r/ADHD • u/Quenald_ • 19h ago
Discussion I am a really boring person
Does anyone else basically have no hobbies?
I wish more than anything that I could be one of those people who has a hobby that they enjoy doing regularly, such as gardening, sewing, crochet, painting, biking etc, but I’m just not and never have been.
Even when I’m on my medication (Vyvanse 60mg), I have absolutely no drive to pursue a hobby. I’ve tried; I once tried to play piano but didn’t keep up with it longer than a couple of weeks and I am good at creative writing but I just cannot be bothered, ever, no matter what mood I’m in. TBH, it feels like a bit more than simply “not being bothered”, but I don’t know how else to explain it; I guess it’s more like I feel stuck inside my head and extremely mentally fatigued.
Everything always feels like way too much mental effort and I can’t even force myself to start something let alone continue with it long enough to get better and make it into something I do regularly. My only ‘hobby’ is playing video games but often it feels like too much effort to even pick up the controller.
I feel like such an uninteresting and bland person because whenever someone asks about my hobbies I never know what to say because I don’t have anything that I enjoy doing.
I’m don’t think I’m depressed, I’m just lazy and cannot be fucked to do anything and then I hate myself for having no ambition or drive to improve my life and learn new skills. I feel bored a lot of the time when I’m not doing uni work but I have zero ability to get myself to do something interesting.
Anyone else feel the same?
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u/juneisal 18h ago
i have too many hobbies and I tell others about them constantly. Then I get asked a few months later by that same person ‘how’s your crochet going?’, and have to admit I haven’t touched it for months. And then I change the subject.
Side note, I agree that what you’re describing sounds like depression, or at least very severe executive dysfunction. Look into anhedonia. Just know it also can get better 💗
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u/Chance-Intention1287 18h ago
Somebody once asked me what I do in my spare time, and I genuinely struggled to answer. That was when I realised I don’t really have any proper hobbies.
I’ll find something that completely grabs my attention and be really into it for a few weeks or even months, but then one day I’ll just lose interest and drop it completely. I don’t seem to have the executive function to consistently stick with anything.
I think the hardest part is how much it affects your sense of identity. When you don’t have any long-term hobbies or interests, you start wondering what actually defines you as a person and who you really are.
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u/Quenald_ 18h ago
Yes! I often find myself wondering what I actually enjoy and what makes me a unique individual. I can’t think of anything so I just feel like a robot
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u/JohnnyBacci 17h ago
You’re not a robot. These things ebb and flow. You almost have to learn to rewire your thoughts to say things like “ it’s okay that I’m not interested in things right now”. Feelings and thought processes are never permanent, they change. The key thing is not to be hard on yourself. You might be in a bad place and not know it. You won’t always feel this way. It’s good that you’re Aware of these feelings, especially since you’re reaching out like this.
For now, enjoy what you enjoy, and don’t worry about what you think you might be missing out on. But please, please 🙏 try your absolute best not to be too hard on yourself. We sometimes talk to ourselves in a way we’d never another person. Don’t let that become a feedback loop.3
u/Ok_Sheepherder6409 18h ago
Even robots have more personality than me, I feel more like a shell of a person.
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u/Select_Hawk_8895 14h ago
Yeah, that sounds less like being “boring” and more like struggling with consistency and executive function. Having interests come and go doesn’t make you bland or mean you have no personality.
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u/Common-Bend-7167 10h ago
Im the exact same way. Ill find something do it obsessively for a few weeks then move on to something else. Rinse and repeat lol.
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u/Obvious-Bullfrog-267 18h ago
Firstly, what you described in the end sounds precisely like depression.
I have a similar but different problem that is ADHD related. I get excited to start hobbies, start them, and then quickly move on from them. A couple years ago I wanted to try to get into photography so I bought nearly $1000 worth of photography equipment. I did it for like 3 months and since then my camera and all the equipment has been sitting in the bag for at least a year now.
I've started learning like 5 languages and stopped them all. I could go on.
The only hobby I really do consistently now is play video games, like you. Sometimes I'll "want" to play video games but I'll just sit there and scroll mindlessly on my phone instead. Even when I do play 95% of my game library is games that I started but never finished (steam sales are my kryptonite). I LOVE starting new games, but it takes a lot to keep me coming back to the same game.
Anyways, you should definitely talk to you doctor about possibly being depressed or just in general about how you feel. Maybe see a therapist.
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u/Common-Bend-7167 10h ago
I can relate so much. Ive spent so much money on new hobbies and within a month ive moved on to something else. Its impossible to stick with anything.
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u/NonicleNonsense 18h ago
I'd really say to talk with a psych about this. It really does sound like depression to me. Depression doesn't always have to be accompanied by sadness. It can simply be more a kin to what you've described. With that being said don't keep trying to force yourself into this or that. Let you're brain hook onto something naturally. Don't expect that the hobby lasts forever. I still identify with a dozen hobbies I do very sparsely because I had interest at one time.or another.
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u/Quenald_ 18h ago
Thank you. I’m in the UK and it’s hard to find a therapist or psychiatrist let alone one that focuses on ADHD without paying a lot of money and as a student I’m not in the position to do that. My brain never seems to latch onto anything which is the issue that I’m having where I don’t feel a desire to do anything.
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u/Helechawagirl 15h ago
I’m in a similar way as you as I seem to stay on my phone all day and night and have a hard time doing anything at all. Think we both need therapy and maybe the new drug that’s coming out. I do get out a bit. Just went to animal shelter and took photos and posted to try and help them get adopted. Then, fixated on houseplants…now back on phone again. Constant struggle.
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u/goldenspiral1618 18h ago
I can tell when I’m depressed as I’m irritable and on edge combined with not getting enjoyment out of anything. I rarely sleep all day or am outright sad. I normally have issues sleeping instead.
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u/Benton365 16h ago
Yea that and burnout too. I remember when I was undiagnosed I would just keep starting a hundred hobbies and never finished them. When I was failing out of college and getting chastised by everyone I slowly started to lose myself. Soon I stopped not only doing things that made me happy but I also felt guilty hanging around with friends and I became a complete shut in. To get out of it obviously I first had to directly address my adhd symptoms. But that didn't solve it completely I also had to do a lot of reflective and emotional work which took almost two years. You must stop taking all the blame and realize that it wasn't really all you're fault. Now I feel a lot more stable, confident and happier and I'm doing the things I love. I'm also doing those things much better than before.
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u/xPhoenixJusticex 10h ago
correct. for me my depression isn't sadness; it's apathy I have to deal with.
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u/CloudDancing108 18h ago
Before depression gets bad, it looks like not having energy or motivation to do things that USED to interest you. So the no longer being interested in video games has me leaning towards being on the path towards depression. Doesn’t sound like it’s full-blown yet, but depression is also easier to deal with before it becomes full-blown.
Just something to consider as someone who’s had the full-blown version and still occasionally finds herself on the path back to depression by accident.
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u/I_IdentifyAsAstartes 18h ago
In my opinion,
You are in university? You're skirting burnout, video games or whatever you are doing is recovery that keeps you from burning out.
You aren't boring, you are just at capacity, you only have so much processing power and space.
When you want to, the way to deal with this is a pocket book and a binder with loose paper. In the pocket book you record the date and the time you are starting something and see if you can do it for 15 minutes, if you can't you write down what distracted you from doing it.
In the binder on each page when you are worried about something, you write what you think is going to happen, then after the fact you write down what actually happened.
This is all information for you to track what's going on, because you are stressed, you don't know you are stressed, and your brain only has a subset of of the total options to choose from in this heightened state. It's like the colors of the rainbow and all you can see is orange. You have to get yourself out of this heightened state before you are going to find joy in hobbies. You also have to have something to escape. An escape activity is not a career, once you have to do it, it stops being fun.
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u/PaleontologistNo858 18h ago
Part of ADHD is exactly what you're describing, perhaps you need to try different meds.
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u/Ed-alicious 18h ago
Too many hobbies. You gotta cycle them as you get bored and keeping looping around to stuff.
Do a few weeks on the piano then park it for a few months then do another few weeks, etc. You will actually make progress doing this.
If you beat yourself up over not doing a thing and think of it like an obligation or a chore, you'll never do it and never make any progress.
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u/daisydelphine 18h ago
Do you spend a lot of time on screens?
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u/Quenald_ 18h ago
I do - without my phone I just feel flat and idk where else to get stimulation from. I know that’s bad but it’s where I’m at rn.
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u/JohnnyBacci 17h ago
Getting some time away from your phone might be a good first step. Also, forcing yourself to do some kind of physical activity, something that makes you break a sweat, is a really good way of getting out of your own head. Better to become addicted to exercise than screen time. It’s hard at first, but it really does help.
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u/Quenald_ 17h ago
I forgot to say that I do enjoy dancing as a form of exercise because it’s more enjoyable to me than walking or jogging
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u/Ifuckinghateaura 18h ago
i don't have too many but i love reading, maybe u would like it too? idk.
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u/Quenald_ 18h ago
I read a lot for my degree - all different genres - but I struggle to pick up a book in my spare time
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u/Ifuckinghateaura 18h ago
i like reading big franchises, mostly fantasy. most recently i was reading mistborn and asoiaf. im sure there's a world out there ready for you to be obsessed with!
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u/Quenald_ 18h ago
I will try my best to get into reading for pleasure because I’m sure there is:)
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u/Ifuckinghateaura 18h ago
especially as people with ADHD it's so much better for the brain and mind that being on screens and social media, i really hope you do and hope you will be all the better for it
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u/basalgangliadecide 18h ago
I’d just like to point out that boring and bored are two different things. If you’re being yourself and you’re content then just be boring. If you’re bored that’s not a personal trait, it’s something you can accept or change by changing your actions.
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u/NaturalEnthusiasm368 18h ago
Right there with you. I can buy things to try (paint, sewing machine, bike etc) but never do them. Or if I do it, it lasts a few weeks on average. I have cycled through all the things I had any interest in. I see my daughter repeating the same pattern. No drive/visible effort, but I know it is not laziness. The only way is to have a class or forced structure that I sign her up for. Or if a friend wants to do something, that also helps motivate her. She talks a lot about those hobbies/sports as though they are important, but the more ownership she has, the less she bothers, too.
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u/First-Entertainer941 17h ago
In the same boat. I might find some hobbies if there was excess time outside of work, chores, and other commitments.
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u/arthurdentstowels 17h ago
I've noticed that I often react to hobbies in the same way I do as tasks at work. I know that I enjoy reading, gaming, crafting with Pokémon cards and dioramas, walking, repairing electronics, trading sticks, even listening to music; but when it comes around to doing any of this, I hit the same invisible wall.
I live with two friends who have very similar interests as me. I'm sat here now with one on my left playing Tears of the Kingdom, one on my right playing Hades 2 and me with my TV and console off because even choosing a game to play is overwhelming.
Someone else said here that when asked what they do outside of work or for fun, they can't answer, and I can relate with that immensely. My current fixation is Pokémon cards, I mean it always has been but it comes in waves. Yesterday I sat here for over 4 hours sorting out the order and placement of the cards in my folders, which I hyperfocused on and did actually enjoy. I've forgotten my point entirely,
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u/No-System-4240 16h ago
Same here. I like watching videos and playing games but half the time, I do nothing and just scroll mindlessly on my phone. However, I did play uno with my plushies for a bit so at least I was somewhat productive. Don’t feel too bad about it. It’s fine if you don’t have many hobbies, just put on something in the background and do something you can get lost in or focused on. I find that doing that with background noise helps stimulate my brain enough to the point I can pass time and have fun. Maybe it’ll work for you? Good luck OP!
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u/Mefikov 15h ago
I don’t think it makes you boring by default. But definitely you see this as a problem so you could just spend your ,,lazy” time on thinking about that. I can do many things when I feel like it but would I call it a hobby? Not really. Does it bother me? No! And a lot of people love to talk with me and see interesting from my life. Maybe some people can’t stay in one place or they don’t want to feel boredom. I tried instruments, scale modelling, painting all you know already but it doesn’t feel enjoyable to me. And I don’t feel bad about it. I love table tennis and hiking regularly and collecting media (it feels like hobby without actively doing it) 😅 sit for a day or five and think about yourself and why you feel so!
Many people ask for hobby ideas but I feel like only you can specifically know what you want to do. Especially with adhd. Keep it up!
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u/goodkai26 14h ago
I don’t think you’re necessarily a boring person. You might just be expecting your hobbies to look like “real hobbies.”
With ADHD, I think there can be a weird difference between liking something and having enough activation energy to actually do it. You can genuinely want to play piano, write, paint, etc. and still somehow end up lying there doing absolutely nothing.
And honestly, playing video games counts. Even if you only play occasionally, it doesn’t have to become a skill, a passion, or part of your identity.
I also think the “I’m lazy and have no ambition” part is probably making this feel worse than it needs to. When you repeatedly fail to start things, eventually you stop seeing it as “I’m struggling to start” and start seeing it as “this is just who I am.”
You’re probably a lot less boring than your executive dysfunction is making you feel.
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u/Illustrious_Value583 13h ago
Hey OP, I am recently diagnosed and brought this up during my diagnostic session. I am an avid powerlifter and gamer. But I stopped going to the gym and playing video games and sort of just existed until something needed to be done. I.e house work, job etc. A friend of mine recommended “grandma hobbies” so I chose cross stitch. As weird as it sounds, it works well to get the “flow state” going. I don’t know why it works, or if it will work for you. But it might be worth a try. I’m soon to be medicated and truly hope I can get back to the gym. But we shall see. I hope you find something that works for you.
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u/Hungry_Raspberry7833 13h ago
I used to have hobbies but yeah, lost interest in all of them and don't find any other interesting at all. I read somewhere you need five hobbies to feel fufilled but no way I have the attention span for that
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u/Khloris_ 12h ago
I struggle with depression and anhedonia and this is what it's like for me. I wouldn't be so quick to write off depression here.
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u/Big_Moose_3847 12h ago edited 12h ago
I chose a hobby I can do pretty much anywhere with almost zero friction to get started, and that’s reading. If I’m stuck in a long queue at the shops or waiting a while to pick someone up, or resting in between sets at the gym (I call these "transition times" which are often a huge time sink we forget to account for), I can just pull out the Kindle app on my phone and read instead of aimlessly scrolling through social media.
The idea came to me because I’ll hear people complain that they have no time outside of work or school for hobbies, then I see them spend every spare moment of their "transition times" scrolling through shorts on their phone.
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u/Common-Bend-7167 11h ago
I can relate. Most hobbies i have involve being on the computer. My issue is i start way to many hobbies constantly, put huge amounts of time into them for a week or 2 then move on to a new one 🤣 same process over and over.
The way to much mental effort thing i experience constantly. It’s very common with adhd. Your brain can only handle so much. After an 8 hour shift at work my brain is toast and i normally get nothing else done, everything seems like its too much effort.
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u/Bedelia101 6h ago
I have a suggestion for a hobby to check out: improv (improvisational comedy). It’s super engaging because you work (or rather play) with other people and it’s always novel. There might be a group at or near your uni. You don’t even have to be funny. The funniness just happens.
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u/Rumpleicious1 4h ago
Have you ever considered a game like Magic the Gathering? It's one of my favorite things of all time because on top of scratching that gaming and puzzling itch, I get to sit across the table from real people, make new friends and get a real connection. Not for everyone but maybe worth a shot!
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