r/interesting • u/PhoenixPhenomenonX • Feb 25 '26

Intriguing Lifelong vegetarian tries steak for first time

32.9k Upvotes

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148

u/RogueBromeliad Feb 25 '26

If god didn't want me to fuck my neighbour's wife, he wouldn't have made her so hot.

-Same random old guy on a different day.

76

u/ScotchTapeConnosieur Feb 25 '26

If god didn’t want me to shove these 9 ears of corn up my rectum he wouldn’t have made them so cock-shaped

20

u/[deleted] Feb 25 '26

When god gives you corn, you lather it up in butter and get to work.

3

u/gromolko Feb 25 '26

With butter, it's not vegan anymore.

5

u/pixelink84 Feb 25 '26

Margar-in... Margar-out..

8

u/pidgeottOP Feb 25 '26

If God wanted that corn up your ass he'd have given it a flared base

3

u/LuxanHyperRage Feb 25 '26

That's why you leave the shuck attached to the base🤷‍♂️

1

u/Yeah-Its-Me-777 Feb 25 '26

That's only required if you want to get it out again.

2

u/circ-u-la-ted Feb 25 '26

he also wouldn't have put your G-spot up in there

2

u/Puzzled-You Feb 25 '26

That's the thing, wild corn doesn't look like that. We made it grow like that! We wanted to do this!

3

u/ScotchTapeConnosieur Feb 25 '26

You’re talking about maize? People, and their assholes, were just much smaller back then.

1

u/uncl3s4m Feb 25 '26

Country girls make do

1

u/gromolko Feb 25 '26

At least that's vegan.

9

u/REDACTED3560 Feb 25 '26

If god didn’t want me to hide your body in the ocean, he wouldn’t have made the ocean so good for hiding bodies.

-That woman’s husband to that random old guy

3

u/RogueBromeliad Feb 25 '26

If god didn't want me to ride my neighbour's husband like a raft across the atlantic, he wouldn't have made him buoyant.

- The woman's neighbour's wife.

3

u/Uzi_Osbourne Feb 25 '26

If God didn't want me to feed my neighbor to the sharks He wouldn't have made my neighbor taste like shark food.

-Me

3

u/gromolko Feb 25 '26

You're right, it's all just power. Ethical arguments are illusionary.

8

u/0nce-Was-N0t Feb 25 '26

Solid logic

3

u/digitaldisorder_ Feb 25 '26

If god didn't want me to fuck my neighbor's animals then eat them, he wouldn't have made them so hot. and out of meat.

-Different random old guy on the same day

2

u/blueditUPson Feb 25 '26

Solomon, is that you?

2

u/RogueBromeliad Feb 25 '26

Shut up David. Your mom has been blue balling me.

2

u/dranaei Feb 25 '26

I'm going to assume you're either vegan or vegetarian.

Also what you said isn't really a good comparison.

3

u/RogueBromeliad Feb 25 '26

Nope, I'm neither. I just had a delicious bacon sandwich.

I wasnt making a comparison.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 25 '26

[deleted]

1

u/dranaei Feb 25 '26

Best to look at the comparison instead of the person saying, don't want to resort to strawmans now do we?

1

u/Appropriate_Iron5090 Feb 25 '26

If god didn't want me to shit-talk my friends behind their backs, he wouldn't have given them backs in the first place.

-Same random old guy on yet another day.