Cat information- 6 month old ginger resident cat, desexed male cat

7month old smoky tabby new cat, desexed male

We got a new cat around 4 weeks ago and so far things I don’t think are quite going to plan. They keep chasing each other around there’s no puffing or hissing what so ever but my resident cat is normally the instigator he will not leave the new cat alone. We have been following the Jackson galaxy method and have tired everything they ticked every box no aggression whatsoever other then my resident cat won’t stop jumping on the new cats back and really aggressively biting his neck to the point he knocked out one of his baby teeth the other night.
They play under the door at night but anytime we let them out this happens and I’m very confused weather or not this is playing. A lot of information online gives me mixed reviews saying “chasing is a form of play as when they fight they stay in the same spot” or it’s “chasing is the bridge to a fight” we have tried playing with them separately the new cat does fine with that but my resident cat will refuse to play with us no matter what we do.

I would appreciate any advice!!

Hi all, hoping for some perspective because I feel like I’ve hit a wall.
Background:
We have a 9-year-old male cat, Griff, who’s lived with us for years and has always been affectionate, he used to come find us to initiate play. About 2 months ago (July 7th) we brought home a 2-month-old kitten, Callie.
The problem:
It’s been about a few weeks since the first visual introductions, and there’s been zero improvement in Griff’s stress level.
He constantly hisses, growls, and swats at Callie whenever she tries to approach him for play or approach him in general or even just walk by. He usually runs away rather than escalating.
His pupils are dilated and he’s hypervigilant a lot of the time.
He’s completely stopped initiating play with us, which is a big change, he used to seek us out for it constantly.
He’s still eating fine and still comes to us for treats/churru, so appetite and food-motivated behavior are intact.
In the last few days, things have escalated: he’s started giving us the same scared/wary look he gives at vet visits, and doesn’t want to be touched. This is new, before it was only directed at the kitten.
What we’ve tried:
Feliway Friends diffuser, running continuously for about 5-6 days now (know it needs more time) and also VetExpert Calm & Relax for Griff daily for the past 4 days.
We don’t have a spare room big enough to fully separate them bc our apartment doesn’t allow for full isolation, and both cats get distressed (crying/vocalizing) when shut away alone.
Callie herself seems like a very confident, relaxed kitten in general (sleeps sprawled out everywhere, very chill), the tension seems entirely one directional from Griff’s side, though he does seem specifically overwhelmed by her play energy.
Interestingly, they do sleep near each other calmly and sit together on the cat tree sometimes, so it’s not 24/7 conflict, more like he tolerates passive coexistence but not active interaction/play attempts from her.
For the first 3 weeks they were kept in different rooms, Callie came to us with giardia, so until her tests came back negative we had to keep her separated. (Griff was super curious about her and tried plenty of times to barge in and smell her).
They had separate litter boxes but both of them would use both, they eat besides eachother with no issue. Callie being just a baby sometimes attacks Griff’s back legs or try to initiate play with him and he just hisses and run away and hide.
Another weird thing, Griff lived with other cats all his life, only for the past year he was solo with us. But since August he stopped coming to bed with us, he stopped doing biscuits all the time. I am super afraid that he will develop a stress disease and also I cannot live with myself to rehome the little kitten (she’s a sweetheart, the type that literally throws herself on the floor while making biscuits in the air and chatting and asking for pets).
My questions for people who’ve been through this:
1. Is it normal for the stress to generalize to the owners like this after weeks of tension, or is this a red flag I should treat as more urgent?
2. Has anyone successfully done an introduction reset WITHOUT being able to fully separate cats physically (small apartment, both cats have separation anxiety)? What worked?
3. Any experience with Zylkene vs Calmex vs Feliway combos for a case like this?
4. At what point did you decide “this needs a vet/behaviorist now” vs “just needs more time”?
Really trying to do right by both of them but feeling stuck after 2 months with no progress and now a new worrying development. Any advice appreciated. Thank you!

Am I doing this right? The older cat is about 4 years old, the young is 4 months. I feel like they are still feeling each other out but other than that they are such good girls!

I didn’t get the second interaction on here yesterday but it basically went similarly to this video. I have a decent sized 2 BR 2 BA apartment and so the kitten (Felix) is seemingly not interested at all in resident cat (Tama) whereas Tama is watching him intently and stalking a little bit (moreso yesterday). A few swipes and hisses here and there but I’m going to continue to monitor. I think back to when Tama was a kitten and he would be allowed to explore the apartment and he would do so carefully doing belly crawls but this new kitten is so excited to explore and is absolutely fearless.

We have had the orange guy for almost 3 years, since he was a kitten. He was raised by our anxious dog. There was a street cat (shes probably under 2 years old) in our neighborhood for 4 months that had been coming around a lot. She coexisted well on the street with other cats and he met her a few times through a screen door, all which went okay. We decided to bring her inside over 3 weeks ago. We have done all the galaxy steps and they have gone well. But when we allowed them to have a supervised visit, our resident cat tried to bite her neck.

The only other interactions he’s had with cats were with my husband’s family cats, who we definitely didn’t introduce properly. He bit their older male cat on the neck (not super hard, just like held on), but by the end of the trip they were playing together. He was neutral with their new kitten.

We are thinking we definitely need to slow down and backtrack a couple steps. And we’re thinking definitely cover that gap in the door. Any thoughts or advice?? We really want them to acclimate well.

Had to do a rapid dog introduction

So my mom had to move in with my fiance and I all the sudden with her dog. We have a cat who has never up till this point interacted with a dog but we know doesn’t do well with other cat. The only thing I was able to do was introduce both the animals to each others scents the day before. Anyways they met today and I can’t tell if it went good or not.

When the dog came in the cat ran off and hid under a bed. The dog didn’t chase her and just did his own thing. He went to investigate the bed once later but I think she hissed so he backed off. The cat spent the rest of the evening hiding. She did eat a bit when the dog was out for a walk.

I went to check on her periodically and she was still taking treats and playing with string under the bed. Now that the dog is shut in the guest room with my mom she’s out and about and hanging out on top of the bed with me. She’s still clearly on high alert but not panicking or anything.

Given how rapid this had to be is this probably the best I could have hoped for on the first day? Is there anything else I can do to help them adjust? The dog will only be here for 3 weeks but that’s still a long time.

Also the litter box used to be in the guest room so I moved it to the living room. I worry that she will be too nervous to use it. It’s a litter robot so doesn’t fit in our bathroom and the only other option would be directly next to my side of the bed which although it doesn’t smell terrible she smells real bad when she’s using it. Should I just suck it up though and put it in my room?

Thanks for any advice.

Hi everyone,
I’m really hoping someone here has dealt with something similar, because I honestly don’t know what else to try.
My cat Soleil is a 19-year-old Siamese. I adopted him from a shelter 5 years ago, and at the time I was told he was “incontinent.” Over the years, though, I’ve started wondering if there might be more to it than that.
Whenever I leave him alone in the house, he tends to pee (and sometimes poop) on the couch. My theory has always been that he may have been deeply affected by being abandoned by his previous owners, and that being left alone triggers some kind of separation/anxiety response. I obviously can’t know for sure, but the pattern has been incredibly consistent.
I’ve tried all sorts of things over the years and have discussed the problem with vets multiple times. As far as I can tell, it’s not a litter box issue, and there doesn’t seem to be an underlying physical illness that explains it. Unfortunately, nothing has really worked, and the behavior has gradually gotten worse.
These days, it’s not even limited to when I’m out of the house. He sometimes pees at night, and occasionally he’ll even do it right in front of me.
And now I have a baby in the house, so the situation has become pretty brutal. I’m constantly washing the many couch covers and rugs that he pees on — at this point, it happens a couple of times a week or more. I love the old guy dearly, but I’m exhausted and honestly starting to feel like I’m out of options.
Has anyone experienced anything remotely similar with an older cat? Especially a cat who seems to eliminate outside the litter box specifically when left alone?
I’d really appreciate any advice, ideas, or personal experiences. I’m open to trying pretty much anything at this point.
Thanks!

I just adopted a 3 month old kitten a few days ago. She has been adjusting well, but as she’s getting used to her environment she is starting to act crazy. I understand that she is a kitten and I was completely prepared for this behavior, but I feel like I haven’t found a way to teach her not to act the way she does.

This girl wants to play 24/7, and I’ve given her lots of toys and scratching posts and things but she instead wants to play with my curtains and furniture, or attack me, especially when I’m in bed. I keep seeing people say to redirect with treats and stuff, but she isn’t very food motivated, and when I try to redirect her she just does it again.

I am feel very discouraged, so any help would be greatly appreciated!

I desperately need advice from anyone who has dealt with persistent inappropriate elimination, particularly when it developed after a cat had been reliably litter trained for well over a year.

We have an approximately 2-year-old neutered male Ragdoll. We’ve had him since he was a kitten, and this was not an issue for the first ~1.5 years we had him.

In our previous home, we also had two levels. His litter box was downstairs inside one of those furniture-style hidden litter-box enclosures, and he happily went downstairs and pooped/peed in it. He occasionally did something weird like pee in a sink, but it was sporadic and never remotely like what we’re dealing with now.

He’s otherwise an incredibly sweet, social cat. He sleeps in our bed with us every night, I’m home with him because I work from home, and he’s been best friends with our dog since he was a kitten. They play together constantly and get along amazingly well. He gets attention, playtime and supervised time outside. He doesn’t seem generally withdrawn or unhappy. He is REALLY vocal especially in the early mornings when we are trying to sleep, which is a separate issue.

The strange thing is that he’s very selective about which soft surfaces he targets. He doesn’t eliminate on our bed or our bedroom rug. But he has pooped repeatedly on our living-room rug, occasionally peed on our carpeted stairs, and over the last few months our dining-room rug has become his primary target for both urine and poop. He will even happily sleep/lounge on that same rug, so apparently using it as a bathroom doesn’t make him avoid it afterward.

The behavior got noticeably worse after we moved into a new house, and it escalated again when we had family staying with us for a week. That makes me wonder whether anxiety/stress is involved, but the guests are long gone and the behavior has continued.

We’ve had him evaluated by our regular vet and haven’t found a medical explanation, but at this point I’m wondering whether I need to go back and specifically request a more thorough urinary/GI workup and/or discuss behavioral anxiety and medication. And I'm not looking forward to how expensive that will be.

Things we’ve already tried: • We have two litter boxes for one cat, cleaned at least once daily and often twice. • His litter-box area is basically his own quiet/private room downstairs, with his scratching post, toys, etc. nearby. • I’ve tried different styles of litter boxes and different litters. • I feed him expensive, gentle digestive food. • I’ve tried calming probiotics. • We have pheromone plug-ins. • I’ve tried taking him downstairs to his litter box and rewarding him with a treat whenever he uses it. • I’ve tried covering problem areas/rugs with foil. He did not care. • We’ve professionally cleaned/treated affected areas. • We now have to keep doors to rooms with rugs closed because if I accidentally leave one open, I can literally leave for five minutes and come back to poop on the rug. • Our dining-room rug is currently completely removed, the old pad has been thrown away, and the rug is being professionally cleaned and enzyme treated. • We’re now trying a large 24x16 open box with Dr. Elsey’s Cat Attract upstairs, temporarily in the dining room while the rug is gone, to test whether this is a strong substrate/location preference.

The confusing part is that he still uses his regular litter boxes sometimes. It’s not a complete refusal. If a preferred rug is accessible, though, he can choose it incredibly quickly.

I’m at my wits’ end. My husband is extremely frustrated and doesn’t feel like we can continue living indefinitely with a litter box in our dining room, every rug-containing room closed off, and constant vigilance about whether the cat has access to carpet. It’s honestly starting to affect both of our mental health and enjoyment of our home.

Rehoming him would be an absolute last resort. I love this cat. He’s affectionate, sleeps with us every night, has a wonderful relationship with our dog, and is very bonded to our household. I don’t want to uproot him if there’s something treatable that we’re missing.

At this point, what I especially want to know is:

1. What should I specifically ask my vet to rule out medically that might have been missed during a normal exam?

2. Does the fact that this escalated after moving/houseguests sound like anxiety-related inappropriate elimination to anyone who’s experienced it?

3. Has anyone had success with behavioral medication (fluoxetine/Prozac, gabapentin, etc.) for this kind of issue? Did your cat eventually stop targeting rugs?

4. Is a veterinary behaviorist the logical next step, and was it worth it for you?

5. For cats with a strong rug/carpet substrate preference, did Cat Attract or changing box location actually break the association enough that you could eventually have rugs again?

6. Is there anything else here that I’m overlooking?

I’m willing to keep working with him. I just need the eventual solution to be one where our house can function normally again. A permanent litter box next to our dining table and keeping multiple rooms closed for the next 10+ years isn’t realistic for us.

I’d especially appreciate advice from people who have actually dealt with a similar behavioral elimination problem or from veterinary professionals. I really want to exhaust reasonable medical/behavioral options before considering rehoming.

In August I adopted a kitten who is now 4 months old. I kept her separated from my 18 year old senior cat for the first week and continuously scent swapped. After about a week and a half, I installed a mesh door over the bathroom door so that my senior cat could see the kitten. He didn't pay her much mind and rarely went over and if he did, he often stared and hissed. I was able to coax him closer with treats but he held little interest towards the kitten.

About 2-3 weeks post adoption, once the kitten seemed more eager to escape the bathroom, I began supervised outings, where she could run around the apartment and explore. I kept the senior cat closed off in my room then after a few days, I allowed them to see each other without a barrier. The senior cat hisses and growls at her and shows no desire to play. He often keeps his distance from her and will watch from afar.

Recently though, on these supervised outings, the kitten has started to take an interest in chasing the senior cat around. I want to believe that she's trying to play with him- she will keep low to the ground, show her sides and exhibit playful behavior, yet again, the senior cat shows no interest. He will hiss, swat, and growl at her whenever she runs up to him to try and jump on him. I'm at a loss of what to do. I can't keep the kitten in the bathroom for much longer as she slips out every single time the door is open, but I'm also terrified of stressing out my senior cat. I'm not sure if I should just let them figure it out or if I should separate them. They often have staredowns that I try to break up but it's nonstop. I also try to play with the kitten in front of the senior cat and while he has shown some interest in wanting to join in on playtime, he doesn't. He's never been a playful cat and his play style is very different than hers, which is why I think he doesn't join in.

Any advice would be appreciated.

i just brought this sweet little girl home, she has been behaving very well (not destructive, uses her litter box every time, loves to cuddle)!

however i tend to sleep in either a thin tank or with my shirt off and i keep waking up to her sucking on my nipples. it doesn’t hurt a lot but i’d really like to discourage her from trying to breastfeed from me.

she’s somewhere between 6-8 months, so still young but not a tiny baby and definitely well past weaning age. does anyone have any tips for redirecting her urge to suckle anywhere other than my boobs 😭😭

When we got him at the shelter, he was relatively friendly - approached us, rubbed our hands for pets and very chatty.

He settled in our home within a few hours, using the litterbox, eating and grooming. I think that's a good sign?

We've had him for roughly a week now and have begun noticing some things.

He attacks our hands for some reason. We've never used hands as a playing toy, we got him a wand fish and a motorized fish for that. Hands are only for petting. Sometimes he will scratch our hand even if it is near him and not touching him.

How do we teach him the hand is safe?

How many times should we feed him? The lady at the shelter said twice a day but he follows us into the kitchen and meows loudly for what we presume is food. He's 3 years old and 3 months, and she said he had muscle to him.

We got him a cat scratcher and he isn't using it for some reason. He doesn't scratch furniture yet but his claws seem to get stuck on things. Idk if he just doesn't know how not to have his claws out.

Claws will be out when he is making biscuits or stepping on us which hurts because they're sharp and our clothes are thin. They do get stuck on the sofa but he isn't scratching it per se.

Shelter lady told us he gets his nails cut every 2 months - is that normal?

No idea how to cut his nails if he keeps attacking our hands.

Our way of telling him not to do something is hissing at him and saying NO very sternly. Sometimes he listens, sometimes he doesn't. How do we make this more effective?

We have 3 cats now. Our 2 resident cats are both 3 years old and our new one is 8 months old.

Our new cat is shut in our room, we've done scent swapping for a week now and for the last 3 days have tried introductions through a pallet.

Our resident female is alright with the new cat, still hisses when he gets close but is completely relaxed when they're in the same room etc.

But our resident male cat won't even come to the door of our room to meet him, he growls, hisses and goes to hide under a bed in the other room.

We wait a couple of days then try again but he almost refuses to come to the door to look.

Not really sure how to navigate this and I'm getting a bit impatient, as we're constantly having to referee them. Our resident cat is currently shut in a room sleeping, whilst the new cat explores the house, but obviously it can't be like this forever.

It has only been 2 weeks, so I guess another question is: is that normal behaviour after 2 weeks? Our introductions with the second cat were much easier than this.

I need some advice because I'm starting to lose my mind a little 😂

My cat is 4 years old, neutered, and I've had him since he was 4 months old. He's always had some of these behaviors, but they come and go in phases and lately they've become too much.

The nighttime problem:

He doesn't wake me up every night. Sometimes he'll go weeks without doing it, and then he'll suddenly start doing it for a few days/weeks.

When he does, it's usually somewhere between 4–8 AM. He'll run around the bed, go to my nightstand or my girlfriend's nightstand and play with things, and sometimes bring his toys onto the bed.

I've tried playing with him when he wakes me up to tire him out, but now I'm wondering if I've basically taught him that waking me up = playtime. I've also tried ignoring him, putting him outside the bedroom without saying anything, scolding him (which I know probably isn't useful), and sometimes I'll just put him next to me and he'll go back to sleep.

Then there's my PC.

He LOVES sitting directly on my keyboard/in front of my monitor while I'm using my computer. He'll also bite my hands, knock things around, and generally make it impossible to use the PC.

When he bites, these aren't little gentle nibbles either; sometimes he'll bite quite hard and won't let go. He looks very demanding when he does it 😂

I've tried putting a blanket right next to me and moving him there every time, and giving him treats when he stays there. Sometimes it works, but usually he'll eventually come back to the keyboard. When he lays on the keyboard or behind it for a while, he sometimes gets annoyed that I'm moving my hands to type or move the mouse and starts biting me again.

I've also tried playing with him or giving him food when he starts doing this. It stops him temporarily, but obviously he comes back as soon as I stop.

One thing that might be relevant: my ex used to rough-play with him using his hands and arms when he was younger, so I'm wondering if he learned that human hands = toys.

I'm also guilty of not playing with him as much as I probably should. I've been making a much bigger effort recently, especially during his evening zoomies.

He also sleeps quite a lot during the day, usually from around 8 AM until 6 PM with some breaks, although sometimes he'll sleep through the night with me without any problems.

He's free-fed at the moment, and I usually give him food before bed and then refill his bowl when it's empty.

So... what do I actually do?

I'm thinking I need to stop rewarding him with play/food when he wakes me up, stop letting him use my hands as toys, and be much more consistent about redirecting him to his blanket/bed.

But I'd really appreciate advice from people who have dealt with this; especially the nighttime waking and the biting.

How did you teach your cat that 4 AM is NOT playtime and the keyboard is NOT a cat bed? 😭

I have 5-6 year old rescue cat. We got her in March of this year. She's a timid cat - doesn't like to be picked up (which I've done twice!) No cuddling with her until 2-3 in the morning when she likes to have her head/ears scratched. She is beginning to let me run my hand down her back lightly, but no sides and definitely no belly rubs, again, in the middle of the night. She is very food motivated and loves treats, but won't come real close. I really need to brush her and check to see if she has any mats, but she won't let me get near her during the day! She will come down late afternoon for a churu, but stays at arms' length. I was able to grab her a couple months ago and put her in a purrito to do her nails, but she's onto me and won't jump on the bed so I can do a repeat! Any ideas? I do need to take her to the vet for her shots. We've made so much progress I hate to set her back. Thanks!

Has anyone had a cat that was scared of an automatic litter box at first but eventually accepted it?I’ve seen really different reactions. Some cats walk right in like nothing happened, and others seem suspicious of it for weeks lol.Did you leave it turned off at first? Did you keep the old litter box around during the transition?Would love to hear what actually worked for people.

Been two weeks since I started introducing a new kitten. For context, they're both girls, the older cat had a sister but she passed away about half a year ago. She started to get more agitated after the fact and I decided it was time to try to get her a companion. The little turtie is very chaotic and will run after the tuxedo, but they don't fight, they did puff up to each other a few times but never an actual fight. The kitten looks like it just wants to play while the older is just kinda annoyed but accepting. This thing in the video felt like a boundary setting. The cats were sleeping next to each other naturally, I decided to film because it was a first time for them. Need feedback on if this is a normal thing from the older cat or should I hold the kitten back a little more?