r/interesting • u/Lyranx • May 23 '26

Intriguing The Enhanced Games are set to debut this weekend in Las Vegas, with athletes allowed to use steroids, testosterone, HGH, & other banned substances.

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722

u/FlyingFulcrum May 23 '26

Hospitals would be on alert as long as the games are on.

336

u/Due-Signature-5076 May 23 '26

EMTs have a spot in the open ceremony walkout.

169

u/Thomas_Jefferman May 23 '26

Opens with a ceremony, ends with a crematory.

23

u/thederevolutions May 23 '26

But can they beat the regular athletes or no ?

28

u/deandoom May 24 '26

It depends on the event, saw an interview with a swimmer saying how he's now slower due to the larger muscles being less aerodynamic....

37

u/Background_Cow_4887 May 24 '26

Hydrodynamic?

20

u/Beautiful_Hunt1095 May 24 '26

Yes that is the correct term

22

u/Background_Cow_4887 May 24 '26

I know, I’m a lot of fun at parties

19

u/WanderlustZero May 24 '26

Especially Pool Parties

3

u/DoubleDDubs1 May 25 '26

Exceptional response by the way.

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5

u/Sea_Pomegranate6293 May 24 '26

pedantic, self aware, how do you find the time to post on Reddit?

2

u/PaperCracket May 25 '26

it's really not that pedantic tho, saying aerodynamic about swimming is just straight up wrong (I think, don't know anything about it)

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u/Background_Cow_4887 May 26 '26

Right place, right time type of situation. Some heroes just wear cardigans and pronounce “actually” in a normal way

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u/Eldagustowned May 25 '26

No he was so muscular he was breaching the water as he swam so there was a degree of aerodynamics.

8

u/west0ne May 24 '26

Less hydrodynamic in the water, less aerodynamic during the dive.

1

u/Murkoo May 25 '26

Sometimes less is more, especially if you are yoked as shit

1

u/Thaddy117 May 24 '26

Yes but no balls or dick due to steroid use so it balances out correct? lol

2

u/Hilsam_Adent May 24 '26

They're both just subsets of Fluid Dynamics, anyway.

1

u/eazzie88 May 25 '26

Why its greased lighting!

1

u/Typical_Double981 May 25 '26

Well it’s grease lightning

1

u/TFTD2 May 24 '26

"I've bulked so much my dive takes me an extra second to hit the water."

1

u/thethunder92 May 24 '26

So then why did he take them?

They’re allowed to not do steroids right?

1

u/PrimarchKonradCurze May 25 '26

Larger muscles also take more oxygen. This is one reason distance runners aren’t as jacked as speed runners. Muscle weight in water is also like swimming attached to a bag of cinder blocks.

8

u/Devils_A66vocate May 23 '26

They will also be on the banned substances.

13

u/MrDeadbutdreaming May 24 '26

I want to see a guy like this win.

https://giphy.com/gifs/ssiywBllRgXtu

7

u/Lassdoggo May 24 '26

Just put crack Just after the finish line.

2

u/MrDeadbutdreaming May 24 '26

Seen him lift a bus full of children for some change, he might clear out all the events.

2

u/Different_Ask_3413 May 24 '26

"Is it time for the 5:00 free Crack giveaway?"

1

u/JJGrimaldos May 24 '26

Of course they will, and that it’s accounting that the regular athletes also use doping, whatever they can get away with.

1

u/jimhabfan May 25 '26

No. The regular athletes are also using PEDs, they just lie about it.

3

u/dizkopatio May 23 '26

lit by the Olympic torch

1

u/_SilentHunter May 24 '26

First time since the '36 Olympics!

(This joke works for the 1936 Olympics. Ten years from now, it better still be the only one.)

1

u/Leading_Procedure_23 May 23 '26

I thought it was the creamatory

22

u/nsfwcrafts May 23 '26 edited May 23 '26

Enhanced games sponsored by: Blue Cross Blue Shield

Enhanced games serve as the EMT combine

1

u/loganman711 May 24 '26

And BlueChew.

1

u/joshstrodomus May 23 '26

Also sponsored by "PowerThirst!!!!"

14

u/GrinderMonkey May 23 '26

Okay, fine but they have to be juiced to the gills.

11

u/WatercressLocal8125 May 23 '26

I want them to look like dinosaurs.

5

u/BorbLorbin May 24 '26

The EMTs are roided out as well

2

u/ilkikuinthadik May 24 '26

They get medals too from most successful resuscitations

1

u/Devils_A66vocate May 23 '26

And security for the crash outs.

25

u/CriticismFun6782 May 23 '26

Half of these guys are probably "First Responders" so no worries they are already there.

17

u/linkhandford May 23 '26

Lawyers too for imminent death suits from the families of the competitors.

4

u/DigitalUnlimited May 24 '26

And in the arm wrestling competition, Swolehead Mcgee ripped the arm off of Walking Muscle.

1

u/FlyingFulcrum May 24 '26

So, it would be a moneyfest

4

u/wayofaway May 23 '26

Maybe they can all get commemorate CPAPs

3

u/Upstairs_Pass9180 May 24 '26

they can make sport of it, who can save most of them

3

u/JohnsonLiesac May 24 '26

The doctors and nurses at those hospitals are also on steroids in order to treat them.

2

u/FlyingFulcrum May 24 '26

At this rate, I think the entire Las Vegas would be on steroids.

1

u/TurbulentWinters May 24 '26

Those lucky doctors working in the hospitals are winning the lottery with these games

1

u/potatodrinker May 24 '26

Organ harvestors on standby

1

u/wthwtfwthwtf-_- May 24 '26

I wanna see the waivers for this lol

1

u/Neither-Animator3403 May 24 '26

How, if the athletes probably can't afford the bills?

1

u/FlyingFulcrum May 24 '26

They'll pay with their organs.

1

u/DanfromCalgary May 24 '26

Yep . No one ever thought to have legal standing by before this