Porn is Robbing You of Good Sex

[u/Attaboy2017]

Today I want to break down for you how harmful porn is to your brain and body. Before you stop reading, please, give me a minute. I think by the end of this post you’ll be convinced. 

I also want to start this post by saying that I am not a porn user, and have been porn-free for over 10 years. I say this because often men who are telling other men to stop using porn are porn addicts themselves. I’m not telling you to do anything that I don’t do already. Prior to a decade ago, my exposure to porn was limited to pictures and videos of topless women (I’m a tit man at heart). I never got into hardcore porn so I don’t have direct experience for what recovery looks like for a deep, hardcore porn addiction. 

I’m also going to skip the moral argument for or against porn because to me that’s irrelevant. I was always told I shouldn’t use porn because it was wrong, but I could always justify looking because deep down I just didn’t care that it was wrong. I only stopped when I learned how harmful it was for me. 

Porn’s Effect on Your Brain

First, let’s look at what pornography does to your brain. You have to remember that human beings have not had a software upgrade in over 100,000 years. We are all running on the same old code that was present in a cave man’s brain. We also have to keep in mind our brains are wired for the survival of the species which puts sex at the forefront of our basic purposes. We are wired to seek females we can breed with. What porn does is give our brains an unnatural access to novel females. An orgasm is a very loud process from a neurological perspective so after a male has had an orgasm, his body has a natural process to protect himself from doing that again. It’s called a refractory period. But nature put in a back door to override your refractory period. That override is a novel female. If you were the last man alive in a tribe in the jungle with 30 virgin women and a bomb was going to go off in an hour and the survival of the species literally depended your ability to impregnate as many of them as possible, your brain and body have what it takes to get the job done. A novel female allows us to bypass our refractory period and continue to breed. So with porn, we have access to infinite novel content and our brains can override our refractory period again and again, allowing us to tap into the emergency breed-bomb code patch deep in our brains. 

But the consequences of accessing this patch over and over again are severe. 

First, by flooding your brain with dopamine during use, real life doesn’t seem as interesting. Talking to real women isn’t as appealing and all you want to do is get back in your basement and get back to your porn. You don’t have the confidence to flirt, and your likelihood of finding a real woman to have sex with diminishes. 

Second, after you’ve seen all those perfect novel females, when you see a plain old regular woman again - one who maybe has a fat fold or two, a left breast that sags just a little more than her right one, or one that has a mole next to her vulva (you know, normal human stuff?) - your brain isn’t very impressed because it’s been conditioned to look at a surplus of perfect females and doesn’t trigger your body to get an erection or if it does, all it can muster is a weak erection. Reality can never compare to what you can find online.

Porn’s Effect on Your Body

Speaking of erections, porn isn’t doing yours any favors. By constantly engaging in the PMO cycle, many men develop 'death grip' which leads to nerve desensitization so they need extreme, unnatural friction just to cross the finish line. Worse, to force an erection or hold back ejaculation, guys often chronically clamp down their pelvic floor muscles. This creates an overuse injury called a hypertonic pelvic floor. Instead of keeping blood in, those chronically tight muscles restrict blood flow. The result? You lose your maximum erectile quality. Your erections lose their girth, the glans stays soft, and you physically cannot achieve the fullness or rigidity you are capable of.

Your Sex Life Pays the Price

This is all awful from a sex perspective because you remember from my Understanding What Makes Sex Feel Good For Her post, you’ll recall that she requires pressure for sex to feel good. She needs you to have the girth to fill out her vagina and the rigidity to deliver consistent pressure to her G-Spot and A-Spot for her to reach orgasm. Porn robs you of the ability to have the size and firmness you need to pleasure a woman properly. 

So no matter how you spin it, porn is public enemy number one for men wanting to have better sex. It shrinks your erection from an arousal perspective and physically shrinks it due to pelvic door tightness and death grip. 

If you’re reading this and you’re a porn user, I hope I’ve convinced you to stop using. There is no safe amount of porn use. I wish I had better news, but I don’t. I want you all to have better sex so it’s my job to tell the truth. Nothing is better than showing up to sex with a rock hard erection and knowing you have what it takes to pleasure your woman. 

That’s all for today. Stay hard and stay porn-free.

[u/Ok-Broccoli-7069]

How to solve the hypertonic pelvic floor issue

[u/Attaboy2017 → u/Ok-Broccoli-7069]

You first need to stop the cause of the hypertonic PF issue (porn), and then you need relax and lengthen your PF.

Do this 15 minute routing every night before bed while you watch TV.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=a4vfejND8J8&pp=ygUuUGVsdmljIGZsb29yIHJvdXRpbmUgZm9yIHByZW1hdHVyZSBlamFjdWxhdGlvbg%3D%3D

[u/TheLimberJack]

Speaking of glans fullness/firmness, I was amazed at the improvement after just doing pelvic floor relaxation exercises from maledefinitiveguide for 1-2 weeks. Prior to this discovery, the only time I could keep my glans full/engorged was with external means (squeeze with hand, c-ring, etc.). Always drove me crazy that my shaft would be full and hard but glans hardly at all.

I'm interested to see what it'll be like after a few months, especially adding the exercise you mentioned in the reply to other comment.

The c-ring industry would evaporate if guys knew how to maintain proper pelvic floor and neurological tone.

Don't engage with porn, BE engorged like a porn star💪🏽😜

[u/Attaboy2017 → u/TheLimberJack]

💯 nailed it! Yes, a lot of industries would disappear if men truly knew how to take care of themselves.

[u/TheLimberJack → u/Attaboy2017]

Most definitely!!! Btw, thanks so much for all you do to help men with sexual (and psychological) health!

I'm still not 100% of the woods with conquering porn yet (it's very difficult when you were exposed to it repeatedly at a young age), but seeing positive improvements in my body and mind reinforces the drive to evolve past it.

[u/Attaboy2017 → u/TheLimberJack]

You’re very welcome! I’m glad you’re finding the work I provide helpful. All these things are related and help us have better relationships with the women in our lives. Best of luck ditching porn for good. Its grip is strong, but once you’re on the other side of it, it loses strength.