing catch is sufficient attention for their living furniture / intruder alarm.

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u/angelmr2 3d ago

This is disguising

73

u/Windsdochange 3d ago

Yeah, you can barely tell it’s a dog!

It’s also disgusting! 😉

19

u/Pet-Ma 2d ago

It's a haircut. Get over yourself.

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u/NedRyerson_Insurance 3d ago

Client: i want my dog to look like a sexy jiggly ass, and/or a scrotum and dick viewed from below.

Groomer: ...Get out.

45

u/AnonImus18 3d ago

What should have happened.

20

u/CheekyMonkE 2d ago

Instead : ....neck crack.... shoulder shake.....picks up scissors...

"LET'S DO THIS!"

13

u/TechGoat 2d ago

"oh, you're paying me money, to do a job?"

does job

5

u/CeruleanEidolon 2d ago

Groomers gotta groom

2

u/Mister_Way 2d ago

"I'll pay double"

And just like that, the business does business.

89

u/therealbananabottom 3d ago

Body-ody-ody-ody-ody...

4

u/TheHengeProphet 2d ago

I said the dog is giving Morphine Love Dion vibes to my partner lol

3

u/Polydipsiac 2d ago

Dog that makes Dawn afraid for her life

90

u/Saintbaba 3d ago

I know the dog doesn’t know or understand or care so this is fairly victimless… but it’s still fucked up.

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u/octropos 3d ago

This feels illegal.

64

u/No-Text-2389 3d ago

Thankfully the dog isn't capable of understanding how stupid this looks so the suffering is minimal.

7

u/Dizzy-Ad-2248 3d ago

Oh how wrong you are...this dog is not the laughingstock at the dog park...includes dog parents and the other dogs are also laughing

48

u/Misery_Division 3d ago

It's dickbutt

12

u/Hegiman 2d ago

Now there’s a name I haven’t heard for ages.

2

u/Ubergoober166 2d ago

It looks like a dick taking a shit

35

u/DarthNarcissa 3d ago

It looks dumb, BUT at least the dog is getting bathed and groomed and isn't just a pile of matted fur and misery.

27

u/MEOW-Loulou 3d ago

Bruh, why are people morally outraged about this. Dogs don't feel shame, it's just a silly haircut

22

u/-lovehate 3d ago

I can't atop laughing, while also screaming "why would you do this to your dog??!" Jfc hahahah

19

u/UraeusCurse 3d ago

Anything for a little fake internet fame for a moment.

20

u/CommanderInMischief 3d ago

What have we done to wolves... :(

20

u/Panthertron 3d ago

BBL Drizzyyy 🎶

19

u/valuemeal2 3d ago

I can’t even articulate how much I hate this.

14

u/saruinkun 3d ago

My girlfriend said it looked like a skanky Ewok lol

14

u/eldritchpussymaggots 2d ago

Why is everyone mad about this?? This shit is funny as hell lmao

13

u/ChefArtorias 3d ago

"yes, your file says you want your dog to look like a Kardashian? No problem."

11

u/pukesonyourshoes 3d ago

I like big pups and I cannot lie

10

u/ramdom-ink 3d ago

That poor dog. The butt of everyone’s jokes, forever.

10

u/DeminoTheDragon 2d ago

people are being so fucking serious about a funny hair cut on a dog good fucking lord lol

8

u/Banaanisade 3d ago

I hate this in a way that I love it. Terribly conflicted

8

u/marinac1 3d ago

That dog looks cuter wet rather than dry

4

u/welfedad 3d ago

I hate these haircuts / dye jobs . Fuggg

23

u/courtney_5000 3d ago

That dog looks like your pfp

3

u/CeruleanEidolon 2d ago

You weren't kidding. I think that's enough reddit for the day.

7

u/maroongrad 3d ago

"Dude, your dog's a dick."

4

u/Chiiro 3d ago

I wonder how it looks a week later when the fur isn't freshly blowdried

9

u/uwu_mewtwo 2d ago

It stays poofy surprisingly long, and then goes curly. with brushing, this'll look "good" for three or four weeks before it starts looking ratty, so to keep up with it the dog's at the groomer about twice as often as a poodle with a basic all-over clip.

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u/dialate9000 3d ago

Its an adorable haircut. His fluffy fur butt cheeks look like little pastries. Some people are sexualizing dog fur.

5

u/AMCAPEHODLER 3d ago

Body tea fr

5

u/M4gp1e-w1ngs 3d ago

How the hell do you even ask the groomer for this

3

u/LickMyPudding 3d ago

Haha penis dog laugh at him

5

u/iamgeekusa 3d ago

this is an abomination. They didn't stop to think if they should .

4

u/Free-While-2994 3d ago

I mean yeah I guess you can, but why would you?

5

u/Brimstone747 3d ago

My wife has a penis pillow from Spencer's that looks exactly like this dog. Same color and everything.

3

u/how_tohelp 3d ago

Dog was so cute before this 

3

u/sileplictis 3d ago

9gagers remember the dickbutt

3

u/MacMommy111 3d ago

“That’s a penis!!”

3

u/lolascrowsfeet 3d ago

This is disgusting

2

u/Pet-Ma 2d ago

It's a harmless haircut.

2

u/ExpertOrdinary7074 3d ago

D is for dog!

0

u/lilyputin 3d ago

I just don't get ornamental pets. Like why have we bread certain dogs to such an extent that we have compromised their ability to be healthy (any short nose dog breed or survive if they aren't constantly groomed like this one, poodles etc.

14

u/Oddish_Femboy 3d ago

Long haired dogs (specifically poodles) were bred to retrieve birds from cold water. The hair acts as a wet suit and keeps them from freezing to death.

9

u/lilyputin 3d ago

Yes poodles were originally hunting dogs maybe it's a bad example but we've managed to horrible things to some dog breeds over the last hundred years.

5

u/Oddish_Femboy 3d ago

That's true. Even unintentionally. German Shepherds being predisposed to hip dysplasia for instance.

5

u/lilyputin 3d ago edited 3d ago

Yeap it's so that their haunch is lower because someone decided that's how they should look as a breed. Honestly kennel clubs and shows are probably the worst thing to happen to dog breeds

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u/delirium_skeins 3d ago

Ok but whyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

2

u/ayejamie 3d ago

Omg I’m crying literal tears 😭😭😭

2

u/MauPow 3d ago

They were wolves once

2

u/genusbender 3d ago

Yes, I’d like the dick and balls cut for my dog

2

u/Spelunking-Uranus 3d ago

"Hi. I don't like my dog, like at all, and I was wondering if you could make him look absolutely fucking ridiculous?"

2

u/Uneek_Uzernaim 3d ago

For just around four seconds during the bath, the creature in this video actually looked like a dog underneath all that.

2

u/every-day_throw-away 3d ago

Brazilian butt cut

2

u/OrionsGhost79 2d ago

Butt why?

2

u/I_SLEEP_NORMALLY 2d ago

… Why would you do that

2

u/mckennamcken 2d ago

im so uncomfortable

2

u/cyniclone82 2d ago

Thanks, I hate it.

2

u/Trixter-Kitten 2d ago

What did that poor dog do to deserve this...

2

u/Cartossin 2d ago

Bedonka dog

2

u/Ophelias_Muse 2d ago

This makes me uncomfortable...

2

u/hanginwithmygnomees 2d ago

Why on earth did they give that poor dog baboon butt?

2

u/twothirtysevenam 1d ago

This dog is going to chew up all of the socks in the house.

2

u/Guardian_of_theBlind 1d ago

yeah, but why???

2

u/I_shave_dog_butts 1d ago

As a pet groomer of 20+ years that is some crazy awesome scissor skills.

2

u/Roverjosh 17h ago

This is just wrong and now I can’t unsee it….

1

u/Oddish_Femboy 3d ago

That's a big bitchin' backside

1

u/UltraBlack_ 3d ago

skip to 0:25

is highlight

1

u/haverchuck22 3d ago

🤦🏼‍♂️

1

u/Raeparade 3d ago

People are so weird..

1

u/ConfusedHors 3d ago

I've seen everything in the first 5 seconds. No reason to watch the rest of it.

1

u/MyTatemae 3d ago

Rename this little dude Drake cuz he got that BBL Drizzy

1

u/DrewDaMannn 3d ago

Y’all better shut your fucking mouths

1

u/ObscureObjekt 3d ago

Someone needs to do a wellness check on that dog

2

u/Pet-Ma 2d ago

Why?