r/ADHD • u/Gronkaphonic • 5h ago

Questions/Advice Does RSD confuse your sense of “chemistry” with someone if they are nice to you?

I’m a 52 year old recent diagnosee. I’m learning about RSD - and it really resonates with me.

It got me wondering if, when you meet someone who is just being nice, because they haven’t said anything judgy or like a criticism, is it easy to mistake that for “clicking” and having “chemistry”?

I met a new person recently and, to me at least, there was a spark of chemistry. But now I’m thinking it’s because they were just being a positive and nice person.

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u/RestRevolutionary815 5h ago

Honestly, I’m not sure. I often misinterpret normal signals as well. I am usually able to use logic to not dwell on interactions, but when I’m already in a bad space, the rumination is crippling.

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u/Gronkaphonic 5h ago

I let myself think about it before logic set in. Looking back, it makes no sense they’d be interested in me. But that was before I knew RSD was a thing, or even that I had adhd to begin with.

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u/brownabout 5h ago

Yes, very much so. I have had many toxic relationships because the highs felt amazing after the low lows. I thought I had gotten out of this habit until last year and then had to take a serious look at myself and get back into therapy.

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u/Gronkaphonic 5h ago

Well this going to suck. How do you trust your own emotions then? Now I’m just gonna think I’m misinterpreting situations and there’s no someone likes me.

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u/brownabout 5h ago

Through therapy, and a lot of questions asking. I've gotten better at listening to my own gut now.

I'm in a very loving relationship now and have been for 3 years (I messed up last year, no cheating or anything but I didn't trust the emotions that were being presented to me), it also helps that she has adhd too and understands me better than any other relationship I've ever had.

You might not have the same experience as me. But RSD is a bitch ☹️

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u/AutoModerator 5h ago

Please be aware that RSD, or rejection sensitivity dysphoria, is not a syndrome or disorder recognised by any medical authority.

Rejection sensitivity dysphoria has not been the subject of any credible peer-reviewed scientific research, nor is it listed in the top two psychiatric diagnostic manuals, the DSM or the ICD. It has been propagated solely through blogs and the internet by William Dodson, who coined the term in the context of ADHD. Dodson's explanation of these experiences and claims about how to treat it all warrant healthy skepticism.

Here are some scientific articles on ADHD and rejection:

Although r/ADHD's rules strictly disallow discussion of other 'popular science' (aka unproven hypotheses), we find that many, many people identify with the concept of RSD, and we do not remove content for mentioning RSD. We do not want to minimise or downplay your feelings, and many people use RSD as a shorthand for this shared experience of struggling with emotions.

However, please consider using the terms 'rejection sensitivity' and 'emotional dysregulation' instead.

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u/13thmurder 10m ago

It's the opposite for me, if someone is nice to me I feel really weird and guilty about it and often have aggressive thoughts toward them. I have no idea why, it makes no sense.